27-07-2001 23:43									#1
	Too much SMAC? Put an end to popups!

I understand that most of you are too boring to find this funny, but in case there are some people with my mental age out there...

You know you've been playing too much Alpha Centauri when...

The U.N. in New York had you escorted from their premises after you arrived there with your suitcase asking to board the Unity.

As a Morganite, you somehow expected America to have more corporate lawyers.

You cannot understand why no universities offer courses about Ethical Calculus.

You have received a caution from the police after trying to nerve-staple your brother.

You kill red-haired Christian women on sight.

You're leaving mowing the lawn until you've finished building that terraformer.

Your college tutor would not submit your application to the University of Planet.

A +2 probe rating but those junk mail companies still managed to get your address.

The reason the world does not obey your every command is that your position as Planetary Governor is nominal only.

You were gutted that you could not find a copy of 'Spartan Battle Manual' at your local library.

All of your girlfriends must look like either Aki or Deirdre.

Your loyalty is to the Chairman and the state. (They're watching you know.)

Your attempts to turn your garden earthworms into your Gaian army failed miserably.

You go to sleep every night fearing the singularity planet buster.

You have been to a local factory and tried to get the workers to revolt and join the Free Drones.

And

You visit the recycling centre to pay your respects to your dead grandparents.

	28-07-2001 00:00									#2
	....and another... Increase Your PM Length

On behalf of nethog - You post on the board about playing SMAC on a PDA!

	28-07-2001 00:01									#3
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

You were dissapointed that there were no Recon Rovers at your local car showroom.

The taxi refuses to take you to the Aerospace Complex so you can catch your Transport Needlejet.

You call your tv company to ask what channel Morgan's interviews are on.

You are arrested for attempting to obliterate a nearby town.

Your attempt to be elected supreme leader is ignored by the government.

You try to persuade the bank to accept batteries to add energy to your account.

You call your computer the NetHack Terminus.

	28-07-2001 00:16									#4
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

"The U.N. in New York had you escorted from their premises after you arrived there with your suitcase asking to board the Unity. "

Damn, and I missed my chance to be cryogenically frozen next to Deidre ::sigh::

"You cannot understand why no universities offer courses about Ethical Calculus. "

Yeah, that is wierd, considering how I've already taken all the prerequisites so they must be refusing me for some other more sinister reasons (The dean is Chairman Yang )

"You have received a caution from the police after trying to nerve-staple your brother."

No officer, I wasn't trying to abuse my poor wittle brother, just trying to turn him into a nice productive citizen

"You kill red-haired Christian women on sight. "

She's a fundy I tells ya! A fundy!!!!! ::Wriggles around in his handcuffs::

"You're leaving mowing the lawn until you've finished building that terraformer. "

Just one more fuel rod for the fission reactor hon and I'll get back to mowing the lawn!

"Your college tutor would not submit your application to the University of Planet. "

But my grades are 4.0 and I've scored a 1600 on my SAT's! They should be good enough to get me in

"The reason the world does not obey your every command is that your position as Planetary Governor is nominal only. "

Yes, but that's only until I finish growing my mindworm army in my backyard, bwahahahahahahahaha!

"You were gutted that you could not find a copy of 'Spartan Battle Manual' at your local library. "

Darn, and I've searched all of NY to find it

"All of your girlfriends must look like either Aki or Deirdre. "

::Puts ad in personals again since he scared away his last girlfriend::

"Your loyalty is to the Chairman and the state. (They're watching you know.) "

Yes, not only to the state but to the college that he's the headmaster of too

"Your attempts to turn your garden earthworms into your Gaian army failed miserably. "

Damn, there goes my plans for world domination. :sigh:


"You go to sleep every night fearing the singularity planet buster."

But only until Bush builds that missile defense shield he's been promising

"You have been to a local factory and tried to get the workers to revolt and join the Free Drones. "

Join the Free Drones! Down with the Dean! Join the free Drones! Down with the Dean!

"You visit the recycling centre to pay your respects to your dead grandparents."

Sorry, I can't afford another trip back to China this year

	28-07-2001 01:21									#5
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

quote: I understand that most of you are too boring to find this funny

What are you getting at?

	28-07-2001 01:47									#6
	Increase Your PM Length

...your bumperstick says: "My other car's a recon rover".
...you go to the local gun shop and ask for an impact rifle.
...you call your phone "the commlink".
...when the UN general assembly is on, you mutter: "The Planetary Council convenes without me..."
...you see a worm and run away screming.
...you wonder when your ATM will start using energy credits.
...you hate everyone called "Miriam".
...you go to the arcade and ask where the Virtual World section is...
and when people shake their heads, you wonder if the city governor hasn't build a network node yet.
...you refer to the Dow Jones as "The Merchant's Exchange".
...you are pro-Human Genome Project.
...you want to buy a recon-rover rick figurine for your little brother for birthday present.

	28-07-2001 03:05									#7
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

After arrested from unsuccesful hacker strike you mutter you had no idea they had The Hunterseeker Algorithm

You're reading a report about decreasing population growth within western democracies in disbelief

When going outdoors you take precautions for the sake of worm attack...or build a sensor next to your house...attack the neighbor in hope the range of sensors defensive bonus is sufficient

You collect energy in hope of probing your math teacher

You try to drill a borehole into your backyard in hope of competing with your neighbors wealth

You ask you girl/boyfriend into Hologram Theathre

You wonder how come such a large faction as China surive from the Drones cause by bureaucratic inefficiency associated with their Social Engineering

You're protesting against G7 convention in belief they soon attempt to Corner Global Energy Markets

	28-07-2001 03:28									#8
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

hey EtheMind, meillä on Suomalaisten nimenhuuto offtopicissa jos kiinnostaa.

	28-07-2001 03:45									#9
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

- If you move to a new home, you build a sensor to the place and plant forests on the nearby area
- You make origam crawlers and place them all around your lawn
- You place an origam crawler on a sewer hole to gather minerals
- You send origam crawlers to Celera so that they can finish the HGP quicker
- You wonder why all those third world countries' cities aren't fed by hydroponics sats, most of them have airports after all...
- You place an MMI to your head
- You teach your kids Hypnotic Trance so they won't be killed by worms when they move to their homes
- You try to become more empathic to capture worms
- You try to make a mod by changing earthx.txt
- You wonder why Humans haven't salvaged Unity Fusion core yet, oh wait, wrong planet...

And finally...

- You fall to nitrogen narcosis.

	28-07-2001 03:57									#10
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

you plant fungus all over your garden and call it a centauri preserve

you see some mushrooms in a shop and wonder how they captured all those fungal towers

when the water mains bursts you think someone has drilled to an aquifer

you get thrown out of the swimming baths for trying to cultivate a kelp farm

you build a perimeter defence around your house

	28-07-2001 04:15									#11
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

You step into an elevator and can't find the button for "Nessus".

Your car sports a bumper sticker proclaiming "Hatchling on Board".

You insist on referring to Arabia as the "Great Dunes".

You've been admitted to the hospital after attempting to interface with your computer.

You seclude yourself in the mountains to prepare for the Ascent to Transcendence, only to have the moment wrecked by a yuppie couple in an SUV.

	30-07-2001 05:08									#12
	Full PM-box? Change here!

you are deeply concerned about global warming because your city does not have a pressure dome.

you complain when you can't find "the centauri monopoly" at your local board game store.

you believe that -->insert hated nation here<-- has introduced a genetic plague but you can't find the research hospital.

your attempt to drain the Royal Bank's energy reserves failed miserably

so did your attempt to frame your neighbour

Last edited by Method on 13-08-2002 at 08:31

	30-07-2001 21:53									#13
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

You know you've been playing too much SMAC when...

... you read threads like this till the end, and you even post at it!

(Please, no offense intended...)

	01-08-2001 01:41									#14
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

You build a bunker outside your house

You refer to your house as your base

You call your friends your allies

When someone insults you, you reply 'so be it, vendetta upon you'

Your teachers arent impressed when you offer a copy of your world map in exchange for their 'exam answers' technology.

You are arrested after testing your punishment sphere on your little brother

You wonder why the world leaders dont launch a solar shade to counter global warming

You petition the town council to build the longevity vaccine so you can live to see your great-great-great-grandchildren

You call the internet the planetary datalinks

When filling in forms, you put 'Prime Function' as your title

You wonder where the local nutrient tanks are

You refer to peoples phone numbers as their comm freqencies

(guess what...i'm bored )