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The Flouridater
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The Flouridator looks at the console again. Little orange blips crowd his border again. Again the mold like growth of orange gunk spreads along his border. Some of the orange moves past the line. The Fluoridator’s eyes will the blip to move back, to get out of his country. It stays still.
“Get me Queen Elizabeth,” he screams at his aide. The aide winces and runs over to the comm. Panel and punches a code. The Flouridator’s cheek starts twitching he’s clenching his jaws so tight.
An image of the stately Queen Elizabeth shows up on his screen.
“Yes, what is it this time?”
“Same thing it is every time you stupid *****! Get your ****ing units out of my territory and get them the **** away the border so I don’t have to watch them!” he snarled.
“What I do in my territory is my business.” She says haughtily.
“I would make it my territory but that would shift the borders a bit and I’d still have to watch you morons. Besides that doesn’t answer why you were in my ****ing territory.” He brought up an image of the English units near the city of Strasburg.
“We we’re just testing your border security and I must say it’s not very good. “ Elizabeth allowed herself a little smile.
“**** you Elizabeth. Get those ****ing units out of there. No more warnings you arrogant *****. The next unit that comes over my border dies, then I come for you.”
“You may have a large country carved out of the hides of the Americans and Russians but it is nothing compared to England. We control more land and resources than you. You may have more cities but they are a hodgepodge of different ethnic groups and unintelligently laid out so that different cities compete for resources. I know you can’t handle more cities. Your mayors are horribly corrupt. It isn’t your wonders that attracted our cities to join up with you. It’s the amount of money the mayors knew they could steal from your coffers.” Her smile slipped and now she sat there sneering at him.
“Don’t test the might of Germany, Elizabeth, we have technology you cannot hope to overcome.” Said The Flouridator coolly.
“You mean your Cavalry? Don’t make me laugh. We now have cavalry and infantry that can easily match yours. I am done with this conversation. Germany had better get herself a new leader. With you as her king I doubt there is a place in the future for her people except as slaves.” Always needing the final word, she closed the connection.
Turning away from the console, The Flouridator eyed his map again. The railroads connecting all his cities and his frontiers were complete. It would be nothing to move all his bright shiny new panzer units over to the long English border.
“Get me Barbarosa,” he said to his aide, “it’s time we show the world that we aren’t to be ****ed with.” He looked at the map again only to see green units moving around his southern cities.
"And once you get him on his way, get me the Aztecs. They also think they can trifle with me."
It was getting time to think about what the solution was to these idiots driving him mad. Conquest wasn't a solution, he already had too many cities. Negotiations fell under the weight of the mighty egos of the world. What did that leave?
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The Flouridater
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My my look at all that censorship.
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The Flouridater
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The Flouridator blearily blinked his eyes. He saw the orange on his screen, and the green, and his own blue. He saw the pink far off past the orange. He saw them melting together. He focused on the blue. He saw the blue to the exclusion of the other colors. His heart started to lift and this unfocused reality seemed to him like paradise.
He knew something then. He couldn’t get anything done because he was watching these other countries constantly vigilantly. Ever since the world had declared war on him way back in the world before Christ was born for seizing resources (and a nearby city) from the weak Russians he had a feeling. This feeling he mostly kept to himself as he outlived his subjects. He knew he hated everyone besides his beloved subjects. The world outside his borders wasn’t worthwhile. Oh the Americans and Russians are now worthwhile subjects of his but it took him centuries and many generations to suppress their indigenous cultures and make them proper Germans. Even now, many of the outskirt cities were no good for anything but corruption. No, he couldn’t go through that again.
But now, he had a solution.
The world could be made empty.
The world didn’t need millions of people clogging it up, filling every available piece of land with roads and mines and waste. It needed some breathing room.
He would help it breath.
Just then he noticed an English Settler crossing over his territory with military escort toward the formerly Russian provinces. There were some gaps in his border there. The damn English were going to settle in between his cities. They had the effrontery to move military units through his territory. They were going to learn he was a man of his word.
“Move Panzer division 39 to intercept and deal with these English scumbags.” He told his military advisor.
“That will be an act of war sir. I recommend we do it and wipe out the English once and for all.”
“Then do it now!” The Flouridator screamed, spittle dripping from his chin, “Wipe them OUT!”
Like a wave the Panzers poured over the English/German border, easily wiping out the English forces there. One group went on to the city of Manchester. They fought valiantly and after days of struggle they took the city from the dead defenders. The Military Advisor contacted the Flouridator.
“Good News.” He said with a slight slur, “We have Manchester. What do you wan to do with it?”
“Burn it to the ground and instruct your soldiers to enslave the people and send them back! Any of them resist, line them up and shoot them!” The Flouridator screamed and cut the connection. The Military Advisor relayed the orders.
Once the city was destroyed the rail system was available for anyone’s use so they brought up more panzers and they rolled out to the next city. By early the next year they were at London and despite being loaded with defensive units and artillery it fell in days as well. The English monarch fled before the city fell however. The Flouridator mourned missing his chance to get the pompous ***** Elizabeth but he knew that sooner than later she would be in his grasp.
“Sir, The Aztecs have allied with the English and declared war on us. They have destroyed the outlying city of Dunkirk.,” said an aide.
“How many Panzers do we have in reserve?”
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28-11-2001 02:16
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