05-12-2002 22:02									#1
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I'm still buzzing from the night out, seeing Canada's biggest and my favorite dj Max Graham. Sooooo... I can't sleep, due to a recent turn of events, and just have to share them somewhere

12:30pm I get a rather emotional call, from a lovely sweetheart I know from Vancouver. We got pretty close over my summer trip, and for what reason - I ask fate?

She's pregnant.

It sounds as if I have a little girl due in 5 or so months. I was skeptical at first, didn't think they could determine the sex that early - but then I wondered what the point of an elaborate headgame along these lines would be?

I mean, don't pass judgement too quickly, if you knew me in real life you'd see a face drastically different from what you gather on this hallowed apolyton site. But... I'm 20 bloody years old - what the hell is this???

It was always the plan of course, I would die for a little girl to call my own - a princess to raise, love and protect. This, however, is too early. I have no doubt of the love I (or her, for that matter) can give this child, but what of the life we can supply? Out of school in a good 7 years I'll surely be making 6 figures, but it now seems 7 years too late. So, should I just drop it, start a run of bartending and waiting to prepare and then hope something adequate eventually comes along, or stick it out in the institution?

I have no idea what else to expect in life from this development... Have any of you had children out of marriage?

(Help)

	05-12-2002 22:14									#2
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Do you really think you are at a stage where you and your parnter would be capable of being good parents and raising her well? If not, you may want to recommend adoption, but it's your call to make...

	05-12-2002 22:15									#3
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this is really big

Jon Miller

	05-12-2002 22:16									#4
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Well take out a loan and pay your dues. You will only have twice the debt to pay out when you finish your education.

	05-12-2002 22:16									#5
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how old is the girl?

Jon Miller

	05-12-2002 22:17									#6
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That's what you get for being completely irresponsible. You obviously have no common sense, and its too bad that you are going to subject another human being to being brought into this world into such a terrible situation. But I love how you still come on these boards and brag about the terrible decision you make in life.

Go get a vasectomy before you create any more bast4rd children.

	05-12-2002 22:19									#7
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If you're not going to be constructive, there's no need to say anything at all. He didn't ask for your judgments.

	05-12-2002 22:19									#8
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That's what the world needs, a little Zylka running around.

I wouldn't recommend quitting the career course, but you do have serious conversations in store for you.
A little girl. That's good, Z. Circumstances could be better, but hey...

	05-12-2002 22:20									#9
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov If you're not going to be constructive, there's no need to say anything at all. He didn't ask for your judgments.

He asked for advice on what to do... getting a vasectomy is the best advice I could give. In terms of the relationship situation... I don't know... if he loves the girl, then get married. If not, support her in any decision she makes; emtionally or monetarially.

	05-12-2002 22:23									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Sava That's what you get for being completely irresponsible. You obviously have no common sense, and its too bad that you are going to subject another human being to being brought into this world into such a terrible situation. But I love how you still come on these boards and brag about the terrible decision you make in life. Go get a vasectomy before you create any more bast4rd children.

Spoken like a true Bible Thumping right winger.

Seriously Z, do what ever possible to get the career. But under no circumstances give up all your time that you could have otherwise had with the little princess.

	05-12-2002 22:23									#11
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I have no advice to give. I don't have to worry about such things.

But to be perfectly honest, I have a little doubt as to the honesty of this--he's jerked our chains before many times. Little boys who cry wolf...

	05-12-2002 22:26									#12
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F*ck you, Sava! Zylka is going through a tough time now, he doesn't need those sorts of tirades like you made in your first post. He doesn't need your judgments that he is completely irresoponsible or has no common sense. That added and helped in no way.

	05-12-2002 22:27									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Ogie Oglethorpe Spoken like a true Bible Thumping right winger. Seriously Z, do what ever possible to get the career. But under no circumstances give up all your time that you could have otherwise had with the little princess.

You obviously don't pay attention to these forums. I'm the farthest thing from a bible thumping right winger. If anything, its spoken like a good, moral person who isn't going to blow sunshine up someone's 4ss. Zylka, while morally bankrupt, needs to make a responsible decision here. All that matters is the welfare of that little girl to be.

ps.. you don't need religion to have morals... and likewise, many religious people have no morals.

	05-12-2002 22:28									#14
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It's possible, but not easy, to go to college, work, and raise a kid at the same time. The important thing to remember is that your future education is expendable, but the job is not (since you need cash money to raise a kid). If you wind up getting your degree in 14 years instead of 7 years as a result of your education taking a back seat, so be it.

It's also not the end of the world not to have a college degree. My aunt and her husband both flunked out of college after a year or two, yet they still have salaries that are pretty much equivalent to those of their siblings (one electrical engineer, one dentist, one CPA, and one chemical engineer) 'cause they worked their asses off at their jobs. If you wind up never getting a college diploma 'cause you're busy raising a kid, so be it.

	05-12-2002 22:31									#15
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You're all assuming there really is a little girl. It may be that Zykla's chain is being yanked...again.

	05-12-2002 22:31									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Sava You obviously don't pay attention to these forums. I'm the farthest thing from a bible thumping right winger. If anything, its spoken like a good, moral person who isn't going to blow sunshine up someone's 4ss. Zylka, while morally bankrupt, needs to make a responsible decision here. All that matters is the welfare of that little girl to be. ps.. you don't need religion to have morals... and likewise, many religious people have no morals.

You obviously missed the sarcasm. Hypocrite that you are, you stepped right in the same mind set that you accuse the right wingers of.

	05-12-2002 22:33									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi F*ck you, Sava! Zylka is going through a tough time now, he doesn't need those sorts of tirades like you made in your first post. He doesn't need your judgments that he is completely irresoponsible or has no common sense. That added and helped in no way.

I have every right to tell him how stupid his actions were. And I did offer constructive advice. That little girl should be the entire focus of his actions, because from what he's told us, historically, he selfishly has not given any thought about anyone else other then himself based upon his actions. I'm not going to judge or berade Zylka anymore. I've said what I'm going to say and I'm not going to stoop to your level by using profanity and insulting him.

ZYlka: You are now responsible for another human being. Get your act together and give her every opprotunity to have a good life.

	05-12-2002 22:33									#18
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quote: Originally posted by Sava Zylka, while morally bankrupt

Sava... if you are just going to keep up these personal attacks on Zylka... I would suggest you find another site to post at.

	05-12-2002 22:35									#19
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Oh, sure. Protect Zylka.

	05-12-2002 22:37									#20
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Sava, for whatever reason, has chosen to reply to me with a PM. Because of forum rules, I can't say what he said. So I will just make the general statement that Zylka has gotten himself in a really tough situation, and that I believe we should show compassion and empathy for him. I also do not belive there is much point in passing judgement on him since the act is already done and attacking his past actions will not do any good.



Edit: Ok, I see he has publicly replied too. I don't think telling Zylka he is stupid will do any good and that it isn't constructive in any way.

	05-12-2002 22:38									#21
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I apologize for that statement. His actions are morally bankrupt. I meant to assign that idea to his actions rather than the person. I was wrong in that assertion and I apologize. I just hope you are going to warn Shi Huangdi for this statement

quote: F*ck you, Sava

While I did pass judgement, I want to stress that I'm simply not flaming Zylka. He has a responsibility to that baby, and I just want to make it perfectly clear that his priorities need to change.

	05-12-2002 22:42									#22
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Sava... saying his actions are morally bankrupt is just as bad... It is still a personal attack. You are one post away from a very long restriction.

	05-12-2002 22:43									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Shi Huangdi Sava, for whatever reason, has chosen to reply to me with a PM. Because of forum rules, I can't say what he said. So I will just make the general statement that Zylka has gotten himself in a really tough situation, and that I believe we should show compassion and empathy for him. I also do not belive there is much point in passing judgement on him since the act is already done and attacking his past actions will not do any good. Edit: Ok, I see he has publicly replied too. I don't think telling Zylka he is stupid will do any good and that it isn't constructive in any way.

I PMed you because you swore at me. In life, when you make bad decisions, you have to expect judgement. I'm not going to discuss this further because it's simply spamming up this thread and not helping Zylka or his daughter to be.

	05-12-2002 22:43									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov I have no advice to give. I don't have to worry about such things. But to be perfectly honest, I have a little doubt as to the honesty of this--he's jerked our chains before many times. Little boys who cry wolf...

you ever see junior? think less medical and more gay.

the moral is always use a condom, and always pay your rent and don't be late for work and never break the law cause if you F*CK UP....

YOU'RE ALL ALONE.

first off theres always abortion. ignore the flames. i'm really against it myself but hey, you're a canadian and it's all willy nilly liberal up there. does the girl want the baby? does she want her now? you've expressed that "it's too early" for you. how do both of you feel on the issue?

you said in 5 months, meaning the baby is 4 months, meaning second trimester. you've got what looks like a human being in there. i'm not going to preach or anything to you, i'm not goign to debate where life begins and if the fetus is a person. you dont need that. just remember your options and their consequences.

The truth is harsh. you f*cked up and now you've got to face the equally harsh consequences.

good luck to you Z. if at all possible you should try to stay in school and take some job to get you guys by. you and your wife (i'm assuming you're going to marry her) could both get jobs and try to work out a schedule that doesnt leave the kid with a nanny for 6 hours (that happened to my brother, don't do it). is your girl in college too? if you're not going to get married you do have a responsibility here, and you should pay up.

whats the parents suitation? do they know? do you think they'd be helpful, economically and with raising the child?

sigh... i'm almost glad i'm a sober virgin.

	05-12-2002 22:44									#25
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Zylka:

Do not, under any circumstances, pay any money or take responsibility until you have a paternity test. It's cynical, but it's a reality today that sometimes men will get screwed in matters like this.

If you are the father, then do what you need to.

If you aren't, get as far away as possible from her and assume no responsibility either morally or financially. It sounds harsh, but the family law system is stacked against men and if you take a big part of the kid's life, you will be on the hook for 18 years.

	05-12-2002 22:45									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Ming Sava... saying his actions are morally bankrupt is just as bad... It is still a personal attack. You are one post away from a very long restriction.

I apologize, it was not my intent to attack Zylka. I was simply offering my opinion. I only hope that he will take my advice and think of his daughter.

	05-12-2002 22:49									#27
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quote: Originally posted by UberKruX you ever see junior? think less medical and more gay.

No, don't know what that is. Nor see how it will change my point.

	05-12-2002 22:55									#28
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arnold schwatrzenagger (iu cant spell those crazy austrian names) got knocked up (genetically)

	05-12-2002 23:01									#29
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In other words, Boris, you'd better be worried.

	05-12-2002 23:03									#30
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Z, Just from reading your post I can see you need to start thinking about "us" rather than just about "me."

You should first decide whether you want to marry the girl or just pay child support. If the latter, I would get the paternity test. If the former, asking for a paternity test would really offend the girl.

It will be far less expensive to pay child support than to get married. You may be able to go to school full time and work only part time in this scenario.

If you want to get married, you probably will have to work full time and go to school part time.

Regardless, you now have or will have a daughter. Congratulations.