20-03-2003 01:16									#1
	Mysterious Stone; Owner? Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

I awoke this morning to find a stone on my hut's doorstep with this inscribed on it:

| /-\|\|/| 1337 |-|4X()|2
3|2/-\|)|(4-|-()|2
61\/3 |\|/|3 |_||2 5Q|_|||) ()|2 |=/-\(3 -|-|-|3 (()|\|53|_||\|(35

What does it mean? I can't figure it out at all. Spamish says it might mean something about squid, but that's all he can figure out. (He says this language was commonplace where he came from before joining Spain, but his eyes aren't good enough to read all of it out.)

Any help please?



Sewfa Kengretard Mitchell
(OOC )

	20-03-2003 01:59									#2
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

Hmm let me see if I can help you. I'm a philosopher too as you might know. Where did your father Spamish come from? Looking to these insriptions I guess they might be runes, but looking at it, I can't say where they are from.

Aidun Cian the older,

Governor of Madrid;
First Priest of Luna el Salvador;
Philosopher at the Academia of Madrid

	20-03-2003 04:38									#3
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Darn it. Filthy swine. Get off the top secret calamari recipe, or I'll have you prosecuted for theft!!! Don't give me any of that pamplona that you "found it on your doorstep"!

It's a good thing I encoded it, otherwise you might have...dare I say it?...discovered the Top Secret Family Recipe!!

Off with you now, else I let the dogs on you!

Fernand de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron

	20-03-2003 05:37									#4
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

OOC /OOC

Señor Calamari, I wouldn't be so quick. I found it on my doorstep, and Thig (a slave of mine) can verify it for me, as he was tending the yard and saw me get it. (He says it was there when he came out and didn't pick it up, assuming it was a simple letter and I could get it. He had some nice time in the Happy Happy room for not delivering my mail. ) As such, I'd like to keep it until I can find out more of what it is; if you can prove that you are missing such a stone of your own recently however then I will go ahead and return it as it is probably not of any use. Besides, why would I want to have it? My great-grandfather is in the Squid business, not me, and he hasn't sold a Squid in millenia anyways.

Señor Cian, hes not my father, he's my great-grandfather (ooc IIRC ) and he grew up in a distant place near the "Afklands", he says. Back in his time there wasn't much (if any) study of surrounding geography, so he can't provide more than his general region, and it's not like anything known by our cartographers.

Sewfa Kengretardo Mitchell
(Nothing Important Yet)

	20-03-2003 05:51									#5
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Look, young man...I can prove it by translating one line...

The Calamarquian runes: | /-\|\|/|

They say: Take the squid and...

There, now that I have proven it...give it me! It's mine! I wants it! Mine! My own! My precious!

	20-03-2003 07:28									#6
	Re: Mysterious Stone; Owner? Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

| /-\|\|/| 1337 |-|4X()|2

I am **** Haxor (?)

3|2/-\|)|(4-|-()|2

eradicator

61\/3 |\|/|3 |_||2 5Q|_|||) ()|2 |=/-\(3 -|-|-|3 (()|\|53|_||\|(35

Give me your squid or face the consequences

	20-03-2003 07:29									#7
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

---
Senor Calamari, I have decided to keep it for a suitable interval to see if anyone else claims it. If no one else claims it in one 24-hour period, you may have it. I don't see why you expect me to read it and find out your recipe, as I have already stated confusion over its text.

By the way, your lust for this thing is rather unhealthy; I'd get it checked out by a shaman sometime.

Sewfa Kengretardo Mitchell
(Nothing Important Yet)

	20-03-2003 07:35									#8
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Considering Senor Pikesfan's new and different (and in my opinion more sense-making) translation of the document, along with the fact that it fits in with my own great-grandfather's limited reading, you'll have to come up with considerable proof, Senor Calamari. Not just a "translation."

Sewfa Kengretardo Mitchell

	20-03-2003 08:09									#9
	Tired of ads?

Blast. How do I do that? What proof do you need, thief?

Look...thanks to you we've had to change the recipe drastically. Luckily, we've improved it. Thanks, guy. We don't need the stone anymore. Do whatever you want with it. Bounce it off someone's head, or eat it, or whatever. It's yours. Just don't try to read it...you won't understand.

We guarantee that.

Heh heh heh.

	20-03-2003 08:23									#10
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Senor Calamari, your strange behaviour has been remembered, but I highly doubt it was your stone in the first place.

Sewfa Kengretardo Mitchell

	21-03-2003 00:18									#11
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

He... has got the....
oh you young magg*t! gimme that!!! NOW!!
*hits the mitchie in the head with his cane*
and this is for taking our relic! And this is for believing that fool old mitchie, and this is for... aww it doesn´t care!
Hmmpf
gimme this back NOW or you´ll get some serious problem boy...

	21-03-2003 01:32									#12
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Argh! Many, many people claim the stone for their own. My best idea is to gift it to Grand Despot Togas when the 24-hour period is up, since no one can produce conclusive evidence of thier ownership.

	21-03-2003 01:45									#13
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Gastronome Neecap runs out of the outhouse.

(bounces a rock off Mitchell's head)

"Give me that...you little thief!"

Immediately, an old washerwoman drops some laundry on Mitchell's head, and jumps down on top of him, throttling him.

"That's mine!! You little..."

A barmaid smashes the washerwoman on the head with her beer, and begins to go after Mitchell with the corkscrew...

"That's the birthstone from my wedding ring!! Give it me!!"

A midget runs out of a cupboard, trips the barmaid, and leaps onto Mitchell, clasping a long, shiny candle-stick, which he prepares to bash Mitchell with.

"Hey! You weasle! I know where you got that! Give it back!"

This sort of activity continues for the next two dozen hours, or so.

Calamari just shakes his head and walks off in disgust.

	21-03-2003 02:20									#14
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Mitchell, almostunbelievable that so many people are so greedy. I suggest you solve it Salomo's way. Never heard of that story from a land far away?

Give it to the Despot and let him call all the greedy people before him and try to break it...

Aidun Cian the older

	21-03-2003 02:27									#15
	Get a bigger avatar today!

ouch! ouch! ouch!

quick, grand despot! catch!!!

Sewfa throws the stone, hoping it lands in good hands.

	21-03-2003 02:46									#16
	Increase the size of your Attachments

Calamari: Dammit! Who threw this rock on my head???! Ye gads!! You again??! That's it!!! I've had it!!

	21-03-2003 03:06									#17
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

This stone seems to be of historic origins, before the invention of Writing. Perhaps it is lost knowledge or wisdom from the Gods.

I hereby give this stone to our High Priest for his inspection, and hopefully translation. It may give us divine knowledge!

--Togas

	21-03-2003 03:10									#18
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Reads that stone inscription..Hmm...it didnt come from the lands of lux...I will guarantee that.

Haxor? I have not met this man. Perhaps the drunks at the Iberian Delight will have loose lips...

	21-03-2003 05:00									#19
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Wait! Wait! Cease! Remain still!!

That isn't the squid recipe! I just found it in the wash!

And, as Assistant High Priest, and High Priest of Herminor, I must inform you that Haxor the Eradicator was the sword-bearer of Gruinor Strong-Arm, the Giant King. Both were killed by Herminor in the battle at the beginning of time when the giants invaded creation.

Haxor was famous for driving all the silk squids out of the northern forests. He hated squids, and all of creation, for that matter. A typical giant fiend. Luckily, Herminor swung his battleaxe and cleaved off the giant's head.

This must be some relic, then, of those dark days.

Fernand de History Guy Calamari
Assistant High Priest

	21-03-2003 06:30									#20
	Support Apolyton buy from Amazon

Maybe if we can decipher it, we can learn more about the story of the gods. Or maybe it just says the same thing you just said. Well, we'll have to translate it before we can ever know...

	21-03-2003 19:44									#21
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

OH, you found it. That is my receipy for making Sr. Lord Togas' special toilet paper....

Two parts banana silk
one part squid juice - extra ripe
Mash together
Once silk is liquid - pour onto flat hot rock
bake in sun until dry
cut into flat, silky smooth, absorbant strips

I'v been making it for so long I didn't even realize that my recipie was missing for a long time. Sorry for any confusion.

	21-03-2003 21:59									#22
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Dammit. Now you tell us, GodKing.

By the way, there is a terrible chamber pot emergency at my brother's house. Can you recommend any plumbers?

	22-03-2003 02:04									#23
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization III: Complete

Why not just buy a new chamber pot? They’re very cheap. Mind you these are the plain clay pots, but your buttocks don’t know the difference between a plain one and the fancy painted one with a gold handle. They both serve very well to hold the whatever-it-is.

Mind you, women just don’t believe this, so you have to end up buying the expensive chamber pot anyway.

	22-03-2003 23:14									#24
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

| /-\|\|/| 1337 |-|4X()|2
3|2/-\|)|(4-|-()|2
61\/3 |\|/|3 |_||2 5Q|_|||) ()|2 |=/-\(3 -|-|-|3 (()|\|53|_||\|(35

These are arabic figures with a few simple signs; not a language but probably a code. The numbers are in most cases prime numbers :
191*7=1337 191 and 7 are prime
2, 3, 61, 5, 53 are prime
7*5=35

The prime numbers replce the name of nobles participating in a plot against Togas; as you can see, number one is not mentionned. Number 2 is presumably the BTA.

	24-03-2003 19:09									#25
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

I hear tell that Trip has some excelent "Chamber Pot" skills.... Quite a few people from the former nation of Lux probably are used to it... check with them....

	25-03-2003 05:25									#26
	Get a bigger avatar today!

Senor Torquemada, I'm sure you'll get to the bottom of these codes once and for all, then. This might suggest, horror of horrors, an Arabic plot against our Despot!! Perhaps, sir, that since these people used to be familiar with myself (for I was former diplomat to that foul country), they seek revenge on me, and have plugged up my chamber pot!

If so...perhaps we should send in a thief to steal the Sultan's chamber pot as a warning to all those who would dare undermine the might of Spain!

Fernand de History Guy Calamari
Squid Baron

P.S., Senor Trip, since you may be reading this now, I'll hire you to clear out my chamber pot for a good number of bones, if you are willing.

	25-03-2003 06:11									#27
	Support Apolyton

Señor Torquemada, do you know how many nobles Arabia has? At any rate not 61

Fernand, how dare you to ask Trip to clean your chamber pot. He may not have the citizenship of Spain, but he certainly has his dignity. I will not allow you to take that away from him!

Aidun Cian the older

Last edited by Aidun on 25-03-2003 at 07:36

	25-03-2003 07:22									#28
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

quote: Originally posted by Aidun Fernand, how dare you to ask Trip to clean your chamber pot.

I understood it that GodKing was offering him an ancient GodKing Clan hospitality tradition: Trip, the honoured guest was being asked to clean the leaves of the plant growing in the plant room chamber before they rolled it up, burned it, and inhaled the smoke of friendship together.

	25-03-2003 07:35									#29
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

The offering was to clean Lord Togas chamber pot. That is howver forbidden as Trip has no political rights and believe oit or not, even a chamberpot cleaner has his political duties.

Aidun Cian the older

	25-03-2003 08:45									#30
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Senor Aidun, I was simply answering the suggestion of the good Senor God King, who was informing me who to hire to have my chamber pot cleaned. What right is it of you to decide who cleans my chamber pot? My chamber pot, and all it's contents, are the belongings of the Calamari family. Please keep out of it.

That reminds me of a story, by the way...

Fernand de History Guy Calamari