18-12-2002 08:16									#1
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I find myself being more and more of an ******* lately. The other day I was talking to my mom and I just didn't wanna hear what she was saying and I just lost my temper all out. I didnt curse at her but I just cut her off and said I had to go. I used to be much more patient than I am now. These days I dont have time to help someone and all I really do is go home. I'm just so tired of poeple sometimes. I'm quicker to judge people than I used to be and I hate being that way, but I just don't have patience with people anymore. Sometimes I'll see something here and it will set me off and I'll write some pretty mean **** in response, but usually I just close the window and move on. And those damn santa smilies just make it worse I think. Yesterday a guy that had been a friend for a long time went on and on and on about something completely stupid and it took everything I had not to beat the crap out of him. My best friend saw that I was getting agitated and changed the subject so I could leave. I'm not violent or anything, I just hate people more. A good deal of them anyway.

Apparently I can still laugh though. The other morning I was getting in my truck to take off and a black cat jump out of a low hanging tree onto the hood. I reved the engine and the stupid thing just stood there. I'm thinking this cat is crazy so I got out and tried to shoe it away and it just walked around and finally when I walked up to it, it jumped off and ran away. That evening I had a flat tire coming home and changed it in the rain. I found myself laughing as I was changing the tire. It was either that or kick my truck and I didn't want to break my foot.

	18-12-2002 08:18									#2
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**** you, you ****ing ****!

	18-12-2002 08:20									#3
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov **** you, you ****ing ****!

Nice that you got into the spirit of the thread

	18-12-2002 08:21									#4
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Seriously, you've been under a lot of stress there year. It's understandable your nerves will be frayed. Once you've gotten a lot of this **** behind you, you will feel better.

And **** you.

	18-12-2002 08:22									#5
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i've just become more of a sarcastic little smart ass, correcting people when they use words incorrectly, making wise cracks at inopportune moments, general insensitivity across the board. But there's nothing rude about that.

	18-12-2002 08:22									#6
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Don't know how old you are Spray, but I can tell you that as you get older, and lazier, patience gets easier to feign.

	18-12-2002 08:24									#7
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov **** you, you ****ing ****!

See my sig.

But to echo Boris' second post, I can see why you'd be a bit short on patience these days.

	18-12-2002 08:24									#8
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quote: Originally posted by orange i've just become more of a sarcastic little smart ass, correcting people when they use words incorrectly, making wise cracks at inopportune moments, general insensitivity across the board. But there's nothing rude about that.

That is a general effect of habitually participating in online message boards, where politeness and decorum aren't particularly appreciated.

Douchebag.

	18-12-2002 08:26									#9
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov That is a general effect of habitually participating in online message boards, where politeness and decorum aren't particularly appreciated. Douchebag.

I've always been a sarcastic smartass for as long as I can remember. It's just easier to do it online.

	18-12-2002 08:27									#10
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia Don't know how old you are Spray, but I can tell you that as you get older, and lazier, patience gets easier to feign.

I'm 28. I went through that and now a lot of the times I just don't give a damn. It sucks cause I always hated those people growing up. When I'm one on one with a person it isn't so bad, but get me in a group and I'm pacing back and forth ready to just leave.

	18-12-2002 08:28									#11
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The knowledge that the individual you are denigrating is not within reach of a punch in the face breeds great, fake courage.

	18-12-2002 08:29									#12
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Very true, Cali, my inbred, sheep-humping comrade.

	18-12-2002 08:31									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Sprayber I'm 28. I went through that and now a lot of the times I just don't give a damn. It sucks cause I always hated those people growing up. When I'm one on one with a person it isn't so bad, but get me in a group and I'm pacing back and forth ready to just leave.

Same age as me. Hey, I'm no wise old sage either (:lol.

One thing I can tell you though - don't hang around with people you hate. I like my Dad a lot more now that there's a planet between us. Best thing I ever did was start travelling.

	18-12-2002 08:33									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Boris Godunov Very true, Cali, my inbred, sheep-humping comrade.

Wanna meet for a beer sometime?

	18-12-2002 08:35									#15
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Stress is no excuse for being rude to the sheep you are humping.

	18-12-2002 08:35									#16
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Back in the day me and my friend would go back and forth calling each other all kinds of terrible names even in the most innocent of sentences and know it's very much civilized. I blame his wife for that


He won't be very happy when he finds out his ex wife has been talking to me.

	18-12-2002 08:38									#17
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Could you be a little more cryptic?

	18-12-2002 08:39									#18
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Well, just a bit of input,
October 21, 2000 was the day my Mom passed away and was the absolute worse day of my 43 year life!

I wish I had not done many things in my Life. I wish I hadnt raised my voice and cussed my Mom as a troubled youth. I wish i could hold her warm loving body and tell her..."ONE MORE TIME" how much she really means to me, but alas I am resigned to in my heart, through prayer to my Lord and strength in knwoing me and her did work this out years ago, its just that well, I am sorry it ever happened.
Vern Gosden, a country singer, had a song out years ago..entitled "Chisled In Stone" and it has a line in it, you dont know lonely, until its chisled in Stone.

My advice, out of Love not scorn or judgementalism,
Is to ask for her forgiveness and take time to humble yourself to anyone you may or may not of harmed.

Just a bit of input, I know nothing special in life, just sharing that that we all fail often and then fail worse when we refuse to humble ourselves.

Have a blessed evening!

Troll

	18-12-2002 08:41									#19
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Troll-
We all get the chance to right our wrongs in the next life. You'll see your Mom again.

	18-12-2002 08:42									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia Could you be a little more cryptic?

I could yes.


About being far away from people. My unit is going to california for a few weeks of training. We were going to egypt but thats off for now. I'm almost dissapointed, but I will get to leave this place behind. I don't want to give the impression that everyone here is bad. There are some really great people but I seem not to be a great person anymore. At least according to a friend today.

	18-12-2002 08:43									#21
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quote: Originally posted by Caligastia Troll- We all get the chance to right our wrongs in the next life. You'll see your Mom again.

Yes, and Thanks, I know My Lord will soon reunite us, and its that which gives me peace!
Have a great day/evening!


Troll

	18-12-2002 08:46									#22
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No offense to my dearly departed loved ones, but if there is going to be some reunion after my death, I still am not wishing for it to happen any time soon.

	18-12-2002 08:49									#23
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I already have guilt over things I should have done sooner. when Becky died this year there was so much left unsaid and undone. So much of it is still on going today. That's why I seem to be in a hurry just to leave it behind.

	18-12-2002 08:53									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Sprayber I could yes. About being far away from people. My unit is going to california for a few weeks of training. We were going to egypt but thats off for now. I'm almost dissapointed, but I will get to leave this place behind. I don't want to give the impression that everyone here is bad. There are some really great people but I seem not to be a great person anymore. At least according to a friend today.

What does your friend know, really? Nobody knows better than you whether you are being the best you can be. Very few of us live up to our true potential, - is he? I doubt it.

I reckon you'll feel more amiable around these people after a bit of a break.

	18-12-2002 09:03									#25
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He doesnt know anything. For about 4 or 5 months I dropped out of sight from most everyone even family. I just didnt want to talk to anyone at all. A lot of my friends took it personally as if I was saying something about them. Me and him were best friends and I just dropped out of sight. He had just gotten married and had a child and I had no desire to see that. Call me selfish but it wasnt something I wanted to see. His ex wife would call from time to time or drop by to see how I was doing. It seemed like her and one or two others were the only ones that understood that I didnt want to talk too much. He took it personally that I dropped out of sight and it hasn't really be then same since. Now I talk to her whenever she is in town. She and him have a daughter together and I used to bring toys to her all the time. It's nothing romantic, its just that she understood and he didnt. They had a nasty separation and I dont think he will understand.

	18-12-2002 09:12									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Sprayber He doesnt know anything. For about 4 or 5 months I dropped out of sight from most everyone even family. I just didnt want to talk to anyone at all. A lot of my friends took it personally as if I was saying something about them. Me and him were best friends and I just dropped out of sight. He had just gotten married and had a child and I had no desire to see that. Call me selfish but it wasnt something I wanted to see. His ex wife would call from time to time or drop by to see how I was doing. It seemed like her and one or two others were the only ones that understood that I didnt want to talk too much. He took it personally that I dropped out of sight and it hasn't really be then same since. Now I talk to her whenever she is in town. She and him have a daughter together and I used to bring toys to her all the time. It's nothing romantic, its just that she understood and he didnt. They had a nasty separation and I dont think he will understand.

Did you tell him that was how you felt? I presume you did. Friends have a way of being possessive sometimes. If a friend doesn't contact me for a while without any explanation I won't go crazy asking myself why, but I would wonder if he was really interested in being my friend.

	18-12-2002 09:14									#27
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quote: Originally posted by Asher I've always been a sarcastic smartass for as long as I can remember. It's just easier to do it online.

me too, but in public I'd usually make those comments to myself internally...i'd only make them out loud when it was a light hearted atmosphere...never in serious ones

	18-12-2002 09:21									#28
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I completely understand Sprayber. There are too many stupid people out there and we are all surrounded by a-holes

	18-12-2002 09:22									#29
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quote: Originally posted by Urban Ranger I completely understand Sprayber. There are too many stupid people out there and we are all surrounded by a-holes

Don't be so rude about it, ya grubby little jackass.

	18-12-2002 09:25									#30
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from what i've read, youre angry..and you have a right to be.
a therapist told me that once when i revealed that i had this ball of rage inside of me that had never been there before...
before you were...anywhere from someone's doormat to a normal guy...and you've ben hurt..alot...
so it's VERY natural to be angry at the WORLD. find ways to vent ..like writing your feelings down, get a punching bag (preferrably not your mother ), take up jogging....it might eventually pass