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korn469
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Poetic Justic
Apr 1999 time: 00:27
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Dom
this sounds really hard, and I feel for you. I've battled through depression, and right now things are shitty for me, but we have got to keep struggling. I had like 10 bad things happen today, along with one great thing, and I am truly happy tonight unlike last night when I was feeling really down.
I know what you mean about not being a ladies man. I was overweight most of high school, I had acne, and worst of all I had a family that liked to belittle me. When I really feel for my first girl (one that was completely unobtainable for me) I swore my mom to secrecy, but she told my dad and the psycho (he truly is insane) chased me around the house going shamey, shamey, shamey and wagging his finger at me. Not only that I was forced to goto a pentacoastal church that was basically a cult, that preached the end of the world is nigh, and basically everyone is going to hell. I had zero self esteem. Even now, although I'm not hot some girls do find me attractive, but in my mind I feel like the ugliest person most of the time.
This girl doesn't respect you, if she did she wouldn't lie. She may not be purposefully disrespecting you, but if not, she has serious problems that you are not capable of dealing with. Especially not since you have a full plate of your own problems. Having a person like you and want you is a wonderful feeling. Yet, if they can't make up their mind, and you are just convient then they don't really want YOU!
I don't have any secrets on how to feel good about yourself, but being around people who respect you is one good place to start. I hope you can find a new girl, but you might not. However, being single, and not really having any luck with the ladies is better than getting your heart ripped out every week. I think that staying busy, and hanging out with insightful people who don't mind listening to you rant and rave would be a good start on the way to get yourself out of this. Avoid her, and think of what you liked about her, and what you've liked in other girls, and concentrate on meeting a person with those traits, and not simply a person who will have you. In the long run you'll be happier. The thing is meeting the right person is a crazy completely luck driven process. I just hope you find some luck.
No amount of false cheer can make a person happy, but knowing that there are people with similar experiences who are willing to listen can make alot of difference. I hope that helps!
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