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Ninot
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Centre Bell
Nov 2001
time: 00:26
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Short of Betraying Togas and Spain is the second short story of Ninot's sentence
There was once a man named Juan Jalepeno, who owned a shop in Pamplona.
It was a pepper shop, where people would come to buy peppers of course. Juan had all kinds of peppers, from red peppers, to doctor peppers.
No one in town liked Juan's peppers. He didnt really know how to grow them appropriately, applying the fertilizer after he picked them. But people, poor and with a desire to stray away from mud and woodchips (their regular diet), would dine on his peppers occasionaly, as he was the only pepper salesman in town. No mater how bad things got, Juan always had the security of knowing hed make more money than the local squids salesman, because everyone knew squid is the food of the devil
One day, when applying his fertilizer, Juan heard excitement coming down the street. No, it wasn't another trial gone wrong, it was a proclamation being declared. Juan dropped the fertilizer and ran up to the crowd to hear what he could.
The Governor shouted "All you peasants, I have good news. The Great Lord Togas is coming to town, to see what we have made of this settlement. It is a part of his empire tour, and word has it if he likes us, he might consider moving the palace to this location one day. Wouldn't that be grand? I expect you all to be on your best behavior, and maybe to find a puddle to bathe in so the town doesnt reak of peasants so much. I'll be hiring three local food merchants to provide The Great One with a feast. If any of you are interested, report to my palace at sunrise tommorow.
Juan was terribly excited now. He knew very well he was the only pepper man in town. With confidence that few other vendors could make a food like him, Juan set about making the best assortment of peppers available to him, with extra fertilizer of course.
At sunrise the next day, Juan was at the Palace entrance with his bag of fine peppers. Along with him was the towns best Woodchips and Mud man, A Squid man, and a man with what seemed to be a bundle of yellow things he called Bananas.
Juan was confident he could be picked over either the Squidsman or the Bananaman with his peppers. But upon opening his sack, he saw there was no fertilizer in the bag. "How is this?" he asked in horror. "One of my wives must have stolen the fertilizer for her flower garden. I'll have to stone her when I get home"
To his suprise, Juan was picked over the Banana man. But now his horror was greater. If the secret ingredient to his peppers was not present, how could Togas ever appreciate it? He would surely be hung for some kind of treason.
At the great hall of the Palace, Juan and the other two vendors waited nervously for Togas to enter and eat the feast. When Togas entered, they all kissed his feet and resumed their position by the firepit (for easy death, if need be).
Togas first tried the woodchips and mud. He said "This is not very tasty, and it hurts the mouth to chew. But as it is the main staple of the town, it is acceptable."
He then tried the squid. He declared "This squid is positively disgusting. But as some fanatics back in Madrid think it is of some value, I suppose it isnt too bad that Pamplona have squid too. It is acceptable, for now. But I am uninpressed on the whole. This is supposed to be a feast. So far, it is a joke. If the next man does not prove himself worthy of my presence, the town will be raised.
Juan was shaking in his rags now. Without the maneur, the peppers would taste horrible, and perhaps anger the Great Togas to a point of death (the Togas family having a bad medical history with deaths of course). He wanted to pull away his food, but he knew that would be worse. Any way about it, Juan was sure he would be labeled a treasoner for what Togas was about to bite into.
Togas grabbed a small, fiery red pepper. He said at first "Well this food has one good element, it sure is pretty".
Togas popped the pepper into his mouth, and bit down hard. At first, his eyes seemed to want to bulge, and his face turned a good shade of red. After coughing a bit, and making Juan produce some fertilizer on the spot, Togas said "this food is quite spicy and hot, and it is the most exciting thing i have ever sunken into. Why, I think i'll take a few bags of this back to Madrid, to make all my foods more interesting. Well done!"
Juan didnt know quite why Togas liked the food, but suspected he was weird to do so without the extra element. But from then on, his friends always bugged him with one phrase:
"Juan, you were a bullshit short of betraying Togas and Spain"
Ninot
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25-02-2003 00:19
I am more eloquent in the afternoons... or less dispeptic anyway 
good story, Señor Ninot
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