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Donal Graeme
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California
Jul 2002
time: 21:21
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UNKNOWN SABOTEURS FIREBOMB JUNGLE GAZETTE PRINT SHOP!
I am afraid to announce that there will be no Saturday edition of the Jungle Gazette. Early in the morning today vandals set fire to the Jungle Gazette Print Shop, damaging equipment and supplies. It will take several days to get things running again, with only a 50% chance of repairing the damage in time for the Wednesday edition. This short pamphlet is all that I was able to get out in time. The Apolytonian Authorities have no suspects at this time, but are not ready to rule out action by the French, who have been displeased by much of what the Gazette has said about them. It is said that Joan has a personal grudge against the editor-in-chief of the Gazette, UnOrthOdOx, and we believe she is holding him hostage and torturing him at this time. I can only tell the most important things at this time in the news, with the space provided by this pamphlet.
Elections over, the 3rd Government gets ready to take control.
The following individuals have been elected to the following posts:
President: MisterWhereItsAt
Vice-President: UnOrthOdOx (currently in captivity in France)
Minister of War: UberKrux
Minister of Science: Apocalypse
Minister of Foreign Affairs: Togas
Minister of the Economy: Donal Graeme (Yours Truly)
Minister of Imperial Expansion: Will5001
Minister of Public Works: WhiteBandit
City Planner: GodKing
War with France Liable to Start at any Time!
Embassies Opened with Persia and Greece! Right of Passage Treaty signed with Persia.
Persia Completes a Great Wonder: The Pyramids! Liable to store enormous amounts of Food.
That is all for now. We must trust the Banana that the perpetrators of this fowl act will be caught and punished.
Until next time,
Donal Graeme
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18-08-2002 11:10
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