24-02-2003 09:48									#1
	It's no good in the living room. Enter the AD-FREE zone

My wife, her dad and myself just returned from a trip up the coast to a larger town an hour and a half away. We hit some stores, wandered around a bit and headed home. Got into the house and when my wife got out I headed for the bathroom. She flipped on the TV which was set to the history channel. A bunch of GIs were fighting heavy seas while loading into a landing craft. I stopped. The commentator said "blah blah 1943 on the coast of" 'click' The wife had found the channel control on the remote. I started towards the bathroom again. The guy that played Popeye in 'The French Connection' yeah, the famous one, can't recall the name, getting senile...anyway, he was acting up a storm, a great actor...had that gleam in his eye like something was up, things were happening. I stopped. He was saying something, the gist of which was...'click'. I started. A girl in her early 20s was belting out some song of love or heartbreak, whatever. The wife stuck on that as the bathroom door shut. As I sat there doing my business the singing girl was squeezing every bit of drippy emotion out of whatever it was. Gawd. Finally I ducked outa there and into the bedroom where we keep the computer. I shut the door so I can't hear what's on in there. It's no good in the living room.

Gene Hackman!

Anyway guys, gotta have a place to go to get away from the fairer sex, absolute must have...

	24-02-2003 09:50									#2
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I prefer the shower. The bed is ok, but it gets kinda boring after a while.

	24-02-2003 09:58									#3
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Orange, that reminds me. Heading down some dirt road in Germany in a mortar APC w/ the top open when it starts to rain. Myself and a couple of guys have our heads up and are enjoying the scenery. One of the guys says; "you know, I jerk off in the shower so much that now every time it rains I get a hard-on." Oh we laughed!

Turns out it was an old joke...but new to us.

	24-02-2003 10:00									#4
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The trick is to date girls with really good taste.
The very first girl I truly fell head-over-heels in love with, we used to talk about Pink floyd and vinyl in gym class. It was heavenly, when it lasted.
But sometimes it doesn't...

	24-02-2003 10:21									#5
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quote: Orange, that reminds me. Heading down some dirt road in Germany in a mortar APC w/ the top open when it starts to rain. Myself and a couple of guys have our heads up and are enjoying the scenery. One of the guys says; "you know, I jerk off in the shower so much that now every time it rains I get a hard-on." Oh we laughed! Turns out it was an old joke...but new to us.

see, now i just jerk off in the rain, and I always seem to get hard ons in the shower

	24-02-2003 10:33									#6
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Orange!! Really!

Lancer don't feel alone. Steve has turned our spare bedroom into the computer/media room. He goes in there and closes the door and flys planes online. All you can hear is the boom as the bombs drop or he crashes a plane

The only problem is he got this new game Starfleet Command 3 and I've gotten hooked on it!

	24-02-2003 10:53									#7
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monolith, I never tried to find a girl I had much in common with. My tastes change too much. What if you do find the girl that likes the bands you like, but then you start likeing something else and she doesn't...You've changed! You never listened to German 18th century folk music when we started going out! Young people have to relate to some fuzzy thing called 'cool' also. If one of you gets into something that the other doesn't consider cool, well...finis! Plus she'll tell all her friends who are 'cool' exactly why you aren't, and they'll all look at you like you're something slimey stuck to the bottom of their sneaker. Or visa versa...she'll start finding her spirituallity in orange robes dancing like an idiot in airports, you just want to listen to Pink Floyd and smoke pot until 'The Wall' seems to be speaking just to you...

Anyway, I forgot what I was on about, but am fairly sure you're fukt.

Tia, Dolores was playing Mario Brothers on a handheld portable for a while, was absolutely hooked, then just put it away and said "enough of dat, it takes my time, I have no more time" Hasn't touched it since. I'm so proud of her. She better not touch my Civ game tho.

	24-02-2003 11:57									#8
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quote: Originally posted by Tiamat Orange!! Really!

Why? Turn you on?

	24-02-2003 12:30									#9
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Maybe

	24-02-2003 13:42									#10
	Suffering from ads?

I love sex in any room

	24-02-2003 18:40									#11
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Lancer - there's a difference between going out with girls with good taste and going out with girls who like a couple of similar things...

	24-02-2003 19:05									#12
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Imagine, if you dare, a world in which the premium TV entertainment is a purple dinosaur who sings songs about sharing, the weather, how to play nice, etc. You saw Gene Hackman? In the daytime? Wow!

Imagine actually listening to the lyrics of your favorite tunes for the first time in years, and then having to turn to NPR or talk radio* because you sure as hell don't want your little girl to repeat "we made love in my Chevy van, and that's all right with me."

Imagine a world with true censorship, where entire subjects and over a decade's worth of body language has to go out the window because "little pitchers have big ears" and "John! Not in front of Sophie!" (said when I pinched the missus' butt ). I've actually learned that censorship is not about the removal of words, it's about the removal of subjects.

Imagine a world with a toddler. Imagine fearing that your little girls first word could very well be "fu**" because that's what you screamed out when your wife closed the door on your hand. Imagine realizing that all the TV you enjoyed, even the WW2 documentaries, are not really all that appropriate for an 18 month old. Imagine actually looking forward to SpongeBob SquarePants because it can be funny. Imagine realizing that you're going to have to do this for the next 10+ years.

Oh, Lancer, you have it sooooooo easy! You're wife was watching a show featuring actual adults singing adult words about adult relationships? Please, in memory of us with infants, toddlers, and young children don't waste those precious moments.

*You ever wondered why your dad listened to talk radio or sports all the time? It's the only radio clean enough for the kids.

Last edited by JohnT on 24-02-2003 at 19:11

	24-02-2003 19:20									#13
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I don't think a toddler knows what **** means, so there is no harm anyway

if he sees a WWII documentary, he won't fully understand what's happening, so who gives a damn... it's only when they develop rational thinking that you gotta make sure they don't get a fu*k shouted in their ears every 5 seconds

	24-02-2003 19:24									#14
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i hope my childs first phrase is "**** libertarians"

	24-02-2003 20:27									#15
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Yup. The first two answers are obviously by non-parents.

Trajanus - Picture this:

The baby yelling "****" at the Christmas Table
The baby going "****...****... ****... ****..." repeatedly, ad nasueum, because that's the word they are stuck on today.
etc.

Anybody with any experience with children is aware that it is COMPLETELY irrelevant that they actually know what it means.

MRT - Methinks your wife will differ. Me also thinks your wife will win that argument.

	24-02-2003 20:50									#16
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Now why didn't this get bumped when I posted?

	24-02-2003 20:56									#17
	Got spare money?

So where is this place you're talking about John? Saudi arabia?

	24-02-2003 21:01									#18
	Suffering from ads?

Because no one cares about your whining. You have a child, and that is a gift.
Seriously. Why have them watch Barney when they could watch an infinitely cooler show, like Mr. rogers or sesame street?
Sesame street isn't as good as it was in its heyday, but it's still damn better than Barney. hell, I can watch sesame street even now and still be entertained. "Batty batty batty bat, batty batty batty batty bat batty batty batty batty bat! 1-2-3 1-2-3!"
That's like, wicked cool man!
Plus, you want to start your kids on the good literature as soon as possible. My parents were reading to me at a very early age! Mark Twain, robinson Crusoe... etc.

	24-02-2003 21:05									#19
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my wife will win every arguement. this i know.

	24-02-2003 21:14									#20
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"Guys' hobbies are doing things that girls hate. This is our way of getting away from them. Girls' hobbies are doing things that guys hate. The problem is, they drag us along and make them do too." ... Jimmy Kimmel

	24-02-2003 21:22									#21
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Like what?

	24-02-2003 21:24									#22
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Shopping.

	24-02-2003 21:41									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Kropotkin So where is this place you're talking about John? Saudi arabia?

It's a place called "Parenthood." Abandon all Hope, ye who enter!

	24-02-2003 21:46									#24
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quote: Originally posted by monolith94 Because no one cares about your whining.

And this rude response wasn't given to Lancer, why? Please inform me - I'm quite interested.

quote: Why have them watch Barney when they could watch an infinitely cooler show, like Mr. rogers or sesame street? Sesame street isn't as good as it was in its heyday, but it's still damn better than Barney. hell, I can watch sesame street even now and still be entertained. "Batty batty batty bat, batty batty batty batty bat batty batty batty batty bat! 1-2-3 1-2-3!" That's like, wicked cool man! Plus, you want to start your kids on the good literature as soon as possible. My parents were reading to me at a very early age! Mark Twain, robinson Crusoe... etc.

Huh-huh. I guess the fact that Barney is aimed more at the 1-3 year old set and that SS is aimed at the 3-8 year old set is irrelevant to our 15 month old. Oh, wait: It is our job as parents to manufacture geniuses by force-feeding them info that they don't have a chance in hell of comprehending. Sorry, I forgot: tonight, Sophie tackles Plato!

	25-02-2003 05:20									#25
	Put an end to popups!

As JohnT knows, there is a thing called 'Age Appropriate" and if you spend a lot of time teaching your kid Plato at 15 months you wind up with a Plato spewing toddler that can't do other stuff like make friends and share toys. Wonderful.

Sure Doogy Howser went to med school, but he was at freakin' dork!


My wife and I have an agreement on decision making. She makes all the little decisions and I make all the big decisions. So far she has decided that everything has been a little decision, but I am hoping she gives me a chance some day!

	25-02-2003 05:23									#26
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sten, im going to adopt your way of decision making!

	25-02-2003 05:24									#27
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the wife says it is okay with her...

	25-02-2003 05:29									#28
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quote: Originally posted by Zkribbler "Guys' hobbies are doing things that girls hate. This is our way of getting away from them. Girls' hobbies are doing things that guys hate. The problem is, they drag us along and make them do too." ... Jimmy Kimmel

"Women ruin everything" - Bill Simmons, one of Kimmel's writers, IIRC.

	25-02-2003 05:32									#29
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And what exactly was it that you would do with out us again......?

	25-02-2003 05:34									#30
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i agree with monolith. The earlier you can educate your children, the better. Especially reading. Not saying that JohnT is wrong...obviously there are many skills necessary at each age bracket, but the earlier they start learning the better