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Metaliturtle
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University of Wisconsin Stevens Point
Mar 2002
time: 23:20
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Metaliturtle returns to funny shizzle in this story.
----White House----
"MOOOOOOOOOM!!!! Where's my scooby doo underoos?!?!"
"In the drawer Mr. President."
Indeed they were, and President Abraham Lincoln donned his lucky pair of underwear for a most momentous occasion.
----Courthouse----
Lincoln walked into the courthouse surrounded by secret service guys, but he wasn't afraid, after all, he had his lucky lucky scooby doo underoos on, nothing bad could happen to him.
"will the leader of the free world place his hand on the bible?"
Lincoln answered, "I will, IF the leader of the subjugated world will as well!"
Catherine farted, "YUP" She wasn't much for words, only flatulent audulations.
After both sides were sworn in, the two parties sat on opposite ends of a table.
"Catherine, will you stop that??"
She was throwing bits o spam at a secret service agent.
"When you're as pretty as me, you don't have to stop anything, Lincoln."
"Too bad you're just an ugly ho."
"What?!!"
"You know, ho, meaning that you're like a turtle, whenever you're on your back, you get screwed...although..."
"Although WHAT!!!"
"They probably had to put a paper bag with porn on it over your face you ugly witch."
That's right, Yo momma jokes combined with insults, the first one to cry or leave would lose their half of the world, this was serious.
"Lincoln, Yo momma is so fat, when she put on a raincoat and went outside, kids yelled "DAMN, WE MISSED THE BUS!!"
"I can top that, yo momma's like a gumball machine, 25 cents a BLOW!!"
"Lincoln, Yo momma is so fat, that when she sat on a rainbow, skittles popped out."
"Catherine, you are soooo ugly, that when you were born, the doctor smacked your mother."
----To be continued pending feedback----
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Metaliturtle
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University of Wisconsin Stevens Point
Mar 2002
time: 23:20
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More Yo momma jokes, please remember to vote...
_____
After a short recess with their finest dissologists, they were ready for more.
"Lincoln, yo momma's so fat her belt size is equator."
"That's nothing, YO momma's like a vacuum cleaner: she sucks, she blows, and then she'll get laid in the closet."
"Well then yo momma's like a bowling ball, she gets fingered three times, then thrown in the gutter.
"You are so ugly that they use you to cure hiccups."
"Didn't you date Joan of Arc, Lincoln?"
"At least I didn't date Elizabeth."
"Remember how your mom used to be so fat that on halloween the only costume that would fit her was Goodyear Blimp?"
"Remember how YOUR mom could only wear the size HINDENBURG, and it suited her because when she farted she was just a giant flaming ball of gas."
"Yo momma's like the grand canyon, ANYTHING will fit in her."
To be continued pending feedback
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26-06-2002 20:23
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