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ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 02-02-2003 12:19
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The Daily Blueprint, Vol. 2 Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Eerie Calm Lingers in Legoland

Legopolis, 1990 BC: A strange lull of noteworthy events has overtaken the lands of Lego in recent years. Our industrious people continue laboring away dutifuly, and our mighty warriors continue to explore the lands beyond, but to quote one Legoman, "I dunno, there just doesn't seem to be much going on."

Indeed, even the excitement over Angus the Warrior's discovery of a land bridge in the west has grown dimmer after report after report filed in speaking of "naught but sand." Perhaps future reports will have more thrilling items, but the present remains the same.

Even the filthy barbarians skulking around Farmerville seem to have been affected by this malaise. Some say they wander in the fields out of fear for their lives, but many speculate that they just can't garner up enough motivation to actually attack.

"People of Legoland, fear not!" proclaimed Legos the Wise, addressing the growing epidemic of lethargy, "soon our scientists shall have the secrets of traversing the might seas, and I'm sure we'll find something really cool out there somewhere!"

Time shall tell.

Blockball Less Successful than Planned

Jackson, 1990 BC: Local sports coordinator Edvard Cubit has been removed from his post by popular decree after his less-than-dazzling debut of Blockball. Hailed by Cubit as "the sport by which all other sports will be judged," Blockball had its first public exhibition in the Jackson fields.

The sport, played on a 20 yard by 75 yard field, with two goal posts at each end, consists of two teams of 15 attempting to maneuver a 350 lb. cube of sandstone through the opposing team's goal. Teams may push, pull, or throw the cube from player to player in an effort to move downfield.

Crowd expectations were high at first, with much joyous cheering and revelry. However, midway through the first quarter, the crowd quickly turned hostile, jeering and booing the players on the field. By the ten minute mark, Farmerville Thresher's captain Lars Larson had managed a stunning downfield rush of 2.5 feet, but the fans were not swayed.

When the game was delayed after a Jackson Miner's sweeper, Tio Axlerod, sustained a severe concussion attemping a take-away, the crowd showered the field with a hail of rotten fruits and small stones, and the rest of the days proceedings were cancelled. Within hours, local representatives moved to have Cubit escorted out of the city, and all teams disbanded.

"I don't think they gave it a chance; we really poured our hearts into this" commented Larson. "I guess it's back to the fields for me. Once my hernia heals, that is."

Said Axlerod, "What game are you talking about?"

Barbarians: An Inside Look; A Daily Blueprint Editorial

Farmerville, 1990 BC: In a Daily Blueprint exclusive, ace reporter Deanna Quadrangle managed to obtain an interview with Thangronar, former leader of the North Mountain barbarians, now being held in Jackson awaiting trial, once appropriate laws are discovered. Here is the interview, in its entirety:

Quadrangle: Thank you, Mr. Thangronar, for joining me today. I hope to give the people of Legoland a deeper look into what drives a barbarian, and perhaps help us reach an understanding for a greater peace.

Thangronar: Hrrraaar!

Quadrangle: How long have your people lived in the Northern Mountains?

Thangronar: Yaaaaarrgggh! Crush road, crush mines! Crops... burn!!

Quadrangle: Many are curious as to why you choose to burn our crops to the ground, instead of at least seizing them to feed your own people.

Thangronar: [hisses loudly]

Quadrangle: Mr. Thangronar, would you please stop biting my shoe?

Thangronar: [no response, as Thangronar is hauled into a sealed room by the watchful Numidian Mercenaries on guard, and presumably given a stern talking to.]

In conclusion, the Daily Blueprint can assure its readers that the barbarian threat is real, and they should be slaughtered as quickly and mercilessly as possible.

ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 02-02-2003 12:20
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Oh, and of course, this issue is not for the public. Just for our own amusement!

vondrack is offline vondrack

Emperor
Praha, Czech Republic
Jan 2002
time: 06:25
  Old Post 02-02-2003 13:22
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Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

quote:
Originally posted by ZargonX
Oh, and of course, this issue is not for the public. Just for our own amusement!

Marvellous! I can see there are people capable of taking our Chronicle to new heights!

Nimitz is offline Nimitz

King
of the last Realm of builders in Apolyton
Feb 2002
time: 23:25
  Old Post 02-02-2003 20:19
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Inflate your Upload Space

Ohh this is great, funny.

Jack_www is offline Jack_www
King

Donate to the Red Cross
Southern California
Jul 2001
time: 21:25
  Old Post 02-02-2003 23:08
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Suffering from ads?

THis is great. Once I catch up on were our civ is I might think about posting something like this too in hear if that is ok with ZargonX.

Tiberius is offline Tiberius

Emperor
Europe
Jan 2000
time: 06:25
  Old Post 02-02-2003 23:45
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ZargonX, great

How about something for the public, too? About our new President, new government and some funny stuff.

Kloreep is offline Kloreep

Emperor
of the pillow
Jun 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 06:46
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Get a bigger avatar today!

Excellent. Perhaps Blockball would be more successful if the block was hollowed out; we could leave some cylinder shapes on the bottom, and decorate the top with circles.

ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 11:35
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Heh, glad you guys enjoyed it. I will get to work on a public release version, editing out all the info we don't want anyone to know about... I mean, the public forum needs something; it's been kind of dead out there lately..

ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 12:02
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#9 Report this post to a moderator
Remove this text

New Administration Takes Office

Legopolis, 1910 BC: With the dawn of a new millenium, a new administration has risen to power in Legoland following the official ratification of the Magna Chartaginia.

"Our new President, Vondrack, has assured me that he will lead our peoples to a glorious future, and I have the utmost faith that he will do exactly that!" said our glorious leader, Legos the Wise in an interview earlier today.

With the new President, so came a new cabinent of ministers. Assuming the mantle of Military Architecht is Tiberius. Moving into the post vacated by Vondrack, Redstar1 becomes our new Foreign Advisor.

Not all of the ministers were removed from their posts, as Spiffor remains the Enlightened, and ZargonX continues on as Master Builder, as well as taking on the duties of the Vice President.

Commenting on his dual post, ZargonX stated that "as long as they keep both paychecks coming, I'll do whatever my government needs of me."

A small rally was held in the city square of Legopolis to celebrate the new appointments and general appreciation of the democratic process.

Blockball Less Successful than Planned

Jackson, 1990 BC: Local sports coordinator Edvard Cubit has been removed from his post by popular decree after his less-than-dazzling debut of Blockball. Hailed by Cubit as "the sport by which all other sports will be judged," Blockball had its first public exhibition in the Jackson fields.

The sport, played on a 20 yard by 75 yard field, with two goal posts at each end, consists of two teams of 15 attempting to maneuver a 350 lb. cube of sandstone through the opposing team's goal. Teams may push, pull, or throw the cube from player to player in an effort to move downfield.

Crowd expectations were high at first, with much joyous cheering and revelry. However, midway through the first quarter, the crowd quickly turned hostile, jeering and booing the players on the field. By the ten minute mark, Sumerian Aces captain Lars Larson had managed a stunning downfield rush of 2.5 feet, but the fans were not swayed.

When the game was delayed after a Jackson Miner's sweeper, Tio Axlerod, sustained a severe concussion attemping a take-away, the crowd showered the field with a hail of rotten fruits and small stones, and the rest of the days proceedings were cancelled. Within hours, local representatives moved to have Cubit escorted out of the city, and all teams disbanded.

"I don't think they gave it a chance; we really poured our hearts into this" commented Larson. "I guess it's back to the fields for me. Once my hernia heals, that is."

Said Axlerod, "What game are you talking about?"

Barbarians: An Inside Look; A Daily Blueprint Editorial

Jackson, 1990 BC: In a Daily Blueprint exclusive, ace reporter Deanna Quadrangle managed to obtain an interview with Thangronar, former leader of the Hillfolk barbarians, now being held in Jackson awaiting trial, once appropriate laws are discovered. Here is the interview, in its entirety:

Quadrangle: Thank you, Mr. Thangronar, for joining me today. I hope to give the people of Legoland a deeper look into what drives a barbarian, and perhaps help us reach an understanding for a greater peace.

Thangronar: Hrrraaar!

Quadrangle: How long have your people lived in the area?

Thangronar: Yaaaaarrgggh! Crush road, crush mines! Crops... burn!!

Quadrangle: Many are curious as to why you choose to burn our crops to the ground, instead of at least seizing them to feed your own people.

Thangronar: [hisses loudly]

Quadrangle: Mr. Thangronar, would you please stop biting my shoe?

Thangronar: [no response, as Thangronar is hauled into a sealed room by the watchful Numidian Mercenaries on guard, and presumably given a stern talking to.]

In conclusion, the Daily Blueprint can assure its readers that the barbarian threat is real, and they should be slaughtered as quickly and mercilessly as possible.

edit: removed Farmerville

Last edited by ZargonX on 03-02-2003 at 13:34

ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 12:04
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Ok, that's the draft of the public version. The only really key information it gives away is that we have at least 3 cities. I don't know how much need we feel to hide this information, as a)we are alone, and b)I'd think that most teams have at least 3 cities by now anyway. Also, it mentions Num. Mercs, but just in passing. It in no way gives any indication of our actual military standing. So, edit anything out, or take it to the public at large?

vondrack is offline vondrack

Emperor
Praha, Czech Republic
Jan 2002
time: 06:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 13:01
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quote:
Originally posted by ZargonX
Ok, that's the draft of the public version. The only really key information it gives away is that we have at least 3 cities. I don't know how much need we feel to hide this information, as a)we are alone, and b)I'd think that most teams have at least 3 cities by now anyway. Also, it mentions Num. Mercs, but just in passing. It in no way gives any indication of our actual military standing. So, edit anything out, or take it to the public at large?

The only thing I would edit out is the actual name of the Farmerville city (says pretty clearly we've got a city designed to pump out settlers/workers). That is too much to reveal, IMHO. Use Sumerians or just "guests" instead, please.

ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 13:34
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Increase Your PM Length

Ok, removed references to Farmerville.

Tiberius is offline Tiberius

Emperor
Europe
Jan 2000
time: 06:25
  Old Post 03-02-2003 14:16
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Great, Zargon !

lmtoops is offline lmtoops
King
Dallas, Texas
Mar 2002
time: 23:25
  Old Post 04-02-2003 08:55
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Very funny....especially the barbarian interview.

ZargonX is offline ZargonX
Emperor
Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
  Old Post 04-02-2003 09:56
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Ok, if I don't hear any objections in the next several hours, I'll go ahead an publish to the public forum.

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