29-07-2002 04:48									#31
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#1 guilt free flirting

	29-07-2002 04:55									#32
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Hmmm...

It's great to be alone!

Screw that.

	29-07-2002 05:30									#33
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29 Nobody is having better sex than the imaginary sex I can have in my mind while single :-o

	29-07-2002 05:39									#34
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quote: Originally posted by MasterBob The Elder 1. You won't get bossed around 2. You can do what you want 3. You don't have to worry about hurting the other person's feelings. 4. No nagging arguments 5. You only have to care and look out for yourself 6.Your free and independant

I'm assuming here that you don't live with your parents

	29-07-2002 07:03									#35
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger Why would a girlfriend stop you from doing things you want to do any more than your friends would?

Are you serious?

	29-07-2002 07:05									#36
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Yes. My girlfriend doesn't. (Except wrt other women and sexual acts)

	29-07-2002 07:07									#37
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger Yes. My girlfriend doesn't. (Except wrt other women and sexual acts)

..

Does she have a sister?

	29-07-2002 07:08									#38
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No, and you can't have her.

	29-07-2002 08:37									#39
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Being single has its advantages and not being single definetely has its advantages. Both also have their downfalls.

But the wost possible state is being in an unstable relationship that you are never sure is worth maintaining and constantly being drawn to other people besides your SO.

	29-07-2002 08:39									#40
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger No, and you can't have her.

Selfish.

	29-07-2002 09:15									#41
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quote: Originally posted by Ron Jeremy Whoa, rewind.... Tia? Did I read that post right? Do you clean your tub with Self's bush?

Self is how you say........... quite furry and has long hair that hits about mid shoulder blade so it's really quite difficult to take a shower after him without being able to make a collection!

	29-07-2002 09:34									#42
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quote: Originally posted by The Mad Monk No you can't; the operative words there are "you want", which is distinctly not the case when have a SO -- unless you don't give a damn about how she feels.

Perhaps I misread your earlier post, I still am not sure what those empty pairs of double quotes are for.

quote: Originally posted by The Mad Monk BTW, how big is the M/F ratio in Hong Kong, and does it have an impact on how you regard being single?

Roughly 1:1 in my age group and below, though you know time is on our side

When I was an undergrad the ratio was 8:1 (men:women) and that didn't have much of an effect on me.

	29-07-2002 09:39									#43
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Being single is easier on the pocketbook, easier on the schedule, and easier to live with.

Being with someone may be far more satisfying, if you find the right one, but most people don't find the right one and gamble tons of money and time away on girls they'd never want to see again after.

	29-07-2002 12:03									#44
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Being single is easier on the pocketbook, easier on the schedule, and easier to live with. .

Not necessarily, yes and probably so

Pocketbook-- I don't find I spend any more money . In fact, having a two income houshold and needing only one phone, computer, cable, car etc etc between us means I'm ahead lots of money . . .

you were probably talking dating but here again there is no reason that people can't each pay their fair share-- if a date needs me to spend loads of money on her well " see ya"-- and I find that when I was single the money went on other things no more productive. . I drank more when single.

Schedule-- for sure-- Seeing someone takes time but the whole point is finding someone that you want to spend time with -- if you find that everything else wins out over your SO then you have the wrong person for you

. . and after a while you get into a routine that works for both of you -- I bicycle . . . a LOT .. . Mrs flubber knows that i may be gone cycling 3-4 hours at a time so she does her own things . . with a little consideration and advance notice we each can do our own stuff and still have loads of time for each other ( NOTE: Mrs flubber works shiftwork while I work regual business hours so we each have a fair bit of free time . . )

Easier to live with ?-- I guess it always is easier to live with yourself than another person but is it BETTER to live alone or with other people ??

	29-07-2002 21:16									#45
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quote: but is it BETTER to live alone or with other people ??

Definitely. When you want time alone, you have time alone. When you want to be social, you invite people over or go out.

	29-07-2002 21:22									#46
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quote: Originally posted by Frogger No, and you can't have her.

Think i'm off to Montreal this week end... If there is such a creature i'll find her!

	29-07-2002 21:57									#47
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if you get the right one to complement you, she --and you-- will know which boundaries are acceptable to all.

as in, my gf doesn't want me to do anything stupidly dangerous -- hence, no xgames for me. then again, i was never interested.

or, if i need time off to do something alone, not involving mad sex0ring with others or what not, she let's me go off and do it. likewise for her-- i don't pretend to have any control.

so really, being in a good relationship isn't much of a hassle, when it works.

which is the key to it all, now, isn't it ?

	29-07-2002 22:10									#48
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Definitely. When you want time alone, you have time alone. When you want to be social, you invite people over or go out.

Why can't you have alone time in a relationship ? All I need to say is that I need some time alone and I have it. Good relationships are not about control. If I want to go out with friends or whatever, I do it. Generally though, two conflicting schedules mean we are searching for additional time together, not apart.

Qcubed-- I agree-- the key is a good relationship

More generally:

Being single just works for some people --some for a period of time and others for their whole life-- I'm not knocking singlehood, its the best choice for some people based on what they value and need.

But a lot of the benefits of singlehood put forth in this thread are really only the disadvantages of a "bad " relationship. ten years ago I might have echoed some of them. But, after several bad relationships, I now know the benefits of a good relationship and can tell you that a lot of the " benefits of singlehood" listed, still apply to married folk.

	29-07-2002 22:26									#49
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A lot of people just aren't willing to go through so many years (if not all of their years) to find a "good" relationship through so many bad ones.

I would think that having a lot of "alone time" defeats the purpose of marriage.

	29-07-2002 22:47									#50
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29. A restraining order

	29-07-2002 22:50									#51
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quote: 29 Nobody is having better sex than the imaginary sex I can have in my mind while single :-o

Nobody is imagining having better sex than the sex that i'm imagining in my mind that i'm going to have later with my SO.

HA! Yeah right. I'm really actually quite single, and am getting no sex from anyone, good or bad. But I just thought of this witty response and desperatly needed to share. lol.

	29-07-2002 22:57									#52
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again, see, the key is a good relationship, and balance.

i mean, who wants to be around their honey when she's very very very very irate because of her cycle? especially when she's told you, flat out, she doesn't want you around, because she wants you to be around for the other 20-odd days when she's normal... and not in pieces?

but it doesn't defeat the purpose of a marriage, alone time. although i wouldn't know. but in a good, solid, serious relationship, it doesn't detract. if anything, it helps you appreciate the individuality of the other, and the gift she/he gives in being with you, together, as a whole.

	29-07-2002 22:58									#53
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quote: Originally posted by Asher A lot of people just aren't willing to go through so many years (if not all of their years) to find a "good" relationship through so many bad ones.

It can be quite a process, I agree. In fact, I had a couple of relationships that seemed very good but only upon achieving something so much better do you realize how bad they were in comparison.

quote: Originally posted by Asher I would think that having a lot of "alone time" defeats the purpose of marriage.

Not really. Marriage can be whatever the two people want to make of it. I do not seek a lot of "alone time" but if I want it, it would be no problem.

	29-07-2002 23:19									#54
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quote: Originally posted by Urban Ranger Perhaps I misread your earlier post, I still am not sure what those empty pairs of double quotes are for.

Those are ditto marks -- they indicate you should read them as the line above.

	30-07-2002 00:44									#55
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if you saw my gf you'd understand why i gave up the right to be pig when and where i want it.
i used to be a ladies man

	30-07-2002 04:52									#56
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quote: Originally posted by LightEning 28. More time to reach Supreme Enlightenment

There are more ways then yours to reach Supreme Enlightenment, and for one of them an SO is vital.

	30-07-2002 07:46									#57
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SO! Tee hee!

	30-07-2002 10:12									#58
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quote: Originally posted by Q Cubed again, see, the key is a good relationship, and balance. i mean, who wants to be around their honey when she's very very very very irate because of her cycle? especially when she's told you, flat out, she doesn't want you around, because she wants you to be around for the other 20-odd days when she's normal... and not in pieces? but it doesn't defeat the purpose of a marriage, alone time. although i wouldn't know. but in a good, solid, serious relationship, it doesn't detract. if anything, it helps you appreciate the individuality of the other, and the gift she/he gives in being with you, together, as a whole.

BINGO!!! Give that man a cookie! By George I think he's got it!

	30-07-2002 12:42									#59
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quote: Originally posted by MasterBob The Elder Good points about not having a significant other: 1. You won't get bossed around 2. You can do what you want 3. You don't have to worry about hurting the other person's feelings. 4. No nagging arguments 5. You only have to care and look out for yourself 6.Your free and independant Thats what I come up with, I'm sure you all can think of more.

You know that you found the perfect partner when you do not have to worry about the above. Believe me it is possible, the actual problem is when people "care" to much! You would have to be indifferent/neutral and give your significant other enough space to breathe as she/he was before you met. Of course the other side will have to perceive this as the very important Lebensraum every one needs for himself and not as lack of interest/love.

So long...

	30-07-2002 13:38									#60
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30. No "Because you love me" blackmail.