26-02-2003 09:07									#1
	Ask The (relatively) New Dad. Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Haven't the slightest idea if these type threads are against the rules, or even if they've been done here before. If I am violating some sort of Holy Commandment, please be kind: my baby needs me.

So... any of y'all have any questions in regards to kids/parenting/becoming a Dad? I'll answer them to the best of my ability.

	26-02-2003 09:10									#2
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I thought of a lot of questions to ask, but none of them would keep me from getting banned.



ACK!

	26-02-2003 09:12									#3
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Huh?

Oh!

I'm sure you can... you know... phrase them creatively.

But, if I'm correct in what your filthy little mind is thinking... the sex is as good as ever.

	26-02-2003 09:14									#4
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT Huh? Oh! I'm sure you can... you know... phrase them creatively. But, if I'm correct in what your filthy little mind is thinking... the sex is as good as ever.

I know, I have 4 kids myself......

Sleep was always a ***** the first few months.

ACK!

	26-02-2003 09:38									#5
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Can I have the car tonight?

	26-02-2003 09:40									#6
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No. Last time I let you borrow the car, it came back smelling like semen.

	26-02-2003 09:40									#7
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Where do babies come from?

	26-02-2003 09:41									#8
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This one came from my wife.

Next!

	26-02-2003 09:56									#9
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JACK BAUER WANTS TO KNOW WHERE THE **** THE BOMB IS?!?!?!?!??!?!

	26-02-2003 10:00									#10
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IT'S IN LA!!!!!!

	26-02-2003 10:09									#11
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WHERE IN LA DAMMIT!?!?! MILLIONS WILL DIE!!!

*Breaks out the electrocution device*

	26-02-2003 13:13									#12
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Should "outies" be illegal? They are kinda freaky lookin' and somebody could lose a lunch.

	26-02-2003 14:02									#13
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Are 'Toolio' and 'Kakinston' good baby names?

	26-02-2003 14:08									#14
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how do you get the hampster out of the babies butt?

	26-02-2003 14:11									#15
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I have a question.

How are you supposed to make babies?

My wife an I have been trying for almost 2 years now with no success. Is there something special you are supposed to do (other than the obvious).

	26-02-2003 15:44									#16
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quote: Originally posted by JohnT This one came from my wife. Next!

	26-02-2003 16:03									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Rogan Josh Is there something special you are supposed to do (other than the obvious).

Have sex on day 14 of her cycle. And you have to just enjoy it, not keep thinking "I've got to make a baby, I've got to make a baby..." the whole time. All that does is distract you from getting the job done; if you're trying too hard (no comments, people) it never seems to work. Have a couple drinks first and just enjoy yourself.

3 for 3 using the above.

	26-02-2003 16:08									#18
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So, what on earth possesses people to have children? I'm the oldest of four, and I get the impression from my parents that me and my younger siblings are a constant source of anguish for my parents. Which begs the question; why did they decide to have us? What is it about children that is so fantastic that it cancels out all the crap you have to put up with from them?

	26-02-2003 16:09									#19
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Stupid back button on the stupid browser results in stupid double post minutes later.

	26-02-2003 18:11									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Paul Hanson So, what on earth possesses people to have children? I'm the oldest of four, and I get the impression from my parents that me and my younger siblings are a constant source of anguish for my parents. Which begs the question; why did they decide to have us? What is it about children that is so fantastic that it cancels out all the crap you have to put up with from them?

You get to harangue them about what pains in the asses they are.

	26-02-2003 18:27									#21
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quote: Originally posted by Stuie Have sex on day 14 of her cycle.

I was counting that in 'the obvious'.

quote: And you have to just enjoy it, not keep thinking "I've got to make a baby, I've got to make a baby..." the whole time. All that does is distract you from getting the job done; if you're trying too hard (no comments, people) it never seems to work. Have a couple drinks first and just enjoy yourself. 3 for 3 using the above.

Hmm, yes - I do tend to be motivated by the baby rather than the sex nowadays. Next time I will try the drinks. Thanks

	26-02-2003 19:00									#22
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Not necessarily obvious to some; I thought "obvious" was more along the lines "You have to have sex with your wife." My wife and I tried for almost two years before having our first, so I know what you're going through. Finally happened for us when we were moving across country in a U-Haul and decided to "de-stress" one morning in the hotel room. Getting pregnant was the furthest thing from our minds. And BAM, it happened.

	26-02-2003 19:17									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Straybow Should "outies" be illegal? They are kinda freaky lookin' and somebody could lose a lunch.

Not really.

	26-02-2003 19:21									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Stefu Are 'Toolio' and 'Kakinston' good baby names?

Toolio: with a name like that, you know your child is going to sing "...Been spendin' most of our lives, living in a Finnish Paradise..."

Kakinston: You want to name your kid after a third world country?

	26-02-2003 19:30									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Paul Hanson So, what on earth possesses people to have children? I'm the oldest of four, and I get the impression from my parents that me and my younger siblings are a constant source of anguish for my parents. Which begs the question; why did they decide to have us? What is it about children that is so fantastic that it cancels out all the crap you have to put up with from them?

Well, remember that cute, adorable Sophie is but 16 months old, so a lot of the "irritating" things she'll do haven't been done yet.

I can't speak for your parents, though I am sorry you feel that way.

As for us, it was just kind of like "Well, I guess we're ready to have a kid." We put it off for a while (Sophie was born when I was 34, mommy 32) so that we would be able to raise her in the manner in which we see fit (meaning with a stay-at-home mother and no daycare except for the occasional "mommy's morning off" programs).

The weird thing is, Paul, is that we just don't love Sophie, we've fallen in love with her. I really have no concept of feeling "anguish" towards her... but then, like I said, she's just a baby.

	26-02-2003 19:32									#26
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john, wait till shes 16 and seducing guys like me

	26-02-2003 19:35									#27
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Will you give her a sibling ?

	26-02-2003 19:39									#28
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quote: Originally posted by Rogan Josh I have a question. How are you supposed to make babies? My wife an I have been trying for almost 2 years now with no success. Is there something special you are supposed to do (other than the obvious).

Like Stuie said, you're better off relaxing and, well, enjoying the ride. I've heard a lot of stories like Stuie's - parents are stressed about having a kid and it doesn't happen. Then, something else happens in their lives to take their mind off the issue, and BAM! Rugrats galore. And, as far as this particular issue is concerned, I never heard about parents stressing about having subsequent kids after they've had the first.

Think of it this way: you've been trying for two years, but what that really means is that you've only had (so far) 24 chances.

If it is a big worry, why not schedule some fertility tests for you and the missus?

Good luck!

	26-02-2003 19:41									#29
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Btw, Rogan, Laura and I never worried* about if she could or couldn't even though the missus had a couple of bad bouts with endometriosis.

*Well, I never worried. Laura worries about everything.

	26-02-2003 19:47									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Spiffor Will you give her a sibling ?

We don't know. The usual cliched and likely dichotomistic emotions are prevelant in our house: "Sophie is sooo good, you know we're going to get burned with #2." "But having a sibling would give Sophie a regular playmate." "But now she gets as much attention as she needs" "Well, I had siblings and I turned out OK"* "Yeah, but I was an only child and I turned out better"**

If we do have number 2, it won't be for another year or so unless the birth control fails. (Raps repeatedly and loudly on wood!)

* said by me.
** said by Laura. With a smile, of course.