05-03-2003 21:05									#1
	A general Canadian apology to the US (joke)-- and whats up with US beer? Got spare money?

On behalf of Canadians everywhere I'd like to offer an apology to the United States of America. We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

I'm sorry we called George Bush a moron. He is a moron but, it wasn't nice of us to point it out. If it's any consolation, the fact that he's a moron shouldn't reflect poorly on the people of America. After all it's not like
you actually elected him.

I'm sorry about our softwood lumber. Just because we have more trees than you doesn't give us the right to sell you lumber that's cheaper and better than your own.

I'm sorry we beat you in Olympic hockey. In our defense I guess our excuse would be that our team was much, much, much, much better than yours.

I'm sorry we burnt down your white house during the war of 1812. I notice you've rebuilt it! It's Very Nice.

I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain.

I'm sorry about our waffling on Iraq. I mean, when you're going up against a crazed dictator, you wanna have your friends by your side. I realize it took more than two years before you guys pitched in against Hitler, but that was different. Everyone knew he had weapons.

And finally on behalf of all Canadians, I'm sorry that we're constantly apologizing for things in a passive-aggressive way which is really a thinly
veiled criticism. I sincerely hope that you're not upset over this. We've seen what you do to countries you get upset with.

Thank you.


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I thought this was funny but the one issue I wanted to bring up is the point about mainstream US beer. Really what is up with that? Popular Canadian beer is just so much better. And there are a host of very wonderful European brews .

Is it just macho attitudes where having weak beer allows juvenile young men to brag about their beer consumption? Why is it that the biggest market in the world consistently accepts inferior brew?

	05-03-2003 21:12									#2
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"I'm sorry about your beer. I know we had nothing to do with your beer but, we Feel your Pain."

It's all fine.
The intent now is to drop our beer on Hussein.
THAT will teach him.

	05-03-2003 21:13									#3
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Accepted. That's all we really wanted.

	05-03-2003 21:16									#4
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We haven't been getting along very well recently and for that, I am truly sorry.

We haven't?

	05-03-2003 21:16									#5
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I believe that this apology is credited to one Rick Mercer of 22 Minutes, Made in Canada, and Talking to Americans fame.

	05-03-2003 21:16									#6
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I suggest forcing Saddam Hussein to drink American beer, eat American burgers and watch American soaps.

The poor bugger will prolly top himself after just a week of the above, I probably would.

	05-03-2003 21:17									#7
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quote: Originally posted by DanS We haven't?

Thier PM Cretin has been annoying.

	05-03-2003 21:19									#8
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We have good burgers.
Where did you come up with the bad burger reference?
Because of the Swiss cheese some use ?

	05-03-2003 21:24									#9
	Got spare money?

I was referring to MaccyDs - not had one for over a year and not missing them

	05-03-2003 21:27									#10
	Tired of ads?

Say what you like about McDonalds' but I still think they do a good chickenburger. Not the best, but perfectly edible.

	05-03-2003 21:30									#11
	Suffering from ads?

The only thing of redeeming social value at McDonald's, is McRibs.
That's why they seldom sell them.

	05-03-2003 21:31									#12
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You can get ribs at McDonalds? That's news to me.

	05-03-2003 21:32									#13
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No need to apologize for Canada, we know you are already a sorry excuse for a country...

Cretin is a punk, and yes, Bush isn't the brightest brick on the block, but he is ours.

We don't mind that you can beat us in Hockey as long as we take in most of the ticket sales during the regular NHL season.

Keep you wood, you hosier.

Yes, we rebuilt our White House. No thanks to you!

I like our beer. Any beer with an animal or tree part on it is not worth my penny (or in Canadian money I think that is about $2).

Yeah, it sucks we had to waffle on Iraq. Had it not been for that silly Blair guy, oh wait he is the real athority in you country too.

I think it is nice we can work these things out and remain good neighbors. Just keep one eye open at night, we just bought I butt load of cheap toilet paper, and we aren't afraid to use it!!!

	05-03-2003 21:35									#14
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Ah well, some American will probably come up with a similar apology to Canadians in an attempt to bash Canada. Why?

	05-03-2003 21:35									#15
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Popular American beers are simply undrinkable. Weak too. Canadian beers are a bit better but stuff like Molson Export makes me gag. Sliemans Honey Brown however is damn good stuff.

What is with the weakness of the beer anyway? What is the standard strength of American beer? 3.5% is the standard content of a pint of beer over here in England. Plenty of lovely 5% beers and even 9% beers are relatively easy to find.

	05-03-2003 21:36									#16
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I was three minutes late.

	05-03-2003 21:37									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Paul Hanson You can get ribs at McDonalds? That's news to me.

It's a sandwich that, on occasion, McDonald's sells.

	05-03-2003 21:42									#18
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It's a great sandwich, too. MMmmmmm, McRibs.

	05-03-2003 21:43									#19
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yeah as DuncaK says, why not just enjoy the silliness of it - why feel the need to bash Canada?


ah yes the joys of MaccyDs - the lukewarm burger, the soggy fries, the "large drink" half-full of ice - yummy!

	05-03-2003 21:47									#20
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Yeah the popular American beers suck...especially Bud. I don't know how they are the #1 selling beer because quite frankly, Budweiser tastes like piss and foam.

However, a 30 pack of Miller Lite goes for about $16, which is great my us college students who want to get drunk without paying a lot.

Off topic: What really pisses me off are all these stupid trendy drinks like Smirnoff Ice, Sky Blue, etc. Not only are they crap, but they cost like $8 for a six pack.

	05-03-2003 21:48									#21
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Canada? You mean that frozen tundra we sectioned off, due to unliveable conditions?
Debate is on-going to extend to include Michigan's northern peninsula.

	05-03-2003 21:50									#22
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The "stupid trendy drinks" are called alcopops in the UK. They're usually stronger than any beer equivalent and taste far nicer. For a nice, drawn out evening, drink beer. For getting smashed fast, chug alcopops.

To clutch your head the next morning and whimper "why why" drink stuff like Kaluha.

	05-03-2003 21:51									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Demerzel I suggest forcing Saddam Hussein to drink American beer, eat American burgers and watch American soaps. The poor bugger will prolly top himself after just a week of the above, I probably would.

Saddam is actually a fan of several aspects of American Culture, TV and Movies being #1. not the best muslim.

slightly unrelated:

i saw this show on MTV (the definative news source, of course) where they went to the house of an Iraqi family. These two Iraqi boys were wearing FUBU. fawking FUBU. they went to their room, they had britney spears / backstreet boys posters. they showed a scene of one boy singing the song. he knows the words, he knows the meanings. he speaks english well enough for a pre-teen Iraqi.

and he still says America deserved 9/11. he said it coldly, without any thought or sympathy.

sigh.

	05-03-2003 21:53									#24
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quote: Originally posted by dudemanjack However, a 30 pack of Miller Lite goes for about $16, which is great my us college students who want to get drunk without paying a lot.

The secret behind American beer revealed! It's cheap and refreshing.

	05-03-2003 21:54									#25
	Got spare money?

American beer gets a bad name because of Bud, Miller, Coors, et al. They really do suck oversized moosecock - and they simply aren't beer.

There is much better American beer available to Americans who want it, thank goodness.

-Arrian

	05-03-2003 22:00									#26
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quote: Originally posted by chegitz guevara The secret behind American beer revealed! It's cheap and refreshing.

Beer for the masses

	05-03-2003 22:00									#27
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The only good Budweiser is the orginal Czech Budweiser.

	05-03-2003 22:00									#28
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quote: he speaks english well enough for a pre-teen Iraqi. and he still says America deserved 9/11. he said it coldly, without any thought or sympathy. sigh.

If he is a pre-teen, he's lived most of his life under UN sanctions backed by the US after the Gulf war.

You wonder why he hates the US ?

	05-03-2003 22:02									#29
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Right now I'm drinking a very good Grolsch lager, a Dutch beer.

	05-03-2003 22:08									#30
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Sot.