07-03-2003 01:56									#1
	Complete the Story! Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

Let's take a break from all the crazy Iraq and "I hate Bush" threads and have a little fun. How about a round of COMPLETE THE STORY!!!! I'll post three sentences, then you will post three sentences continuing the story. I'll start with this...

He climbed into the spaceship. He was going to be one of the first human beings on Mars! Him and his team of scientists, pilots, and crew were going on a very historic expedition.

	07-03-2003 02:09									#2
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But wait! The launch has been delayed, as a massive hailstorm erupts near Cape Canaveral. Sinking into his seat, the dejected pilot, Buzz Lightyear, waits for the sterilised attendents to strap him out of the cockpit.

	07-03-2003 02:45									#3
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

Buzz returns to the base. He's very discouraged. Fellow astronauts try to cheer him up but to no avail.

	07-03-2003 02:48									#4
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He says "I'm an homosexual astronaut"

	07-03-2003 02:50									#5
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The media swarms and the next day the tabloids read,

"Gay in Space! And not Ashamed!

	07-03-2003 02:51									#6
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Marge! Change the channel!

	07-03-2003 02:55									#7
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

I want to divorce!

	07-03-2003 02:58									#8
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

"Why honey? Haven't I been good enough for you? Is it the cooking?"

	07-03-2003 03:03									#9
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Nope, it's because I'm homosexual as well

	07-03-2003 03:05									#10
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Just then, Tatu knocked on the door.

	07-03-2003 03:06									#11
	Suffering from ads?

"Make sure you bring someone handsome, and not one of your drinking buddies. That includes Moe."

	07-03-2003 03:38									#12
	Got spare money?

Buzz chuckled, and walked to the kitchen, to grab a can of his favourite spam.

	07-03-2003 03:43									#13
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As his hand neared the spam however, he accidentally triggered a special insta-inter-dimensional-mega-hyper-super-ultra-teleport-transporter II mouse trap.

	07-03-2003 03:51									#14
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*ouch!*

MAAAARGE! I told you to take the IIDMHSUTT off the fridge.

	07-03-2003 03:57									#15
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"Ain't no-one taking stuff off me", the fridge told Buzz.

	07-03-2003 04:09									#16
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations: Deluxe Edition

BTW- Homer and Buzz are two different characters.

Buzz recoils, placing his ear right on the fridge. "I must be hearing things. I thought I heard the fridge talk!" Switching off the simpson's episode on the TV, Buzz returns to the kitchen.

	07-03-2003 04:37									#17
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Meanwhile, on Mars and slightly to the left in time, the three most powerful beings in the universe discuss mankind.

"You think that if they come to Mars, the humans will discover our secret?" Boris asked, looking at Starchild and Redjon.

"What secret?" Starchild asked, "Oh, the fact that we converted the entire planet Mars into a quantum generator that could, if every used, alter time and space to suit the wishes of the individual placed in the core with the possible result of deforming reality into a brutal, narcissistic perversion of the truth, all based around that one individual?"

"Yes, that one," Boris said, "Hey, where did Redjon go?"

	07-03-2003 04:49									#18
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Redjon, it turned out, was busy being buggered by a heron, an unpleasant turn of events that had begun as an innocent dinner date.

	07-03-2003 05:06									#19
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So, they left him a note in which they explained -
"Went to supermarket for more bagels, be back later.
- XOXO
P.S. Clean up your dishes!"

	07-03-2003 05:09									#20
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Redjon, having returned in the meantime, read the note and started laughing maniacally. He would show them whos boss by -

NOT washing the dishes!

	07-03-2003 17:31									#21
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but he wanted to have some fun instead, so he made a phony call (?) to the FBI,

	07-03-2003 18:56									#22
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

"Five Bucks Indian, the best Curry place on this side of the railroad, how can I help you?"

	08-03-2003 00:25									#23
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Quoth Agent Sculder, playing the part of Apu to throw of any government bugs.

These same government bugs, known as KLaCKON (Knowledge, Lechery, and Clandestine eKstraterrestrial Operation Network), were the ones who set up the IIDMHSUTT in the fridge.

Their mission: to send a hapless human being to Xen for research purposes.

	08-03-2003 08:16									#24
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Buzz, feeling an emotional confrontation with his fridge would be a bit too much after his stressful day, retreats to the local Piggly Wiggly to pick up a Hungry Man dinner. As he attempts to back his car into the clearly marked "Handicapped" space by the door, he is startled to see an extremely phallic looking spacecraft decend into the space behind him.

The great ship lands silently. The doors to the ship vibrate slightly then open with a swish.

Starchild & Boris decend the stairs.

Watch where you land that thing. I almost rear ended you !, said Buzz devoid of irony.

Last edited by Uncle Sparky on 08-03-2003 at 08:29

	08-03-2003 08:41									#25
	Suffering from ads?

ddd did you hear the frightened ones... the ones who sleep in the deserts burn during the days and freeze during the nights, the ones who say: good bye, good bye, blue sky - take me home... let me go let me go let me go...

	08-03-2003 08:57									#26
	Tired of ads?

"I just wanted to point out that I had clearly indicated my intent to park in the spot you landed in. There's no need for you to get all existential on me." said Buzz, a little perplexed at Starchild's Kafkaeque ramblings.

	13-03-2003 18:00									#27
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Then Red_Jon went to find his lover, Will Young...

	13-03-2003 18:05									#28
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...and found Will wrapped around his arch-rival, the nefarious Hugh Grant!

	13-03-2003 18:26									#29
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

But then something completely unexcepted happened!

	14-03-2003 00:46									#30
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Holy thread revival Batman!