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St Leo
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Member of the Apolyton Social Democratic Party
Jul 2005
time: 00:22
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A tall figure appeared silhouetted in the hatchway. It walked down the ramp and stood in front of Allard.
"You're a jerk, Höfelt," it said simply.
It was alien, very alien. It had a peculiar alien tallness, a peculiar alien flattened head, peculiar slitty little alien eyes, extravagantly draped golden ropes with a peculiarly alien collar design, and pale grey-green alien skin which had about it that lustrous shine which most grey-green faces can only acquire with plenty of exercise and very expensive soap.
Allard boggled at it.
It gazed levelly at him.
Allard's first sensations of hope and trepidation had instantly been overwhelmed by astonishment, and all sorts of thoughts were battling for the use of his vocal chords at this moment.
"Whh ...?" he said.
"Bu ... hu ... uh ..." he added.
"Ru ... ra ... wah ... who?" he managed finally to say and lapsed into a frantic kind of silence. He was feeling the effects of having not said anything to anybody for as long as he could remember.
The alien creature frowned briefly and consulted what appeared to be some species of clipboard which he was holding in his thin and spindly alien hand.
"Allard Höfelt?" it said.
Allard nodded helplessly.
"Allard Something Höfelt?" pursued the alien in a kind of efficient yap.
"Er ... er ... yes ... er ... er," confirmed Arthur.
"You're a jerk," repeated the alien, "a complete *******."
"Er ..."
The creature nodded to itself, made a peculiar alien tick on its clipboard and turned briskly back towards the ship.
"Er ..." said Allard desperately, "er ..."
"Don't give me that!" snapped the alien. It marched up the ramp, through the hatchway and disappeared into the ship. The ship sealed itself. It started to make a low throbbing hum.
"Er, hey!" shouted Allard, and started to run helplessly towards it.
"Wait a minute!" he called. "What is this? What? Wait a minute!"
The ship rose, as if shedding its weight like a cloak to the ground, and hovered briefly. It swept strangely up into the evening sky. It passed up through the clouds, illuminating them briefly, and then was gone, leaving Allard alone in an immensity of land dancing a helplessly tiny little dance.
"What?" he screamed. "What? What? Hey, what? Come back here and say that!"
P.S. Happy birthday, man. Keep the good stuff coming.
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31-08-2002 05:23
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