05-02-2003 04:08									#1
	Story thread Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

I am by no means a writer. I actually consider myself a poor writer . But that doesn't mean I don't have the inclination to do it sometimes. I do all kinds of things I'm not good at- like basketball . I love that game.

Anyways this was something I was considering putting in the PTW main forum. Nothing too revealing. Just the names of our warriors and a very vague description of the land. I need a spell checker too. I'm too lazy to check this spelling. I'll get around to it sometime.

The small group of ragged humans huddled in a dark cave away from the ravaging wind and lightning. There must be a better way cried out one!. Roaming from place to place huddling in caves like an animal. Yes we may be animal too, but surely we must be better than this?

Through the long night the small group came up with a plan. Why pursue our individual needs solely they said? Often our interests are common. We can have less waste if we banded together and performed our actions as one. One Voice cried out another!. We shall be as The Voice they all agreed. And we shall call ourselves Vox Controli.

When the storm cleared and the new sun rose above the horizon the small group set out. Many had realized that with the combined effort of the skills they already knew; they could build roads and irrigate the land. No more moving from place to place in search of plants and animals. They could raise animals and grow crops. And with this primitive knowledge of tools they could build structures to live in.

The band of humans worked all day and into the early night. Soon primitive dwellings were erected. Home said one. Home is what we call this place. It is a new word in our growing language. I'm sure there will be many more words to come.

Soon the people of the Voice came to the realization that their nation was special in a way. Some of their craftsmen had amazing ways to work metallic objects. They could form a metal called Bronze which was much more useful than rocks for tools and weapons. They built a glorious town with this technology. Yes that is the word that they would use.

One day a young teenage lad of the Voice climbed a hill overlooking the grassland. He noticed a wonderful thing. More grassland!. The elders of the village had some ideas mulling about their heads. Already the men and women have produced many offspring. They have produced young adventurous men that were good with stone and bronze weapons. Many were called warriors. Willy was one of the first to lead a small group of these "warriors". The elders instructed him to set out and explore the surrounding land. Perhaps there was greener pasture out there. Better land that could grow even more crops and sustain even more animals.

So just before sunrise Willy and his team packed up all they needed and set out accroos the grasslands and hills. First they decided to head west to the land where the sun goes after it passes over The Voice. They came to a place with much water. They celebrated immediately. Many ran up and drank directly from the water. They soon came to realize this water did not quench their thirst like water from their home or from steams along the journey.

Willy decided to head in a direction from his left shoulder. Perhaps this could find better land and hopefully better water. Willy came accross different kinds of land. Plains which did not have many trees, but could grow grasses of many kinds. And even small areas of land that had so little rainfall only small scrawny shrubs could grow. Willy called this area a desert. Because it was deserted of virtually all life.

Willy while strong, still had decent head on his shoulders. He began to wonder if there were other people like his people out there. Could such a thing be possible? I must send a runner to the elders to figure out what to do.

Back in the Voice the elders had a town meeting. The population was exploding. Which was good. They felt the town had plenty of room to grow. But with all this land they said, we could divide up and make other towns. But one of the elders said it was too risky. More warriors need to be sent out to explore other areas of the land. There could be savage beasts out there. So more young lads were recruited and sent out. Tim was the next brave man to lead a squad of warriors out of the town. Next was Thadius, an orphan, but one of the bravest people the towns people have ever seen.

The elders sent the runner back to Willy. They instructed him to continue on the direction he is heading. Perhaps he is right, and they may find others. The elders knew Willy was very trained at living off the land. And while he had no female companionship, they formed another kind of bond with his fellow warriors. They called this male bonding. They knew that even without female companionship they could continue travelling for many years in that direction. And that they did.

	05-02-2003 08:56									#2
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Diss . Great start! Yes - some spelling an grammar errors (I do a lot of writing in my job ). But well told.

(I can edit if you like.)

But, dam, I was hoping for some female companionship there near the end.

Was wondering if you wanted to work some of the earlier 'religious' readings into it - or I was thinking I should just continue them as need be, and they can form a companion piece to yours - sort of like a reference text. Something you can refer to every now and then.

Anyways - good stuff. I enjoyed it!

(The only thought about posting it is that you mention streams, which GS may intepret as us lying to them. We had indicated we had a lake, and maybe if you stick to that, it should be fine.)

	05-02-2003 23:59									#3
	Put an end to popups!

yeah I didn't want to mention rivers. I may touch it up some more. I'll call them springs.

I'm not sure how to incoroporate religious text into that. I'm not religious enough to know the literary style. I may think of something though.