03-03-2003 04:21									#1
	Is accepting facts giving up? Support Apolyton, buy Call to Power 2

I've been doing some thinking about myself. I've been trying very hard .. but maybe I should just accept some facts here. I will never get the money to be able to study in the US. I've been lying to myself that it's possible and will happen if I just try hard enough. Everything would be possible. What if 'prepare yourself for the worst, and the best thing will always happen' is just a saying?
I always saw myself there, no matter what happens, I would make it. Maybe it's time to accept the fact, that it will never happen. That pisses me off. Makes me unhappy.

Maybe I should accept the fact, that I will never serve in the US army. I'd be too old to join after all the work needed. Won't be happening. Life is not fair even if you wanted it to be, maybe I should just accept it.
I always thought when you get knocked down, you should just pick up the pieces left and keep going to new direction, try harder, learn from mistakes.. But there won't be endless opportunities, if you know what you want and you know the way to get it, and know it's near impossible.. maybe I should just accept it. But it makes me very unhappy.

Also I should accept the fact, that I may not ever find my soulmate, never. Might happen, but it's possible I'll be without soulmate for the rest of my life. Maybe I will never find any person who is there for me, knows what I need or feel. It's possible. I should accept the fact, that the fact that no one has ever asked me 'how do you feel' is not changing. I'd like to think otherwise, because it would make me very unhappy, but there are no guarantees in life. Maybe I should just stop living in fantasy world where my needs are met and where I'll be able to do the things I want to do. It's unhealthy to keep hanging on to these for too long. Of course accepting it woudl also mean doing things you don't enjoy or be happy or satisfied, but hey, life is not fair always.

Maybe I should just stop caring about it, and go on with my life.. direction unknown, future unknown, but I can't keep going this way, because it's not getting me anywhere, and I have already flushed 3 god damn years down from the toilet already. Believing yourself is cool, but it's also good to believe the facts some day. It hurts, but maybe I should stop caring about it..

so my question to you.. is accepting facts giving up? I can't give up. Never.

	03-03-2003 04:24									#2
	Increase the size of your Attachments

People who don't accept facts are the ones who change the world.

	03-03-2003 04:24									#3
	Remove this text

In this instance, it's giving up.
If possible to get more facts, an idea, anything, I will.
Don't give up. People get here every day.

	03-03-2003 04:27									#4
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

People climb on rickety boats and brave sharks to get here. Some make it, some don't. Some spend thousands of dollars to cross the desert with no water. Some pay to live in a storage locker on a tramp freighter for a month.

How badly do you want to come?

	03-03-2003 04:31									#5
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Maybe I can work a trade.
You for Chegitz, David Floyd, and a Sava to be named later.

	03-03-2003 04:33									#6
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

I'm not giving up, that's unacceptable. I could never live with myself if I gave up.

Che, Sure, I mean people do impossible things all the time. Some even change the world. But when is it the right time to accept the facts that some things you wanted never worked out? For example, should I just keep trying and when I'm 75 years old I could say to myself 'damn.. I think tuition costs are too much for me to handle' ?? There has to be a time when you face the facts, right?

Sloww, I'm still trying to find a new way.. I will still try, but there are times when everything just seems too big to accomplish. It's so stupid too. I know I got what it takes, but then fail on some technical mumbo jumbo..

	03-03-2003 04:35									#7
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

che, I'm ready for anything. Literally anything that is legal.

	03-03-2003 04:36									#8
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

The facts are: You might not get the money to make it to the US. You might never join the US army. You might never find your soulmate. Note the use of the word "might."

My opinion: BFD. I might die in my sleep tonight, but I'm sure as hell not going to plan on it happening. **** might happen, that's a fact, and you should never forget it. Don't plan your life around ****, though.

	03-03-2003 04:39									#9
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

I just hit my head few times. I'm sorry guys, I'm not usually like this, I'm not a crying *****. **** it. I'll start from the beginning. if it takes 3 more years, then so it will be. This was just momentarely relapse.

Last edited by Pekka on 03-03-2003 at 04:44

	03-03-2003 04:46									#10
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

Try contacting the US army. There has to be a web site. If they let you join, and I have no idea, then you should inquire about tuition credits for serving.

Your soul mate is waiting for you in the Philippines. We'll be going back in a few years, come with us.

When you get the two income thing going, alot more is possible.

	03-03-2003 04:49									#11
	Tired of ads?

If there's anything we on this side can check for you, seriously, say the word.

	03-03-2003 04:51									#12
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Lancer, I know how it works, I've been talking with recruiters. Not simple, but let's not get into that, I've made few threads aboutr it already and people start killing each other soon if they hear one word about it

But I got more fighting spirit now after I spilled my guts on the internet .

	03-03-2003 04:53									#13
	Put an end to popups!

Sloww, don't worry.. I have studied these things very carefully. But thanks for the offer, I appreciate it.

I'm all confident again. All it takes is a kick to the head.

	03-03-2003 04:56									#14
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

I'm still going to check into this better.
Whatever I find out, I'll pass on to you.

	03-03-2003 05:05									#15
	Support Apolyton

You don't have to make the effort, but if you still want to, thank you in advance.
Basically it works like this: you need to be permanent resident and have a green card, or you have to have some agreements with the other country. That's the only way for now. So now the only option is to get into college/uni, and make lots of connection so I could get work right after I'd graduate, to get the green card. After that permanent residency is easy. And after that I could go to army too, if I still wanted to. So it all comes down to going studying, and that all comes down to be able to pay for it. And that's what I've been working for a long time now. I guess I'll just have to keep on doing it.

	03-03-2003 05:12									#16
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

quote: Also I should accept the fact, that I may not ever find my soulmate, never. Might happen, but it's possible I'll be without soulmate for the rest of my life.

She could be just around the corner. You might have already met her. How do you know? The crazy thing is that's how these things happen. Just when you stop trying so hard, it works out.

How's your mom doing?

che: Nothing more to add.

	03-03-2003 05:21									#17
	Got spare money?

Ming, you can delete this thread.. I feel kind of embarrasing about this already .

My mom.. well that didn't work out
But.. that's a fact I have already accepted. It's not the end of the world though..

	03-03-2003 09:44									#18
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Pekka, why would you want to join the US Army? Isn't there an army in your country? Why do you want to go to a university in the US? Unless you are qualified to go to the very top ones, you are better off going to one in your country.

	03-03-2003 10:08									#19
	Increase Your PM Length

UR, Yes, we have army. Been there done that already. Sure, I could always go to cadet school the works. But I'd end up training privates and I already did that for half year.. only difference would be some office work. It would be commitment for life, and working would not be interesting for me... so it wouldn't be rewarding, salary sucks anyway, but I wouldn't get any satisfaction from my work. It wouldn't be the challenge I'm looking for. I know exactly what I would get to do, and .. it's not motivating.

Now.. US army would be a whole new experience. I would get to know lots of new people from different parts of the world, not like our homogenic troopers. It would be a challenge alone. I would get to see new equipment and working environment. Also the US is in trouble, we are not. I'd love to chip in and do my part. I don't care if I'm not citizen of the US, but I want to chip in anyway. I like the US, I don't like its enemies. What does it matter what my passport says, I feel like this is the thing to do. I know it, I feel it, both heart and brain tells me it's my thing. Why shouldn't I join?

Also, I want to move to the US some day and make a living their, work, have my own family there. I want to do my part in the army before I get all that. I need to know that I have deserved my place in there. I expect that from anyone who would come here. Also it might help with citizenship, if I decide to go for it. And it would also be my tribute to the place that is giving me great opportunities. It's about lot of things, I can't explain it well.

About studying thing.. well.. there's only one uni and one department in it that I could consider studying. Needless to say it's easier to give birth to siamese twins. That does not mean I won't try.
Also I think it's a great thing to go and study abroad. There are great universitys in the US, and I'm looking for the atmosphere and challenges. Also there are more choices than here for me. And I'd like to work in the US, so it wouldn't be a bad thing to get a degree from there.
And again, it would be an experience of a life time.
I don't see myself in this country, my future is not here what ever happens. And again, why not? It's my dream..

	03-03-2003 10:13									#20
	Support Apolyton

quote: Originally posted by Pekka Also the US is in trouble, we are not. I'd love to chip in and do my part. I don't care if I'm not citizen of the US, but I want to chip in anyway. I like the US, I don't like its enemies. What does it matter what my passport says, I feel like this is the thing to do. I know it, I feel it, both heart and brain tells me it's my thing. Why shouldn't I join?

[off topic]
The US is not in trouble in the sense that some other country is about to attck it militarily. Iraq is.
[/off topic]

	03-03-2003 10:16									#21
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

UR, you're right, but the US army needs every man they can get. But as I said, I can't explain it very well, there are many reasons for me.

	03-03-2003 10:16									#22
	Tired of ads?

quote: People who don't accept facts are the ones who change the world.

Or die in a gutter somewhere .

	03-03-2003 10:18									#23
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Pekka, that's the spirit!

	03-03-2003 10:20									#24
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

ACCEPT FACTS AND THEN USE THEM TO WIN!

	03-03-2003 10:21									#25
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Imran, was that nice?

	03-03-2003 10:27									#26
	Increase the size of your Attachments

UR, And don't think twice that this is something that I'm not serious about.. I'd have to give up my position in my own army, maybe denounce citizenship some day, and most of all, this would cut me from my family pretty permanently, who are 100000% against this idea. I didn't get the feelign you were doubting, but just to make sure. I'll take any suggestions like that as an insult .

	03-03-2003 11:05									#27
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

No, I am just curious. Maybe I suggest that it can be a good idea to visit the country and spend some time there? I don't mean as a tourist, but hunker down for a year and two to see if you actually like the place.

	03-03-2003 11:20									#28
	Increase the size of your Attachments

I've been there several times, and I have close relatives there. It's not an issue. I know what I want .

Sorry for the last one, I've been watching 2 first seasons of Sopranos..

	03-03-2003 11:40									#29
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

"Maybe I can work a trade.
You for Chegitz, David Floyd, and a Sava to be named later."

All of them have every right to be in this country.

Pekka: If it's not possible to get into the US army, maybe you could try the British Army? They also have troops all over the world and that could be an interesting experience.

	03-03-2003 11:47									#30
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

Damn i checked the British army website, they requie British, Irish, or commonwealth citizenship. Maybe Australian? And if you really want to join a foreign country's military there is always the French Foreign legion.