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gooberboob
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Poland... I love Poland
Oct 2002
time: 23:23
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Mister Lincoln!!! The DAM IS BREAKING!!!
What the -?
The DAM the HOOVER DAM!!!
Sh*t.
Lincoln awoke, it was only a dream. He always got weird premonitions like this though, the one about him getting shot in the theatre he'll visit next week disturbed him the most, but now he had to deal with the potential dam breakup.
"I want a powerful glue!!"
"What for, Mr. President?"
"To fix the dam when it breaks"
"Which Dam sir?"
"The one I dreamed about!"
"Oh----kay"
"Stop staring at me and get to work!!"
"Yes Mr. President"
Fred Goober walked away to go invent a glue to fix a dam that didn't exist as far as he knew.
---------------
Karin Cox was Fred's onetime schoolmate and longtime friend, she was on her way to see what important government research he was working on this time. As she entered the laboratory, the foul smell of horse parts being rendered greeted her nose, she was used to odd smells here, but never had anything been this terrible.
That was when Fred noticed her in the lab.
"Karin!! I've done it!!"
"Done what? Invented a fouler smell than your socks?"
"No, I invented GOOBERPOXY!!"
"What the heck are you ranting about?"
"I was supposed to make a glue to fix some gigantic dam that Lincoln had dreamnt about."
"So"
"Sooo, I've done it! I call it Gooberpoxy, check this out, follow me."
He led her into the rear warehouse, a building with extremely high cielings which leaked slightly, there was a moist feeling in the room. At the center of the room sat a huge locomotive and a safe was heavily chained to the back of it.
"I just put one miniscule drop of my Gooberpoxy on this safe and watch!"
He put a single drop of Gooberpoxy on the safe, stuck it to the ground, and then turned on high-pressure waterguns pointed directly at the Gooberpoxy.
"Fire it up Mr Engineer!"
Smoke started coming from the Chimney of the locomotive, and the warehouse doors were opened up. The extension of the track gleamed in the sunlight, the Engine began picking up steam.
"Don't let 'er rip until she can't take anymore!!"
The fire in the engine roared, the black exterior of the iron behemoth began to turn red. She was ready.
The Engineer let loose, and Karin watched in amazement as the wheels spun extremely fast in the same position on the track. Contact and torque was soon achieved and they watched as the chains on the safe broke one by one, and the Locomotive Lurched forward with an ear-shattering roar.
"That was great Fred!" Karin was proud of her good friend's achievement.
"Now to take it to the President"
There seemed to be a bright future at hand for Gooberpoxy.
------
what do you guys think? Worth continuing?
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gooberboob
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Poland... I love Poland
Oct 2002
time: 23:23
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Anyway, Fred took his show on the road, a whole ten blocks to the White House. This was it, Fred was preparing himself for instant fame, wealth, glory, and, of course, women. He didn't realize how right he was on that final item.
A similar demonstration was set up in front of the White House, and again, the demonstration was extremely cool and very successful. Lincoln's wife had an exceptional interest in this "Gooberpoxy, " and Fred was not one to dissapoint.
"This way madamme" he gallantly spoke, leading her by placing a hand on her shoulder.
They walked over to the safe, and when Mrs. Lincoln bent down to inspect, Fred came with her. He was stuck to the president's wife. He was, quite literally, stuck. She hadn't noticed it yet, but he dared not pull away, as the glue would easily rip her clothing from her body.
Soon, President Lincoln came along.
"Alright Goober, you've fondled my wife long enough."
Goober stared blankly, still wondering how to detatch himself from this odd situation.
"I said UNHAND my wife Goober!"
Again, Goober stared blankly.
At this, Lincoln stormed over and threw Goober to the ground, Mrs. Lincoln's dress coming along with him.
"You villian!" screamed the president.
"My corset!" screamed the first lady.
"The first lady wears thongs!?" screamed a passerby.
Goober hauled his butt out of there before the cops came, his wonderful invention had made everything bad for him. He went to see Karin.
Karin, seeing him with the dress and looking dissheveled, was somewhat aprehensive about letting him inside, but after a rather comical explaination on the part of Goober, she lost her aprehensions and allowed him entrance.
They cut off as much of the dress as they could, but there was still big black chunks of fabric all over Fred's hand.
"You should probably lay low here for a while, Fred, who knows what sort of crime they are going to charge you with."
"You are right Karin, I'll stay here with you for a while."
-------
What do you guys want to see next? I'm stumped for ideas.
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gooberboob
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Poland... I love Poland
Oct 2002
time: 23:23
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Troops marched through Washington D.C. Lincoln had declared Martial law, and now nobody in the city was safe from inspection.
Goober and Karin were becoming closer and closer during this whole time, even though Karin still had some doubts about Goober's story, and the fabric on his hand served as a constant reminder to her.
They went several days holed up in Karin's apartment, when, one day, two soldiers banged on the door.
"Let us in by executive order of the President of the United States of America!!"
Goober and Karin were horrified, surely, the jig was up. Karin walked slowly to the door, and Goober hid in a closet on the off chance that the soldiers wouldn't search very hard.
Whilst in the closet, Goober got an idea, he still had some Gooberpoxy, and if it could hold a locomotive, surely it could stop two soldiers.
He put some in the latch of the door and then closed it again. He tried the latch, it didn't budge. Now he just had to hope that Karin would cover for him.
The soldiers busted into the bedroom, the time was at hand. They threw off the bedclothes and slashed open the matress. Goose down flew everywhere, the room was thoroughly thrashed. Finally they came to stand in front of the closet.
"I'll bet he's in this closet"
"Probably, open the door"
"The Latch, it's stuck!"
"What do you mean it's stuck? Get out of the way you dunderhead!!"
"Dunderhead?!! Take this!!!"
The soldiers began beating the crap out of each other, the room was in total chaos. The first soldier was bleeding from the nose and the mouth, the second had a patch of hair missing and was bleeding from the right ear. The soldiers were truly angry at each other.
They were extremely evenly matched, and soon both lay breathless and somewhat paralyzed on the floor of the room. Goober quickly broke the closet door down and dispatched the soldiers.
"If you weren't in trouble before, you are now, Goober."
"Darn"
-----
I'm really stretched thin for ideas.... HELP
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Jack_www
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I liked the story, keep the good work up.
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gooberboob
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Poland... I love Poland
Oct 2002
time: 23:23
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"Yes sir, I understand that what I did was wrong....No, I won't touch your wife again...No, I told you already, the bigger soldier wanted to have relations with the smaller one and the smaller one started a fight, and they killed each other."
Goober clicked the battery off his telegraph machine, it looked like he was in the clear, it was time to settle down with Karin, but first he had some Antipoxy to invent, so he set off to his laboratory.
He spent hours toiling in the dankness of his lab, the old horse parts rottng and filling the room with an unbelievable stench, but he kept working as hard as he could, Karin wouldn't marry a man with another woman's garment stuck to him. Goober worked for months with no success, even attempting to burn the garment off, but the poxy was too strong.
One day when coming home with a bottle of milk, he slipped, tripped, and landed, the poxied hand shattering the milk bottle. Dampened and bloody he staggered home and began wiping the milk and blood off of his hand. In minutes the poxy, clothing, and blood were gone.
"I can't believe it was milk, why couldn't it go away with something cool?" Goober pondered.
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Excuse me Mr. President.
Lincoln turned in his seat, slightly annoyed that he was missing the show.
BLAMMM!!!
The President had died.
--------
That is the end of Gooberpoxy, however, there will be a sequel with one of his descendents 
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02-11-2002 22:09
Don't stop. 
I tried to change my own avatar to the angry indian but it wouldn't let me for some reason. I clicked on "submit modifications" and I was ignored like a homeless beggar.
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