15-12-2002 05:32									#1
	Crush getting married! Increase Your PM Length

So, here's the thing-- I meet someone really excellent, no beauty pageant winner, but decent, funny, nice, yada yada. One problem. My crush is engaged to get married, and wants me to be the best man, unknowing of my high opinion. What is a boy to do?

	15-12-2002 05:35									#2
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i thought the groom also picked the best man, you sure she didn't want you to be a bridesmaid?

	15-12-2002 05:44									#3
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Huh, the crush is a man.

	15-12-2002 05:46									#4
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Do they have beauty pageants for men? (I know they have contests of that sort, but do they call them pageants?)

	15-12-2002 05:47									#5
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Does it count if it's men dressed in drag?

	15-12-2002 05:52									#7
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I suppose, if that is the type of bride/groom we are talking about here.

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As for advice, I'd be the best man if that was what the couple wanted. Being at the wedding may help with closure, or to pick up someone else (bridesmaid, whatever) to help with closure.

Unless this person had shown some interest in you, in which case... is it true love or just a crush? Just don't be like Ed and ride a horse named crazy willey.

	15-12-2002 05:54									#8
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Yes, o astute one, if it were a woman she would ask me to be a bridesmaid. However, it's a man, and even though he knows I'm gay, he doesn't know that I think he's cooler than cheez wiz (pretty damn cool). I was tempted to tell him what I thought of him, but I didn't want to cause drama... but yet, I've always been very much into being forthright and honest. ARG!

	15-12-2002 05:55									#9
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Falling for straight men is bad news. Don't do it. You will have your heart broken, and it won't be anyone's fault but your own.

	15-12-2002 05:57									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Aeson Unless this person had shown some interest in you, in which case... is it true love or just a crush? Just don't be like Ed and ride a horse named crazy willey.

He's repeatedly insisted that he isn't gay, as is made obvious by his engagement, but he seems hellbent on teasing. Like, we go to a party, bar, etc, get drunk and he gets very affectionate. It's not the usual "flirting" that I do with straight friends... exaggerated lisps, raunchy comments, over-limp wrists. He just gets really touchy-feely. So, I thought... hey, maybe he's reciprocating. But, what the hay, he's getting married so I should just forget about it...... right? Right?

	15-12-2002 06:01									#11
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YES.

He's probably teasing you like that because it makes him feel attractive that a gay guy would flirt with him and it gives him a bit of a power kick. You should probably ask him to cut it out unless he is serious, because it is toying with your emotions.

If he's closted and getting married, that's a whole 'nother can of psychological worms you do NOT want to get enmeshed in. That's all the more reason to avoid a crush.

	15-12-2002 06:01									#12
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov Huh, the crush is a man.

[league of gentlemen] oh, poofter eh[/league of gentlemen]

well if he's getting married then it's pretty obvious he won't be in interested in another guy. best advice i can give is to be the best man for your friend, wish him and his wife well and try and find someone who is a) gay and b) available

	15-12-2002 06:02									#13
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Yeah. That was the conclusion that I reached. But I'm a victim of the killer "what if." Oh well. Thanks.

	15-12-2002 06:04									#14
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argh, bloody crossposts.

	15-12-2002 06:04									#15
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I don't know that I'd act on anything that happened while he was under the influence of alcohol.

quote: right? Right?

Right. Even if he is in the closet, the fact that he's getting married to a female is a sign he's nowhere near ready to come out. Either way, 'right'.

	15-12-2002 06:44									#16
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When the parson says 'Speak now or forever hold your peace' you jump out, tell her how much you love her, kiss her, undress her quickly and you make passionate love to her on the altar as a sign of your undieing passion for her.

	15-12-2002 06:46									#17
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but replace her for him

Jon Miller