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unscratchedfoot
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Love me tender. Love me sweet.
May 2002
time: 14:19
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Enter the Yamato
The Japanese people, the underdogs of the world since ancient times, obsolete and deprived, left out of the technology race and deeply scarred with inferiority, sought a way to achieve their place in the harsh international pecking order. They determined to build something awe-inspiring and oppressive. Thus came about the Yamato.
Engineers designed the Yamato as the largest battleship in the world, a "super battleship". At the time air power was not strong enough to prevail in naval conflicts with fledging bomber technology, so success in naval adventures depended on which country could build the most battleships. The Japanese were inferior in production capacity so they decided to win this competition by building a few of the best ships in the world rather than spewing out fleets of low-grade fodder. The Yamato was outfitted with 18-inch cannon and the heaviest armour-plating ever used on a ship. The blast from the main armament firing was so intense that anyone unfortunate enough to be on the deck of the Yamato at the time of firing would have their clothes ripped off of them and be knocked unconscious.
The people toiled through long years of sweat, tears and sometimes blood on this face-saving project. To be sure, 21 dock workers had plunged to their death after accidentally falling from the rig during construction. The pride of the nation depended on this ship. Citizens were asked to donate any metal items they had to contribute to the massive steel requirements of this behemoth.
Finally the project was completed and the nation sighed with both relief and apprehension. The christening of the ship opened up a new worry: what if the ship was sunk? If the status symbol of the nation were to go down, the spirit of the nation would surely follow it into the watery grave. How could they solve this delemna? After much deliberation ranging from the army viewpoint of immediately sinking a British battleship to demonstrate it's superiority, to the bureacracy's idea of hiding it in a secret safe place, the doves won out and it was to be used only as a showpiece.
Sure enough it was placed in safe waters in the dock near Yokohama and was open for visitors during business hours. The staff consisted of young girls wearing shockingly white navy uniforms who handed paper cups of green tea to patrons while singing out their welcomes. When enemy vessels approached Japan, alerted by recon planes flying 24 hours a day from the Yokohama base, the Yamato was covered in a camouflaged tarp designed to look like the ocean from the air. This strategy fooled enemy air recon but the world yearned to see the beautiful ship in reality. The Royal Navy in particular longed to be the fleet to sink it to further enhance their fearsome reputation as rulers of the sea. The arrogant milk bath woman declared nightly to the english people that the Yamato could easily be over-whelmed by the numerous battleships under her command.
The Royal Navy decided to sail around Japan; in effect, taunting anything to sail out to meet it, especially the Yamato. Nothing came to meet them - not even a whaling boat. But the day of reckoning inevitably came about as the RN fleet approached the bay enclosing the Yokohama naval base. The gargantuan outline of the Yamato, covered in an ocean-blue tarp might fool the overhead view of a pilot but could hardly fool someone looking from ground level.
The garrison and dock workers of Yokohama were frantic with fear and chattered with high-pitched voices about their predicament. The English, cocky with confidence and sensing their fear, started to taunt. In heavy accent, a sailor using a loudspeaker inquired, "So what do you folks got under that tarp anyways?"
A nervous dock worker, using a pa speaker, replied foolishly, "Only water!" The loudspeaker emitted hysterical laughter but was silenced when suddenly a squadron of Betty bombers came roaring out of Yokohama. The bombers, sharing the unease, only managed to douse the ships with sea water and score a few near misses causing little damage.
The loudspeaker laughed yet louder and said, "My grandmother could bomb better than that. Well anyways, since there's only water under there I'm sure you would't mind if we fired a few salvos into it for the fun of it. Would you now?" The 2 front turrets on the leading British battleship whirred as they trained their big barrels onto the tarp.
Some of the Japanese went hysterical with fear and several even considered commiting hara kiri. But few who survived the war ever doubted why they refrained. For then the tarp was no longer just "a pile of water". The sound of the cocky speaker was drowned out by an agonizingly loud report. Only those on the Japanese side had ever heard the Yamato fire. They knew how it left their eardrums numb and ringing for up to several days if left uncovered. A massive ball of flame erupted from the under the tarp and the British battleship, facing the port head-on, seemed to rear up for a moment and then was ripped asunder as the two halves split apart like a piece of wood after being cleaved by an axe. In seconds it was but a bit of flotsam left on the surface of the sea. White sharks partook in the few survivors, their screams echoing through the bay in stark irony to the taunts but a moment before. Both sides gaped in horror as the scene passed quickly before them.
The loudspeaker, after a moment of silent reverence, made a final statement, "You're right. There's nothing but water under that tarp. We'll be leaving now and have yourself a jolly cup of tea."
Last edited by unscratchedfoot on 13-03-2003 at 07:55
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22-05-2002 06:33
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