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EyesOfNight
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EyesOfNight: Good evening and welcome to a special presentation of the Apolyton Interview program. Over the years I have brought you interviews with famous apolytoners such as the memorable solver. Tonight I think we can all be in agreement when I say this is by far the most interesting interview any of us have ever had the opportunity to listen to. Thanks for joining us StrateJoJo, is there anything you'd like to say to our audience?
StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHAHA!!
EyesOfNight: That's...ummmmmm....evil sounding...Anyways, lets begin. Tell us about your trade strategy and how you came about such an ingenius form of play.
StrateJoJo: I did not come about it, I used my suuuperior intellect to formulate my ingenius equations. HUWAHAHAHA!! If I may direct your attention to this screen I will show you some footage of my incredible skills at this incredibly simple game. Watch closely. There, look. There I am building a caravan. And there I am building another caravan. And another. And another. Another. And there too. Oh, and over there too. And then I put them on a ship like this. Yes, see? Yes, HUWAHAHAHA!! And then with my suuuuperior intellect I send them to a far away distant land where they shall BRING ME WEALTH BEYOND YOUR IMAGINATION!! HUWAHAHAHAHA!!!! There I am putting another caravan on a ship. And there I am moving the ship. The ship is moving to the distant land. Watch closely. See, there I do it again. I am moving the ships. The ships have caravans on them. I am moving the ships with the caravans to the distant land. Look again, there I am moving the caravans into the city. The city is recieving the caravan. The city is recieving the caravan because my suuuperior intellect has brought them to the city so the city can recieve the caravan. The ships with the caravans are moving across the sea to bring the caravans to the city. HUWAHAHAHA!!! Now look, the caravans are off the ships. The ships are empty. The ships are empty and they have delivered the caravan. The ships are empty so I will now bring them home with my suuuuperior intellect! I am a genius!! I WILL RULE THE WORLD!! HUWA...
EyesOfNight: STOP!!! I GET THE ****ING POINT!!! So you put the caravans on the ship and you send them to a city and this brings you gold...this is your genius?
StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!! With my superior intellect I bring the caravans to the city by moving the ships across the sea!
EyesOfNight: Brilliant, simply brilliant. And is there anything else you do to make this strategy work?
StrateJoJo: Yes, my secret weapon. But if I tell you it won't be a secret. But if I don't tell you then you will not know of my suuuuuperior intellect! So I must tell you even if my secret will no longer be a secret because I have told you my secret! I build...the Lighthouse! HUWAHAHA!!!! *Lightning flashes in the background*
EyesOfNight: *Looks around* I see, and how do you build the lighthouse?
StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!!! With my suuuperior intellect I build the lighthouse. I build the lighthouse because it is my secret weapon. It is no longer my secret weapon because I have told you my secret so that you may know my suuuperior intellect! Now watch. See. Look closely. Ah!! There it goes again. See, the shields go into the box. Each turn my city puts shields in the box. The shields go into the box as they come ever closer to completing the lighthouse that will lead to my world domination through my secret weapon that is no longer a secret.
EyesOfNight: Amazing...
StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!!!
EyesOfNight: Now I know I for one, and I'm sure the audience is as well, am just dying to know what you think of your skills compared to the other civ2 experts. Could you in 20 words or less describe your opinion on this matter?
StrateJoJo: HUWAHAHAHA!! My suuuperior intellect is unmatched by these simple fools. I am a genius! A genius without match! I am a genius without match because there are no other geniuses! With my suuuperior intellect I will rule the world! Nothing can stop me, my caravan strategy is unstoppable. The caravans go onto the ship, the ships move across the sea to the enemy city. The caravan on the ship that has just moved across the sea then moves into the city. Then with my suuuperior intellect I move the ship back across the sea to pick up another caravan. HUWHAHAHA!!!
EyesOfNight: *I wonder if he'll notice if I get up to get something to eat..*
StrateJoJo: ...with my suuuuperior intellect...
EyesOfNight: *I can't take this much longer, either he is going to have to die or I am going to have to leave this room.*
StrateJoJo: I am a genius!!
EyesOfNight: *Ok, I'm out of here*
2 hours later
StrateJoJo: And then I move the caravans back onto the ship that has just crossed the sea after delivering it's caravan and then coming back across the sea! And I do it again!! See! There I go again! HUWAHAHAHA!! I AM A GENIUS!!!
EyesOfNight: Ok, I think that's all the time we have for today, so we'll just end the interview on that last note.
StrateJoJo: WAIT!! I have not showed you my ship chaining technique that I created with my suuuperior intellect!
EyesOfNight: Security! Take our friend JoJo here to see Solver, and make sure Solver gives JoJo a reach around.
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DrFell
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Lol, looks like we finally know why Strate 'disconnects' every time someone beats him to lighthouse.
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Deity Dude
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Westland, Michigan
Aug 2000
time: 00:19
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Wow!!!!
Maybe Strat could interview you now about clicking around the board to determine your coastline.
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EyesOfNight
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That was a weak attack. Besides, strategicdick lacks the metal capacity to write anything complicated.
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Budthepoet
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Michigan
May 2002
time: 00:19
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Ahh.... The Inteligent duke it out. Hehe so great to see loved ones playing so nicely in the fields of the minds we so feebily create. Where oh where.... is the cyber world going to....
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Dank
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ummmmmm.........funny how everyone jumps on the Eyes band wagon.........you guys remember who we are talking about right?.....Strateking and Eyes.......remember......Strat might be aggrogant but I dont' ever rember anyone calling him a cheat in a game.........and before you start eyes, I know you have changed your evil way...(yeah right!!).....but don't start playing Holyier Than Thou..........and I'm not defending Strat either....just putting it all in persective.............
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Deity Dude
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Westland, Michigan
Aug 2000
time: 00:19
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quote:
Originally posted by Dank
ummmmmm.........funny how everyone jumps on the Eyes band wagon......... |
Yeah I've noticed that lately too. I wonder why.
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EyesOfNight
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I don't have any flaws, I am perfection.
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StrategicKingMi
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I have just been contacted by the producer of Celebrity Boxing 3, he is a civ fan himself. He booked me verse Eyes for Celebrity Boxing 3's main event.
Ahh, I can picture it now..Michael Buffets introduction.....
"Fighting out of the blue corner, standing at 6 foot 4, weighing in at 185 pounds, 8 time Game league champion, a legend in the Civ community, the undisputed master of the trade route, the one, the only, the hero to many, STRATEGICKING!!!!"
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21-05-2002 05:31
We are all well aware of what has gone in the past. It doesn't change the fact that this is funny. 
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