 |
| |
|
|
H Tower
|
|
Pravda
June 1941 Issue 1
Field Marshal Klesh Dies in freak Accident.
(RP) The Marshal of the Soviet Union died yesterday in an accident during an inspection of the 173rd Cavalry battalion stationed outside Moscow. While inspecting the equipment of one of the mounted troopers, a mouse frightened the horse and caused it knock over Marshal Klesh and then proceeded to trample him to death before the beast could be brought back under control. Funeral plans are being made, it is expected that Marshal Klesh will be laid to rest in his native Ukraine from which he came.
The newly elected Ministers moved into their offices this week
(RP), and began making inspired changes to their respective ministries. Word coming from the office of the Economic Minister has it that sweeping changes will soon be coming out to adjust the already booming economy and send it to new heights. Meanwhile in the Propaganda Minister’s office, plans are being made to record the glorious achievements of the Rodina.
War in Africa.
(RP) The war in Africa continues to go well for our German neighbors, just last month General Erwin Rommel captured Tobruk and received promotion to the rank of Field Marshal for his service against the British.
(The great automobile factory in Kharkov produces 1500 cars and trucks per shift and works 3 shifts)
Power Void.
(RP) Following the demise of Marshal Klesh, the Marshal position at the top of the Soviet Military remains open. A new Marshal is expected shortly.
Spies and saboteurs are everywhere.
(RP) Upon investigation into the bad crop harvest in and around Minsk. It appears that someone has been salting the soil of the local kolectivs. Investigators from the local office of the Shield of the Party have received tips on the identity of the person who would attempt to starve our workers paradise. If you see suspicious behavior by anyone, contact the police immediately. Do not let the capitalists win!
Last edited by H Tower on 21-03-2003 at 04:44
|
|
| |
|
|
|
H Tower
|
|
quote:
Originally posted by obiwan18
Post a screenshot of the Word file.
|
 Attachment: pravda 1.jpg
This has been downloaded 241 time(s).
Last edited by H Tower on 21-03-2003 at 04:46
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Dr. Nick
|
 |
Mola mazo!
Oct 2000
time: 01:26
|
|
Demise of Marshal Kleshnikov: Martyrdom in the name of the People
Moskva.- Another hero of the People has been slain by the misfortune of this Great Patriotic War that has fallen upon the heads of the glorious proletariat. In his eternal struggle against the fascist swine and capitalist whores, a hero of the people fell, slain. The death of our most heroic Marshal brings the great Soviet Union to its knees to mourn its greatest man, one of the builders of this Paradise of the Proletariat, where all workers could make something out of their life, but even in this darkest hour, the death of our glorious Marshal of the People can only strengthen the iron will of the People and temper it so that it will become stiffer than steal, unbreakable even in the darkest hour.
Even at this time, the will of the proletariat that has joined us in this crusade versus those who seek the destruction of Communism, is being bent by the advancing enemy. Our men are dieing in the name of the People. Our wives, raped by the fascist rats, our children slain in the streets at the hand of the imperialist aggressor who seeks to destroy the people who rose against the Tsar and their children. With the fall of the greatest leader that our men at arms could expect for leadership, a most loyal, loving and fatherly servant of the people has fallen under the cold grip of death. But let his death not be a cause for mourning! Our great Marshal wanted Russia to be on its feet, to meet the aggressor with our full strength, that the Iron Will of the Poeple never be bent! Arise ye workers from your mourning! For we must in this day avenge the death of our Marshal, brought upon prematurely by the fascist threat that seeks to destroy everything that us, the People, have built in our Rodina! May our glorious Marshal go to the pantheon of the great Russian heroes!
|
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
| |
|
|
|
curtsibling
|
 |
of the Kill!
May 2002
time: 05:26
|
|
KURT SIBLINGOV PROVIDES TODAY'S FACTORY HUMOUR
To raise war-time spirits, we in the Industrial and armament departments have gathered all
the most cheerful jokes that our brave workers are telling in their 1 minute daily lunch-break!
All troops are permitted one laugh per joke.
Two army rules:
#1.The commanding officer is always right.
#2.If the commanding officer is not right, see #1.
A soldier is being led to the place of his execution.
-Some bad weather we`re having,-he says to his convoy.
-Look who`s complaining, they say, we have to go back.
An ensign is walking along the street, wearing different colored shoes - one's black, and the other one's brown. A major stops him and says:
-Ensign! Go home and change your shoes.
-I can't, major, says ensign, the ones I've got at home are just like the ones I'm wearing.
A recruit examines the food served to him in the batallion dining room.
- Do I have any choice here, he asks a sergeant.
- Yes, you do. You may eat it or not.
A soldier keeps a mug upside down and tells the sergeant:
- I can't drink from this mug. It has no opening.
The sergeant examines the mug and says:
- You are right. And besides this, it has no bottom.
- Sergeant, what should I do if my parachute won't open?
- Bring it back and I'll replace it.
Comrades, more worker wisecracks will follow soon!
Note to all citizens: Failure to laugh will be investigated by the NKVD.
|
|
| |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:26.
Apolyton Time is 00:26. |
top of page
|
|
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
20-03-2003 07:08
Attachment: 
Attachment: 
Comrade Alsahafsky 
|
