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Blisterz
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quote:
Originally posted by devilmunchkin
i'm actually agreeing with GP here. She didn't love you or your relationship enough to stay true to it...she isn't worth poop on your shoe right now..and her current behavior is beyond anything i've every seen (and i've seen alot!  )
Best thing to do right now is calm down separately. If she hopes to accomplish anything, she needs to go away and cool off and come back acting like a civilized human being. And that's IF you even WANT to talk to her. She cheated on you...therefore...you OWE HER NOTHING (unless she lives there too..in which case if it's over be a gentleman and at least give her all her stuff back (all of it..no keeping her unmentionables) or make arrangements to move out). If you do break..stay broken until she has thouroughly proven herself. If she's done it once, chances are she'll do it again...especially if she thinks you're a push over.
If you truly love this girl and are still wanting to try, it will take an enormous effort o her part..trust is something so hard to regain once broken. If you opt to stay with her (after she's declined out of her screaming monkey phase), you might consider counseling.
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Well I guess we will just wait and see. I assume it must be pretty hard living with someone that you have to kick the bathroom door in once a week to make sure you are still alive (and no I am not that careless, she is just parinoid). So I mean she does kinda have the reason to look elseware affection, I just wish she would of told me, thats all.
To be completly honest, I would not of been upset if she had of told me herself, and not after I had to catch her in a lie.
Maybe a few weeks apart and me getting back on just the juice, and we can try and work things out. I dunno, I guess we will see.
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devilmunchkin
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first circle of the inferno
Jul 2001
time: 05:13
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blisterz: it sounds like your realtionship is bad enough without the cheating. one thing you must know:
THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT!
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Rufus T. Firefly
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is one way of saying it, though I prefer "mensch"
Sep 2000
time: 07:13
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Just 2 more cents:
The big issue here is trust. She violated yours, and it sounds like you violated hers (she knew you were an addict, but you were trying not use -- and yet you did). You've got a damaged relationship here, and you're both to blame (here I beg to differ with devilmunchkin). What to do?
Here's what it sounds like to me: you don't want, and aren't ready for, a serious, committed relationship. Neither is/does your gf. No biggie; there's nothing special about committed monogamy, nothing that makes it any better than any other kind of relationship. But in any relationship, you've gotta be clear about what you want, and you've gotta both want the same things, whether it's being man-and-wife or being f*ckbuddies or something in between.
Here's what you must do: as you sit there feeling empty, feeling lonely, ask yourself: Do I want (a) to feel loved, (b) a companion, (c) some good sex, (d) the dynamic of a relationship, or (e) her in particular, over other women (or men) who could give me a, b, c, and/or d. If your answer is "e," start repairing what you have. It's anything else, say goodbye and start moving on.
And good luck, whatever you do.
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Blisterz
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UPDATE!!! (not that any of this is interesting to you guys, but hey, I don't use my live journal anymore)
We had a really nice talk this morning. We decided that we are going to spend a few weeks apart (no contact at all) and see how we feel when we speak (This was her idea, i really don't know what this is supposed to accomplish). I told her that if she needs get it on with other people (not the words I used) that is ok with me, I just don't want her to lie about it (i know for you old fashion people that may seem strange, but I works for me  ). She said that she knew that, but I was under a lot of stress lately and she didn't want to add to it.
So it looks like we are both willing to give it another try (I hope).
On a side note, I called my Doctor at home this morning (the nicest women in the world), And was honest to her about the Juice not being strong enough for me not get sick (so basically telling her that I am still 'topping' myself off (big f'in no no) ). She was a little upset that I didn't tell her before, but she is going to put my does back up to 125mils (135 if needed) and "take it from there".
So I just wanted to say thanks for listening to whine about my love life and not telling me to shut up (I would of if I wasn't me ).
Again, thanks 
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Blisterz
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quote:
Originally posted by Bugs ****ing Bunny
There's always two sides to a story.
First off, your girlfriend got into a relationship with someone she thought was a recovering addict. Then she finds out you aren't. Just how honest were you? Did you attempt to conceal this from her, or lie to her? Was getting the money a problem?
Secondly, you say you weren't into monogamy, but when gf starts thinking the same way, you lock her out of the house at what I assume was late evening. For a few hours, drinking her wine at the window. I'm spotting a lack of communication on a serious level here.
This isn't character assassination. I just want to get you thinking about your own role. If you want to make a go of this relationship, or any other, I strongly advise you do so. |
Ok, I just wanted to clear a few things up.
1) I was kidding about the wine.
2) I have always been able to pay for my dope (I work two jobs). And, just because I 'fell off the wagon' a few times, does not mean that I lied to her. They cut my methadone and I started to get really sick. I did what I had to do. To keep from cracking. At the time she told me she understood, that she would rather see me topping off the Juice then get sick again.
3) about the monogamy thing. Like I said, its not that she was fooling around with someone else that bothers me. Its the lying to me thats the problem. On the nights she was going up island, to see the guy, she was telling me that she was going to help a friend with a painting job.
Not trying to be an arse abd get all high and mighty here, just explaining myself.
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04-05-2002 09:08
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