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ZargonX
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Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:25
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New Administration Takes Office
Legopolis, 1910 BC: With the dawn of a new millenium, a new administration has risen to power in Legoland following the official ratification of the Magna Chartaginia.
"Our new President, Vondrack, has assured me that he will lead our peoples to a glorious future, and I have the utmost faith that he will do exactly that!" said our glorious leader, Legos the Wise in an interview earlier today.
With the new President, so came a new cabinent of ministers. Assuming the mantle of Military Architecht is Tiberius. Moving into the post vacated by Vondrack, Redstar1 becomes our new Foreign Advisor.
Not all of the ministers were removed from their posts, as Spiffor remains the Enlightened, and ZargonX continues on as Master Builder, as well as taking on the duties of the Vice President.
Commenting on his dual post, ZargonX stated that "as long as they keep both paychecks coming, I'll do whatever my government needs of me."
A small rally was held in the city square of Legopolis to celebrate the new appointments and general appreciation of the democratic process.
Blockball Less Successful than Planned
Jackson, 1990 BC: Local sports coordinator Edvard Cubit has been removed from his post by popular decree after his less-than-dazzling debut of Blockball. Hailed by Cubit as "the sport by which all other sports will be judged," Blockball had its first public exhibition in the Jackson fields.
The sport, played on a 20 yard by 75 yard field, with two goal posts at each end, consists of two teams of 15 attempting to maneuver a 350 lb. cube of sandstone through the opposing team's goal. Teams may push, pull, or throw the cube from player to player in an effort to move downfield.
Crowd expectations were high at first, with much joyous cheering and revelry. However, midway through the first quarter, the crowd quickly turned hostile, jeering and booing the players on the field. By the ten minute mark, Sumerian Aces captain Lars Larson had managed a stunning downfield rush of 2.5 feet, but the fans were not swayed.
When the game was delayed after a Jackson Miner's sweeper, Tio Axlerod, sustained a severe concussion attemping a take-away, the crowd showered the field with a hail of rotten fruits and small stones, and the rest of the days proceedings were cancelled. Within hours, local representatives moved to have Cubit escorted out of the city, and all teams disbanded.
"I don't think they gave it a chance; we really poured our hearts into this" commented Larson. "I guess it's back to the fields for me. Once my hernia heals, that is."
Said Axlerod, "What game are you talking about?"
Barbarians: An Inside Look; A Daily Blueprint Editorial
Jackson, 1990 BC: In a Daily Blueprint exclusive, ace reporter Deanna Quadrangle managed to obtain an interview with Thangronar, former leader of the Hillfolk barbarians, now being held in Jackson awaiting trial, once appropriate laws are discovered. Here is the interview, in its entirety:
Quadrangle: Thank you, Mr. Thangronar, for joining me today. I hope to give the people of Legoland a deeper look into what drives a barbarian, and perhaps help us reach an understanding for a greater peace.
Thangronar: Hrrraaar!
Quadrangle: How long have your people lived in the area?
Thangronar: Yaaaaarrgggh! Crush road, crush mines! Crops... burn!!
Quadrangle: Many are curious as to why you choose to burn our crops to the ground, instead of at least seizing them to feed your own people.
Thangronar: [hisses loudly]
Quadrangle: Mr. Thangronar, would you please stop biting my shoe?
Thangronar: [no response, as Thangronar is hauled into a sealed room by the watchful Numidian Mercenaries on guard, and presumably given a stern talking to.]
In conclusion, the Daily Blueprint can assure its readers that the barbarian threat is real, and they should be slaughtered as quickly and mercilessly as possible.
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04-02-2003 21:15
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