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Rasbelin
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Tampere (Tammerfors), Finland
Nov 1999
time: 07:21
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A bit OT, but I'll go ahead...
DC,
have a look at fjorxc's Encyclopedia Apolytonica. Some of the best posts from 98-00 saved in one place, but some are missing. It's really; amusing... 
Here's one...
quote:
Subject: Civ FM Radio
Well, this was on the "Shocking News" thread, about how Apolyton proposed a radio station simply days after Sidgames started their's. Read away....
This is a joke, not to be taken seriously.
{Radio script}
Hello! You're listening to the sound of Strategy Gaming! Civ FM!!
Markos -"Hello, and welcome to the show, I'm your host, Markos, and this is my Co-host, Kunal, now.."
Kunal - "uh, Markos, I'M the host, we agreed before, did we not?"
Markos - "OH! Sorry, forgot. Okay, this is your host Kunal, and her..I mean his Co-host, Markos"
Kunal - "Yes, well, anyway, Markos and I will be taking calls in a moment, but first, a word from our sponsors".
{cut to commercial}
"Have you ever felt the need to spend? I mean, when do you really ever use that extra credit card of yours?. Well, now you can actually springclean your bank account with AOL ExpressWeb. There's never been a better time to live on the streets in poverty, folks. And for the small price of your immortal soul, we will throw in a bandwith and hours upgrade!
AOL - because your kids don't really need to go to college."
{cut to studio}
Kunal - ".....I'm telling you Markos, it was MY idea to get sponsorship from AOL!, heck, I don't even know if they HAVE AOL in Greec- Oh! We're on the air!"
Markos - "Yes, as we said before, Kunal and myself will be taking calls, NOW! And I believe we have a caller! Hello, who is this?"
Alexander - "Uh, this is Alexander."
Kunal - "Hey, Alex, where are you calling from?"
"Alexander - "Australia"
Markos -"Well, uh, say hello to the pet Kangaroo, mate"
Alexander- "Well, it's not the pet Kangaroo I'm calling in about, Markos,it's my Horse. Umm, he's been gaining a lot of weight lately, and he's been very antisocial with the rest of the horses."
"Kunal - "Uh, Alexander, this isn't 'Harry's Practice' [Australian TV show about pets]"
Alexander - "Yeah, well, I spied on my horse one day to see what the problem was, and I saw him on the computer, posting on Markos's forums! I'm worried, because it's unnatural!"
Markos - "Well, attraction to Apolyton is VERY natural, and I wouldn't be worried about your horse at all"
Kunal - "Hey! you tell your horse to post on the Sidgames forums, they're so much sexier"
Alexander - "Okay.....uh...thanks guys"
{hangs up}
Markos - "Well, I know for a fact that UBB is Sooo much sexier than your homemade junk, Kunal."
Kunal - "Bullshit, Markos, Fusion Board is internet Viagra!"
Markos - "Yeah? Well, at least I don't have to take the stuff in real life!"
Kunal - "Uh...I...think we'll take another call, Hello, you're on the air"
Spink - "Good Morrow my dear chap"
Markos - "uh, hello, who is this?"
Spink - "Well, if it isn't old Markos. Sewart Spink, at your service. I was simply calling your esteemed radio show to mildly protest my recent banni......"{cut off}
Markos - "Uh, there were just some technical, uh.. difficulties there. Stay tuned, we will be back soon after THIS break"
{Commercial break}
"Audentior Seafood restaurant - where the land and Ocean meet. Enjoy some of our fine Wines, while we serve you a exquisite plate of the finest seafood. Current favourites include - Pickled Calamari, and the Giant Squid Family feast."
{back to studio}
Kunal - "I'm telling you Markos! Employing Ming was a bad idea! All his moves are power plays! He's dangerous. I have incriminating evidence against him. I'm telling you, he's a spy from AOE Heaven! Oh ****! We're on the air!"
Markos - "Hehe..heh....YOU HEARD NOTHING!"
Kunal - "Okay, it's back to the phonelines! Who's there?"
Big Brother - "This is Ming."
Markos - "Master! Forgive me! I didn't listen to his lies and misinformation! Please, spare me!"
Ming - "You have failed me long enough, Markos. I will have Apolyton, AOE Heaven will have your pitiful site. There will be no-one to stop us this time!"
{enter DanQ. At this point, Ming suddenly appears in the studio}
DanQ - "I've been waiting for this for long enough Ming, I will avenge my father, you murderer!"
Ming - "Dan....I am your father"
DanQ - "No! It cannot be!!! You cannot be my father! My mother would never have sex with such an evil person!"
Ming - "I wasn't always like this Dan. You see, I impregnated your mother before I joined the IRS. It is too late for me, my son."
Kunal - "Woah, this whole thing is getting ****ed up right here dude"
Ming - "Kunal, there is something you should know. I...am your Grandfather"
Kunal - "What? That would make my father Dan's brother!"
Ming - "Yes....you didn't think Shah was a REAL american family name did you? Geez..."
Markos - "Well, at least I'M not related to you"
Ming - "Well, there's something you should know Markos. I....am your-"
Markos - "No! Don't tell me!"
DanQ - "You know, I've been to some bad family reunions in the past, but this has got to be the most ****ed up one I've ever put up with"
Ming - "Well, I'm afraid you'll all have to die now. I must satisfy my evil urges."
Markos - "NO!! Don't do it!!! Nooooooooooooo!!!!!!!"
{enter Dracon, disturbed by the noise}
Dracon - "Hey! What's all this noise abou- OH ****!!"
Ming - "Would you please wait while I kill these three? Wait your turn. Geez"
Dracon - "I can't allow you to do that, Ming"
Ming - "Well, I'll kill you first then."
Dracon - "No you won't you freak!"
Ming - "Hey! Don't talk to your uncle like that!"
Dracon - "You're my Uncle??? That would make me Dan's Cousin,Kunal's second cousin, and Markos's nephew in law!"
Markos - "What the ****??????"
Ming - "We were drunk at the time. Now, I will kill you all!"
DanQ - "Wait a minute! If you are my father, Kunal is my nephew, Dracon is my cousin, and Markos is my Step-Father/Mother, then who is my mother?"
Ming - "Do you REALLY want to know?"
DanQ - "Yes!"
Ming - "The mother of DanQ is........
It's time for a poll! Give me your choice of who would most likely be DanQ's mother, and a reason why. Best one wins!!
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27-07-2002 21:55
I'll better not visit Poly that day. 
. Some of the archives are now accessible, others are not, but those do not count towards the post total. Maybe Ming or the owners know when we reached a million.
Just thought you could have known that.
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