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ZargonX
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Space
Sep 2002
time: 00:27
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The Daily Blueprint, Vol. 5
Citizens of Legos celebrate as Pyramids are completed!
Jackson, 710 BC: Across the lands of Lego today, people celebrated in the streets and fields as word came that a project envisioned long ago by our many forefathers had been completed.
Dressed in his full ceremonial robes, and flanked by President Vondrack and the full members of the cabinet, Legos the Wise unveiled to the world a shining beacon of Legomen industry, the Great Pyramids.
"It can be seen from miles around! Gleaming in the sun, it makes me so proud to be a Legoman!" said local farmer Grout Tilex. "But," he added, "what exactly is it for?"
This question has been a persistant one during the long years of the Pyramid's construction, one which the government has remained silent on. The Daily Blueprint, however, has recently obtained presidential-level documents revealing the future plans for the structure. President Vondrack intends to entomb himself in the building when the end of his reign finally comes, at which point he will attach "wheels of a girth the world has never seen" as well as "weapons to instill terror in the hearts of men." It is unclear what he plans to do with his so-called "ziggurrat of destruction," though the document does mention creating a "swath of destruction o'er the lands of those infidels who would have dared depose me."
In the meantime, though, local farmers have begun using the empty structure as a convenient location for storing large ammounts of grain. The President's only comments, when informed of these activities, was "****ing peasants."
Military Achitect Sharpe Overthrown in Pre-Agreed Coup
Legopolis, 710 BC: At 7:00 AM this morning, Deputy Secretary of the Air Force ZargonX stormed the offices of Military Architect Sharpe, backed by a loyal cadre of Numidian Mercenaries. "The time has come for change! Power shall be mine!" screamed ZargonX as he burst through the office doors.
The insurrectionists were greeted by a smiling Sharpe, who had already packed his things and thoughtfully cleaned up most of the office.
"You're late. I thought we had agreed on six o'clock?" Sharpe was heard remarking to the group.
"Enough of your lies! The time has come for change!" Zargon countered. Upon realizing he had already said "the time has come for change," Zargon asked the Daily Blueprint reporter on scene to please change the quote to "The winds of change are blowing!"
In response, MA Sharpe handed over the keys to the office, the key to the private bathroom, and a short list of which days which potted plants in the office should be watered.
"Begone from my sight," Zargon cried, "change is upon us!" And with that, he gave the final order for his Mercenaries to assist Sharpe in carrying his things to his waiting carriage.
News From the Vox-Gathering Storm Front
In a Daily Blueprint exclusive, we have been able to "embed" a reporter in the Vox-GS warzone, providing up-to-the-year coverage of events taking place across the world-cube. Veteran reporter Olan Piston brings you his first report.
"This is Olan Piston, reporting from the Voxian city of Wittlich. Do to a translational error, I have been embedded not with the regional engineering corps, but instead with the regional catering corps. That is not to say that I am not getting a first-hand view of the war. Quite the opposite, in fact, I am faced with daily danger and peril. Yesterday, a staff sergeant spilled seering hot coffee on me, requiring immediate application of a cold compress. I was impressed with the speed in which the troops reacted to the situation, including immediately washing my pants as to prevent any staining.
Also, just a few short hours ago, there was a terrible accident in which a mis-aligned catapult fired a large projectile into a nearby supply tent. It was a grusome scene; mustard and mayonaise everywhere. I saw one soldier kneeling on the ground, clutching at a broken bottle of ketchup. It was a scene that will be forever etched in my memory. The condiments that were lost in this tragedy must never be forgotten.
There is a constant stream of Immortals moving to the front coming through our area, and boy can those guys eat! I recently witnessed one of these exotic swordsmen eat fifteen hotdogs in a single sitting. With iron stomachs such as these, I would fear meeting them on the field of battle.
I must end my report here, as the sirens are wailing, indicating that we are on high hunger alert, and the corps must ready as many grilled cheese sandwiches and vats of pudding as they can. In such a dangerous situation as this, I feel I must take immediate shelter. My next report will be filed shortly, as some of the troops and I make a perilous journey to the grocery store, followed by a recon mission to the local brothel."
Last edited by ZargonX on 16-04-2003 at 23:34
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16-04-2003 21:48
One of the best yet!
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