28-12-2002 21:21									#1
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Ok I suffer from champagnebottleopeningphobia ok?


I fear what will happen if I try to open a champagne bottle. Where will the cork go?

Will it bounce off a wall and right onto my head or eye or hurt some innocent bystander?


Yet, I'm going to have to open a bottle of champagne tonight.

And I'm deadly afraid. Heeeelp me!!!

The way I figure it is, this particular bottle of champagne has been shaken (A LOT) and the corck will shoot out like a bullet from a gun - and whoever dies, dies.


What can I do???


I have thought of these things.

_Getting out on the balcony and opening the bottle there, aiming at the sky.

If something is going to die, it will be a bird or something. I can't be held responsible for that and a bird getting it is better than me or some of the other people that will be in the living room. But I will look completely ridiculous going out on the balcony to open a champagne bottle!


_Give it to someone else to open it. But how can I do that without looking like a complete wuss?

_Open it before they come, in the balcony, but that would seem weird. Having an already opened bottle of champagne.

What am I gonna doooo?

	28-12-2002 21:26									#2
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Open it over a sink, directed towards the wall, looking the other way?

	28-12-2002 21:29									#3
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Do what my friends I did at a party:

Get a bouncy castle (one of those things that you fill up with air and bounce on).

Bounce around with the bottle of champagne until it's near exploding.

Aim at neighbour's roof and take off the cork (this must be done outdoors).

Spray champagne around the bouncy castle, soaking everyone and causing a delicious alcoholic slipperly wet tshirt mess.

	28-12-2002 21:32									#4
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drink red wine

	28-12-2002 21:38									#5
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quote: Do what my friends I did at a party: Get a bouncy castle (one of those things that you fill up with air and bounce on). Bounce around with the bottle of champagne until it's near exploding. Aim at neighbour's roof and take off the cork (this must be done outdoors). Spray champagne around the bouncy castle, soaking everyone and causing a delicious alcoholic slipperly wet tshirt mess.

Amusing

	28-12-2002 21:43									#6
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Ok, Starchild's solution seems the most plausible. All I'm missing is a bouncy castle but that's details

	28-12-2002 21:55									#7
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Nah, just open it and look the other way. It won't hit your eye that way, you big wussie!

	28-12-2002 22:19									#8
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Get a kitchen towel and wrap it round the neck of the bottle as you open it.

	28-12-2002 22:23									#9
	Got spare money?

Just keep the palm of your hand over the top. It won't go anywhere.

	28-12-2002 22:25									#10
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Or just give it to the hands of 5 year old kindergarten girl because you're too afraid! She'll open it.

	28-12-2002 23:16									#11
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Go on the balcony and aim it towards Turkey... maybe you'll get someone .

	28-12-2002 23:41									#12
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Put a towel over the cork and take a firm grip. With your other hand, grasp the bottom of the champagne bottle and twist it (not the cork). The bottle comes off the cork very easily, no muss, no fuss, no flying cork, no spilt champagne.

	29-12-2002 03:32									#13
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Well, I believe in the soul, the c**k, the p***y, the small of a woman's back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days."

- Kevin Costner (as Crash Davis in Bull Durham)



Imran.....i just noticed your signature...
gawd i love that movie..
and thats my favorite line

	29-12-2002 03:38									#14
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Well I'm glad... Hueij liked my old sig (with Susan Surandon's opening quote in that movie) better .

	30-12-2002 18:59									#15
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Thank you for your replies!

Unfortunately I didn't read them.

Before I opened the Champagne bottle that is.


All went ok. I just opened it, pushing it out with my thumb and looking the other way. I hope I didn't look too scared when I did it

The cork must have hit the wall and bounced off it harmlessly. At least I think, because I was looking the other way!

Lots of spilt champagne but everyone went "yeeeeeeee yeah!!!!!" so all went ok

	30-12-2002 20:32									#16
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Was it real champagne, or some cheap fuzzy wine like Cair (bleh!)?

I'll be opening one tomorrow myself. The cork always hits the ceiling. Mechanics says that it will bounce back with an exit angle which is the opposite of the entry angle. You can make an indirect hit on someone you don't like that way...

	30-12-2002 20:35									#17
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It was a french one. Hence the will to open it at my party (for my name).

Dont know much about champanges could have been french AND crap!

Tasted good though.

Champagnia Cair is historical

	30-12-2002 20:41									#18
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Isn't the sale, transport, or use of non-French "Champaigne" the sole remaining crime punishable by the guillotine?

	30-12-2002 20:43									#19
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BTW have you heard the ultimate skyladiko with the inspired lyrics (sang by mitsikostas but he must have copied it from the original singer, mitsi was with long nail on the pingy, golden ring and glamorous shining suit with fur in a parody of the "paratragouda" attraction singers)

and the lyrics go

TzemIs bond
tzemis bond
tzemis bond 8a gino
gia xari sou 8a gino
8a gino tzemis bond

	30-12-2002 20:53									#20
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it surpasses even the other one:

ta matakia sou me kaine
giati eisai manekenE
(last E pronounced)



I try to find them for download. if you have winmx and find one of these do me a favor and let me know.
i want to compile a CD with ageless skyladika


(unrelated with champagne but tora pou se vrika)

	30-12-2002 23:39									#21
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Go outside point the bottle at your downstairs (nasty) neighbor and take off the cork with a deft swipe of a sword. You may not get much to drink but you'll make a 'statement'.

	31-12-2002 19:29									#22
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quote: Originally posted by axi Was it real champagne

Ok here is what is written on the bottle (it survived)


Product of France

Pierre LeGendre

Vin Mousseux (sic! -> sic is mine)

Brut

Elabore par Pierre LeGendre (doh!)

St-Hillaire, St-Florent

(M&L) France


someone who knows about Champagnes could tell us if its any good.

All I know is it tasted pretty good.

	31-12-2002 20:00									#23
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If it's from France, and says its Champaigne, it must be Champaigne.

France takes this very seriously.





















Almost as seriously as Greece takes Feta.

	31-12-2002 21:37									#24
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Like che says above, with the addition of holding the bottle at a 45* angle to minimize foaming up.

I myself enjoy sniping with corks. My specialty is banking it off the wall and ceiling to get someone on the back of the head. The spanins sparkling wine, Frexinet, is notorious for loose corks.

	01-01-2003 07:17									#25
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quote: TzemIs bond tzemis bond tzemis bond 8a gino gia xari sou 8a gino 8a gino tzemis bond

This is an authentic '70s piece. I don't know the artist though. If you compile that CD, then www.apisti.com is a must. (don't follow the adress, it leads to a shitty greek bulletin board - this is the name of the song)
Follow this link instead: http://anekdota.dyndns.org/files/in...-apisti-com.mp3

	01-01-2003 08:15									#26
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You could always do what most restaurants do and but a hand towel over the cork. That way if it flies off it will be caught in the towel and no one gets nailed in the face with a fliing projectile.

	02-01-2003 05:09									#27
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Champagne is nice after all. I've been drinking my bottle all day and i'm about to finish it...

So Paik, isn't that song hilarious? The artist's name is Dimitris (or Dionysis) Starovas, btw...

	03-01-2003 00:43									#28
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yeah ive heard the song, live from some broadcasting, forgot which chanel

it is hilarious. and thanx for the link.
i think these guys must have other songs like that

also, there is some CD from bougas, you know the planitarhis, which have all those type of songs.

i discov tired of writingin englih

ανακάλυψα ότι το τζέμις μποντ είναι δημιούργημα του Μπουγά και ότι έχει ένα σιντι γεμάτο με τέτοια τραγούδια.


μιλάμε για φοβερή πλάκα.


παραμένει άγνωστος ο... καλλιτέχνης/αοιδός του μανεκένε