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ruby_maser
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Fear sunshine!
Sep 2002
time: 23:25
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As it gradually becomes more crowded in Pamplona and with no entertainment to speak of, our garrison is, at last, beginning to give under the strain of attempting to quell the disaffected citizenry.
By day, stir-crazy crowds roam the dusty backstreets in search of chickens to chase and women-folk to harass. By night, full-moon fever racks the night air with the inaudible ravings of monkey-drunk barflies attempting to claw their ways home.
Apparently, the cows have been witnesses to the recent displays of hedonism and debauchery and not without some degree of envy, all the while looking for their chance to strike. A local misanthrope, with a penchant for dressing in red from head to toe, was gored to death by a stampede of equally-disaffected bulls yesterday, but not before suffering the added insult of being chased through the streets of Pamplona for nearly ten minutes.
On-lookers said the bulls passed far easier targets than the man in question through the course of their pursuit. "It was as if he had himself a bullseye painted on his back," one man was quoted as saying. No one was amused.
A cursory search revealed the location of the holding pen from which the bulls were freed. Though, an investigation into who might be responsible for releasing them has yielded no suspects as of this time.
On a positive note, citizens seem to have taken to the idea of playing keep away with enraged bulls, and there has already been talk of making this into a semi-millenial event. "The only way we can think of to celebrate this brave, unfortunate man is to mock his misfortune by turning it to a revenue-generating circus," was the Governor's response on the matter.
The squid will flow like wine...
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ruby_maser
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Fear sunshine!
Sep 2002
time: 23:25
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The 2000 BC Running of the Bulls in Pamplona has been marred by tragedy and not unlike every other that has been celebrated before it.
In what can only be described as a careless affirmation of life for a man celebrating 2000 years of life and 1100 years of service to Mother Spain as governor of Pamplona, ruby_maser was found trampled and gored to death this morning in the wake of an all-night drinking binge that ended in disaster with a botched cow-tipping raid on the bull pens near the city's arena.
Friends, who had accompanied the governor to Squidy's that night, reported that the evening culminated in a drunken dare the details of which are still sketchy at best; however, the group was seen leaving soon after and heading to the cultural districts and a fateful rendevous with one p*ssed-off bull. The point of crisis was reached when the party mistook wide-awake bulls for sleeping cows.
Sources have indicated the next festival is not in jeopardy. Though sad and unnecessary, the event has not dampened the spirit of the citizenry. A local merchant, who mourns the loss in his own special way, has gone so far as to immortalize the former governor with a life-like piñata effigy that has been selling well in recent days.
In related news, gubernatorial succession has fallen on the head of ruby_maser's first son, named ironically... ruby_maser! He was spotted just yesterday, in a bid to legitimate his new administration, engaging with local children in a playful spar with one of the very same piñatas. He took the d#$% thing's head off!
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22-01-2003 00:13
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