04-03-2002 20:50									#61
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What I want to know is what does a parent who spanks their child do for punishment when the kid reaches the age where he likes a good spanking.

	04-03-2002 20:54									#62
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I Rarely spank my children, i am a kind and understanding parent but a child without structure, limitations and discipline will be a spoiled and bad child. My children do not fear me and therefore obey me out of love and respect as opposed to my own parent whom i obeyed out of fear of being beat.

	04-03-2002 20:56									#63
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I don't have any children but I regularly spank my monkey.

	04-03-2002 21:01									#64
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quote: Originally posted by MikeH I don't have any children but I regularly spank my monkey.

UUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKKK

	04-03-2002 21:05									#66
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I guess if I had a monkey I would spank it daily

	04-03-2002 21:06									#67
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You want to be careful, the animal welfare people are quite fanatical.

	04-03-2002 21:08									#68
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Okay Mike..*wink*wink*

	04-03-2002 22:45									#69
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quote: Originally posted by SlowwHand I thumped my daughter. That was usually enough.

Errr.... There are places in the US where "thumping" a female probably doesn't mean what you mean. Or not.

	04-03-2002 23:15									#70
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One of the problems with researching topics like this, the effect of spanking on personality development, is that it is so difficult to take into consideration all the other variables that have an effect. While some well adjusted and loving parents may use spanking as a form of discipline there are many others who use spanking to vent their own frustrations, or who are limited in their ability to love the child and use force to express their resentment, or have difficulty limiting the expression of their anger. Ideally a researcher would like to consider only the effect of spanking administered by parents of the first type, but this is hard to do.

Something to consider about the putitative relationship between the trend away from corporal discipline and adolescemt violence is that many parents who abandoned spanking really had no other form of discipline to substitute for it. I've known many parents who, trying to not use corporal punishment, simply distance themselves from the kids. others who substitue harmful yelling and others who pen up their feelings about the kid until they reach a point of overload and wind up exploding in fury.

	04-03-2002 23:20									#71
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I agree Doctor Strangelove. Like I said in my earlier post..you establish your authority with punishment...whether you do it in a extremely negative manner or in my case a positive manner. My children have learned that there will be consequences for something that they know is wrong..however I will never punish my children for making honest, accidental mistakes..for example for breaking a glass or tracking mud in the house... and spanking is not the only form of punishment I use in fact this type of punishment I use only in dire situation...like if my child puts themselves in harms way!! You see...like I said gaining a childs respect out of fear is a very bad thing...gaining their respect through love and understand and explination of the punishment is another and I NEVER hit my child out of anger and I always make sure they understand what it is they are being punished for. Also I use the one swat method..there is no point in my opinion to hit more than once.

	05-03-2002 00:53									#72
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I grew up with loads of dogs. I can make a dog cower just using body language. Now I'm trying the same trick on my daughter, and it seems to work. Hopefully I'll keep her in line without hitting her at any point.

	05-03-2002 02:27									#73
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When a child is throwing a temper tantrum and refuses to stop a little smack that causes much noise but little pain is the only thing I know that stops it.

My kids grew up with the one warning rule, If you do that again you will get a smack, they soon learned that dad was fair dinkum about it.

By the age of 6 or 7 my kids no longer got smacked as I learned they feared not watching TV or using the PC more.

	05-03-2002 04:26									#74
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Yes, smacking is a last resort for us too and other punishments are more effective.

But here's a classic from yesterday morning. Every day I drop the children off to school and childcare. This involves several trips to and from the house - baby in first, then the other "guys" as they now call themselves, then bags etc.

The older 2 reported that the youngest Dominic (3) had been playing with the gear stick of the car whilst I was getting the bags and sure enough the 4WD was in neutral. He's been warned over and over about that. I can't afford him to do that with the kids in the car and the baby strapped into the seat. What if he does it on a steep hill park? I asked him if he'd done it. He said Yes. I smacked the offending hand. He cried but it was over in a minute or so.

By contrast, Dominic also likes to switch on the lights and other gadgets in the car. It flattens the car battery and I scold him about that but I never smack hit him about that because its not dangerous.

	05-03-2002 15:55									#75
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quote: Originally posted by Dr Strangelove Errr.... There are places in the US where "thumping" a female probably doesn't mean what you mean. Or not.

Thumping in the UK means punching with a closed fist.

	05-03-2002 16:46									#76
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Where is "I spank my girl-friend who love that" option ?

	05-03-2002 20:25									#77
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quote: Originally posted by MikeH Thumping in the UK means punching with a closed fist.

In gangsta language "thumping" can mean violent sex.

	05-03-2002 20:41									#78
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No that's BANGING Dr. Stranvgelove

Thumping is what Rabbits do when they are breeding

	05-03-2002 20:43									#79
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I've had "pounding" be mistaken as a synonym for "fornicating." I think that a lot of violent words have also connote sex...

	05-03-2002 20:57									#80
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Pounding and banging I've heard in that context before but never thumping.

	05-03-2002 21:07									#81
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I've heard em all...

Banging, Smashing, humping, bumping, screwing, doing it, ****ging....I don't thinkI have ever heard pounding or thumping though I'm sure these terms are used

That would sound kinda weird..
Hey baby you want to POUND

	05-03-2002 21:10									#82
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Usually used as pounding as in

I was pounding away...

Not the most romantic of phrases.

	05-03-2002 21:13									#83
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Hmmmm... i was pounding this chick the other day....UCCCKKKK

You guys are sooo GHETTO!!!

	05-03-2002 21:17									#84
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I said I'd heard it I didn't say I'd said it myself.

	05-03-2002 21:53									#85
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quote: Originally posted by Blackwidow24 No that's BANGING Dr. Stranvgelove Thumping is what Rabbits do when they are breeding

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know about banging, etc., but I've heard "thumping" used in this way too. Maybe they were gangsta rabbit breeders.

	06-03-2002 04:03									#86
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We also need to get away from this idea that children are little angels left to their own devices.

This morning I put the baby in the car and tell the boys to get in. While I'm back in the house getting my bag and coat I hear screaming coming from the car like somebody is being murdered.

I get my things and go down. Everyone is crying and they start dobbing each other in. Turns out Dominic (3) was playing with the gear stick (Again! Grrrrr!) and Aidan (7) was trying to stop him. Dominic starts kicking Aidan in the eye, hence the screams. Nicholas (5) thinks this is fun and decides to hold Aidan's head down so Dominic can kick him more. Aidan breaks free and retaliates against Nicholas by punching him in the back, so Nicholas is crying. Dominic starts howling when he sees me because he knows he gets smacked for playing with the gear stick.

Aidan: "Dominic was kicking me"

Nicholas: "Aidan was punching me in the back"

Dominic: "I don't want a smack Dad"



I didn't smack any of them. Dominic was so scared it was as good as if I'd smacked him so just reminding him of that was enough. Then we had a round of "sorry's". Dominic and Nicholas had to say sorry to Aidan. Aidan had to say sorry to nicholas. Aidan went to school with a wet towel over his eye which was given to him by the staff at the childcare centre

When I told the childcare centre staff the story, they said they could believe lovely little Dominic couldn't do that. He just smiled at them coyly

From the look on baby Patrick's face he thought the whole thing was a fine show - I'm sure he can't wait to join in

Last edited by Alexander's Horse on 06-03-2002 at 04:09

	07-03-2002 23:00									#87
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I was never spanked nor was my sister-- it was a conscious decision by our parents . . . but we were punished and quite effectively. Our parents knew the things we liked to do and would remove such privileges.

The punishment really had meaning when the misbehavior on Monday had consequences for 3 days running

I always thought that I put one over on my parents since being " sent to my room" meant I could read, which I loved to do. Only as an adult did they reveal that they knew this and thought that reading was a wonderful side benefit.


While I am not rabid on the issue, I do not see corporal punishment as necessary and would not use it when we have children. Consistency and fairness would be the key. My parents always followed through and NEVER made an empty threat that I can remember.


I see so many parents that give in to a crying or whiny child or that threaten 10 times and then never give the punishment threatened. My mom has told me that it is very hard as a parent not to give in to the child's demands just to get some quiet sometimes. I only HOPE that I can steel myself to remain firm when necessary

	07-03-2002 23:06									#88
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I don't spanks my childs. I don't like that. I prefere electrochocs...
They are quiet for a moment after.