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Graag
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London
Nov 1999 time: 05:24
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Invoke the spirit, past and future slowly coalesce. Visionary mind, broken and uncontrollable. Building and excited, words are spelling myself. Cold fingers, frozen stiff, the afterthought that happens before I cry out, cold and soulless, lecherous future, scared now and more than before. Mottled coat of old greens and stained brown, dulled and used and never believed in, thematically obtuse and undeserving. Hidden, underneath and naked, goose-pimpled shoulder and back, skin so fresh and clean, scrubbed without perfume or love. Shallow so smooth and engrossing, a wonderful hole to crawl into, a play on my own mind, got me.
Localised yet still destructive, a disruptive influence, fogging and disappearing what sinks before me, we could make a priest to shout obscenities, freaks for little children, with eyes crawling. In a day I am fazed, frozen and I like crazy people, they smirk at me without knowing why, I smile returning, glorious and indestructible, very. Close to holy places, we feel like drunken aesthetics, without clothing only spirits, heartbroken and freezing, knees bent in penitence I canonise thee, calling and crawling. Without knowledge and without hidden feeling, a sumptuous feast there for all, out of my face I believe I am here still.
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Graag
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London
Nov 1999 time: 05:24
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Need for collaborator, myth-making and deconstruction, a magic interval defined only by what surrounds it, moment of forgotten loss and realised flesh, was my goal and aim of my inside wanderings. Thought patterns and devoted followers, mayhem and slinking children offer sacrifices to mattoid mutterings, my heart bleeding open sore, a wound with only half a belief – if only wonder and shyness could live as one, down and down and down some more, moments of pure physicality, expression and cornerstones of joy, a tower opens fire and rampaging morsels floating along riverbed text image design and desire coalesce into underground ideas of mind slaves, wanting and feeling and addicting hapless mortal morsels, done and down and wonder down once more done and forgotten a dream fish flying in rapture without the need for constructive feeling hidden and at once destroyed, underneath the surface of greatly swelling lake front of frozen thawing frozen thawing seaside community of people who live together like animal albatross **** and face, fishmonger displays his warehouse of uncertain principles, a muttering is heard and forgotten travellers passing and falling display my pride in pickled leaves jar frozen and sinking underneath great lake fire.
Nothing is new
Nothing is proved
Possessed and unwanted
A neutral expression belies what I hide
Controlling fear and feeling
Resume telling lies
Disgusting result accepted
An unfortunate coincidence
Placate wonder and dream sense of time, I try to rebuild and kaleidoscopic mountain range beckons, a challenge to conquer and history to be rewritten by though, thoughts above time, thoughts above time. Coexist, understood and backwards, not random and not of linearity, for make-up and dressing words to exist as image, play across the retina a child’s dance. Freedom and literal map wandering soulless devoid of knowledge and belief in time time it is time I live I am time so wherefore are thought and my mind is misplaced not here not today, seeking revolting revolving missing a patterned thought of my own mind of my own mind in anticipation continued through knowledge of historical coincidence learning and juxtaposing creation and framework of destruction I create a structure in order to destroy I pity myself without the desire to believe and show off and impress myself through the eyes of evermore everyone else is dead or insane I forget which but beyond calculation inside the heart of nervous nudity a similar learning can dream itself is what we am, I know, we are, got it.
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