19-03-2003 23:26									#1
	Second Warrant Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

In the name of Togas and the people of Spain

The citizen Marcus History Guy Calamari, otherwise known as History Guy, is put under arrest from now on.

He is accused of multiple infractions, infringement, offences, violations, misdemeanours and crimes.

He shall be taken to the Office of the Watcher, dead or alive, where a fair interview will take place.

All citizens are required to assist me by any means for the Justice to be rendered


Made in Madrid, on March 18, Togas ruling,

For the best of Spain


Christofo de Torquemada

	20-03-2003 00:51									#2
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WHAT AN ABUSE!!!!
Listen here watcher , I´ve always respected your authority, but this time you have gone too far!!!
RELEASE HIM!!!!

I cannot bear to see this! You see this old man that is talking to you? I build Spain as fathfully as anyothers,and the father of this man who you arrested too! Go on , arrest an elder! I am going to the Lord´s pallace to tell him of this abuse!!! Ah yeah be assured of that!!!!!

	20-03-2003 01:02									#3
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Well, I used not to like them very much, but that's past me, and I gotta wonder, what happened? Why's he under arrest?

Also, how can a fair interview take place in the chance that they are taken to the Office dead?

to Nuclearis
Nuke, old buddy, keep your temper down, it's okay. Togas ruling, man, he knows what he's doing.

Spamish Mitchell
Really Old Guy

	20-03-2003 01:10									#4
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That's amusing! The good Marcus History Guy Calamari!!!

I cannot believe he is guilty of anything. There must be an error.

	20-03-2003 01:13									#5
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I am glad that I can assist in this case, Señor Torquemada.

I have studied long on many issues in my life. One issue however has interested me very much. I have listened to the many wise men throughout the Spanish history. I have read their clay tablets and papyrus scrolls as well as I've studied drawings and paintings on the issue. At last I myself have written a few scrolls on this issue that are stored in the royal archive. I'll post some quotations here:

quote: From Aidun Cian, born in the year 1610 after the start of the reign of Togas I, from his scroll The Mystery of Life and Death "Since the start of humanity, people wonder about life and death. Living people can suddenly be dead or can die slowly, of old age or of disease. The origin of this this strange happening, is still unknown. This research will try to solve the mystery of life and death."

quote: From Aidun Cian, born in the year 1610 after the start of the reign of Togas I, from his scroll The Mystery of Life and Death "Death is the status when the body does not respond to signals from outside the body when the person is not asleep.. Sleep is when the body does not respond to signals from outside the body, but the body behaves as if it is alive: it breathes eand the heart beats. Infact in this status the body is alive, but in an inactive status Life is the status when the body breathes and the heart beats. In most cases the body feels warm in this status. The body needn't to be active: it can be asleep or awake. Awake is the status when the body behaves like it is alive: it breathes and the heart beats an the body does respond to signals from outside the body. Other statusses that this one do not exist"

quote: From Aidun Cian, born in the year 1610 after the start of the reign of Togas I, from his scroll The Mystery of Life and Death "Only persons that are alive as well as awake can respond to signals from ouside the body. If the body behaves like it is in another status, no response can be expected from it"

Señor Torquemada, concluding from these quotes, I can say that Señor Calamari will not respond to your interview if he is brougth dead before you. It is useless to await his answers because he shall give none and shall stay silent.
The body will not respond to any torture when it has reached the status of death. It is however unknown if dead people feel pain. Further research is needed to apporove or reject this. Further research is also needed on the practical issue of making dead people alive again so they can serve your inquiry in cases like this one.

I hope I have served you well helping you on this issue.
Perhaps the Lord Togas will give the Academia some more money for further research.

Sincerely

Aidun Cian,

Governor of Saragossa;
First Priest of Luna el Salvador;
Philosopher at the Academia of Madrid.

	20-03-2003 01:43									#6
	Re: Second Warrant Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote: Originally posted by DAVOUT He is accused of multiple infractions, infringement, offences, violations, misdemeanours and crimes.

This is gestapo doublespeak for 'nothing I can say without laughing'. Could you be more specific? It might help preserve the good faith of the citizens you seek to "watch".

	20-03-2003 04:35									#7
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Senor Torquemada,

I am Marcus's father, Fernand de History Guy Calamari, and I must inform you that I have not spoken to my son for twenty-four years, nor have I heard of his whereabouts, except that he is the head of some sort of secret organization somewhere in the mountains.

I did hear from a certain Madame Chile Pepper who apparently knows him that he has taken jobs for the Watcher's department to expunge certain unwanted elements of society. I cannot verify this, for I know not this man Marcus. I do not regard him any longer as a member of the family, he operates on his own, and he gets no squid money from me.

May Herminor strike him down if he presumes to lie and say otherwise.

If I find him, I'll either kill him, or send him here. But don't expect too much of an old man.

Fernand de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron
Assistant High Priest
High Priest of Herminor
First Watcher of the Flame of Aur Lor
(with other impeccable credentials)

P.S., Senor Oliver, don't worry about Marcus. He's the bad egg of the family, the black sheep. We Calamarquists hate him.

P.P.S., And Senor Winterius, worry not, they can have Marcus if they want him. They are only destroying, if Madame Pepper is correct, one of their own operatives.

	20-03-2003 05:18									#8
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If Madame Chile Pepper is right, Fernand, the Watcher's department is a quite chaotic place: they don't even know their own operatives and arrest their own people.

I hope she is not true or otherwise this case shall be a very embarassing one.

Aidun Cian the older

	20-03-2003 05:32									#9
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She tells me...not that I know her hardly at all, really...I mean that...really!!!...Anyway, she tells me that he runs some sort of assassination department for the Watcher!! If this is the case, why would the Watcher be assassinating his own operative? Ah well. It must be the best choice, I suppose.

Fernand de History Guy Calamari

And to the Watcher, that scoundrel Marcus is not known as History Guy!! That is my title!! And I fear I must inform you that I am not Senor Marcus, but am, I regret to say, his father. I have not had contact with him for nearly twenty-five years. If you want him, find him yourself, for I don't know where the filthy pig is hiding. Don't bother an old man.

	20-03-2003 06:18									#10
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I wish to not be used as much of a witness for this case

while i don't have the best memories of Hernan... i have not been witness to any recent crimes of his.

	20-03-2003 06:23									#11
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Senor Ninot,

Don't hold back. I am afraid news travels slow. Hernan passed away at a ripe old age, I, his son, take over the family business. Secondly, I'm not the one on trial. We Calamarquists don't even regard Marcus as a member of the family, so we can't be any help here either. Hope he catches the little rat.

Fernand de History Guy Calamari

	20-03-2003 07:57									#12
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quote: Originally posted by History Guy Senor Ninot, Don't hold back. I am afraid news travels slow. Hernan passed away at a ripe old age, I, his son, take over the family business. Secondly, I'm not the one on trial. We Calamarquists don't even regard Marcus as a member of the family, so we can't be any help here either. Hope he catches the little rat. Fernand de History Guy Calamari

Yeah, but I only really knew Hernan, and whoever before him

so

	20-03-2003 08:14									#13
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Oh, well, in that case, let's pop over to the tavern. I'll buy you a drink and a squid sandwich.

	20-03-2003 09:04									#14
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Let it be known

Should The Watcher issue a warrant for the arrest of any member of Spain, that warrant is to be upheld and respected without question. I will not have alleged crimes against Spain judged in the court of public opinion.

The Watcher shall publish the charges against Marcus History Guy Calamari after his arrest and formal prosecution. We will then commense formal proceedings, giving Marcus History Guy Calamari a full and fair trial in our system of justice.

Should he be found guilty, he may appeal his judgement and sentance before me. But appeals to me prior to that time are not appropriate, nor is questioning the validity of this warrant appropriate at this time.

The Gods shall watch over Senor Marcus History Guy Calamari and ensure that his fate is just. I have absolute confidence that the right decision will be made by The Watcher once all the facts are revealed.

--Togas

	20-03-2003 20:17									#15
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Grand Despot Togas, I hope we knew that Your Orders will be carried out. We were just commenting and discussing on and about the case.

As for the whereabouts of this Marcus Calamari, Stufpos says on his first trip to Pamplona he saw "some group of loonies" going northeast. So maybe Marcus is somewhere around the mountains NW of Madrid, if he was in the "group of loonies".

Spamish Mitchell
Really Old Guy

	21-03-2003 00:50									#16
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Well, the Calamari family doesn't know of his whereabouts, so perhaps that is so.

I must add, though..."HANG HIM! Ahahahahaha!"

That is all.

Fernand de History Guy Calamari

	21-03-2003 01:03									#17
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And Gracious Togas, My Master and My King,

Allow an old man just one kindness from you.

I have now been arrested twice for the alleged crimes of my youngest son, Marcus, whom I have not seen for decades. I have had nothing to do with him for ages, and I must protest the Watcher's blatant misuse of power, when he arrests innocent men like me because of some unfortunate family connections.

I beg Your Magnimous Majesty to demand to this "Watcher" (though how can be a Watcher if he cannot tell the difference between myself and my son?) to stop arresting me, Fernand de History Guy Calamari, an honest priest who has never commited a crime in his life!

Are old men to be arrested now for having sons?

Are fathers to be punished for the sins of the sons?

I beg you, have mercy on this old servant of yours by telling this man to stop bothering me about my son's crimes. I do not regard Marcus as a member of the family, nor do I particularly care what is done to him, just as long as it doesn't involve me.

I am, however, greatly annoyed by the Watcher's lack of decency, so that he would force an old man to spend hours in some dank cell for crimes he did not commit, and then to ignore what I say. This miscarriage of justice cannot be ignored!!

I beg you, on my knees, tell this man to stop before he gives me a heart attack. I have no knowledge of my son's whereabouts or crimes, and I'm getting awfully tired of having to suffer because of them. I'd prefer to be cooking squid, or counting my money, or something.

You are my only King and Master, I do your will. Whenever have I broken your laws? Never. Please, do not turn a blind eye to my suffering, but hear me as I cry to you for justice!

Fernand de History Guy Calamari
A Citizen of Madrid

	21-03-2003 01:35									#18
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Senor Calamari,

It is simply impossible for Grand Despot Togas to do injustice, for he is Justice, and everything he does is Just. It is by definition impossible.



Spamish Mitchell
Really Old Guy

	21-03-2003 01:38									#19
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I do not mean to imply that he could. I do mean to imply that the Watcher could, however.

Fernand de History Guy Calamari

	21-03-2003 03:40									#20
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I think this case is going to require an official edict that forces citizens to use their newest persona and not rely on older ones vouching that the new one cannot be found