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Space05us
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have they ever actually talkd to a female, like actually held a conversation? maybe they should go talk to ma and sis and ask for advice, and if they think they're above that then theres no hope.
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Spiffor
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CPA - Evil Clone brigade
Nov 2001
time: 06:27
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I have been a virgin/girlfriendless for a very long time, even though not as old as your cousins. I grew resignated to the point of thinking I would never have any girlfriend (not desperate for sex though). However, most of my friends worried about that, and there have been talks of giving me a hooker for my birthday since I have been 16. I never accepted, because I have sweared I wouldn't unvirgin myself (erm, what the word for dépuceler ?) with a professional.
I agree with Kroptokin here. Their desperation to get sex make them believe there is a huge stake whenever they date a woman. This is the main cause of their gaffes. They have to learn how to talk casually with women, and as such they have to encounter them outside dates, they have to talk to them without even thinking of sex. They have to talk to female acquaintances ca. the same way as they would talk to male acquaintances.
It is easier said than done. But it is needed in order to end their communication problem. The mere fact that they can talk casually with women should help giving them enough self-confidence for the next dates.
However, there is a risk associated to it : they can give the impression of being "friends" systematically. I mean, they can look like people who have no interest in women and sex. Hence, women won't think of them as potential lovers at all. This impression can be easily dispelled if they obviously hit on a woman at some social gathering. Even if they fail, it'll be a reminder to all that they are male as well.
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Az
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MACEDONIA - It's the name of the sovereign country to the north of Greece
Apr 2000
time: 07:27
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There is a problem though, spiff. of course, you can say: "who cares?". but what if you have real strong feeling for a girl? If you go after her, most chances are you'll blow it, and that will leave your heart aching. Or, you can try and "practice" on other girls, but then, you'll do relationships "for practice", and, in essense, behave like a real bastard to those women.
God I hate the game.
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Spiffor
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CPA - Evil Clone brigade
Nov 2001
time: 06:27
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If you are in love, don't do this indeed. Or try to do this on your crush. It may work 
If my experience may help : I have known my girlfriend quite shallowly for 4 months before going out with her. I intended to go out with her shortly before it happened, and it quite surprised her too 
My first week of "active lobbying", I just hanged around her very often, which was helped by the many parties that happened this week. However, I didn't spend my whole time with her, and I even spent more time with my friends than with her (she knew it).
At the end of the first week, I've spent the night in her room (not in the same bed), and we've talked during the whole night. At the beginning of the night, I made it perfectly clear that I wanted to go out with her (no brutality in the way of saying it, but it was crystal-clear nonethless), and she refused. We still talked about our lives the whole night, and I didn't even imagine having sex with her at that point. This was however the very moment we have shared most things in our whole relationship.
The following week, I've hanged around her even more, and there were still many parties that allowed it. We even went see a movie, but nothing happened there. Only at the end of the week, she invited me to sleep at ther's after a party, and it was the moment we went out. It wasn't an obvious move for me to go kiss her, but we were more than prepared for it, and she was very receptive.
Our couple is now great
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Az
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MACEDONIA - It's the name of the sovereign country to the north of Greece
Apr 2000
time: 07:27
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Oh, I am in deep ****, my friend. I am afraid I won't be able to do what you said.
I really like what you said about trying it on my crush. "It might work".  , well, it also might NOT work. actually, I am certain that I already tried and it didn't.
Haven't seen her for a couple of months now, and sometimes, when I drive through her neighbourhood, I wonder where she is.
Once, I thought I saw her boarding a taxi. I actually followed the taxi, stealthily, for a couple of Kms, but then, I lost it.
I am pathetic.  
The funny thing is, that despite me being really sad about it ( and generally speaking, very sad, as described above), I can remove that sadness instantly, by saying it will be alright.
now I am smiling again. 
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Flubber
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With a view of the Rockies
Aug 2000
time: 22:27
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The cousins have two separate "problems" here
1. they are virgins and don't want to be . . .The solution is easy since sex CAN be bought-- I don't recommend this but it is their choice-- If they don't want a "professional" there probably would be women that would have a fantasy of taking on virgin twins (assuming they are not Butt-ugly or creepy)
2. they are both awkward around women -- the only solution to this is familiarity and confidence . . you can't give it to them but you can talk to them and teach them-- let them know that a lot of women are just as nervous and awkward as them. Also let them know that crashing and burning will happen and the key is to keep trying.
Give them tips on conversation and asking questions-- Any woman should like to talk about herself and her interests . . . The guy can ask short conversational questions that flow from what she is saying. This relieves the pressure of talking a lot while finding out about the woman. If she asks questions in return, answer them BRIEFLY and honestly before returning things to a topic about her. " Me . . ah my work is mainly negotiating sales of petroleum assets . . I enjoy it but sometimes wish I had more time in the outdoors. Do you get to go out in the field much in your geologist job ?" OR " . . . I enjoy it but I've always enjoyed my outside activities more . . . Didn't I hear somewhere that you are a softball player?"
Its a basic basic technique but I doubt the twins know it. You could even practice it with them .Its not hard and if the guy has knows some stuff about his date, he can be ready and KNOW what he is going to say about the obvious job, schooling and interests topics.
Another suggestion is that perhaps you could double-date with one of them -- that way you can carry the coversation when it lags and bring it to topics where the particular guy can shine a little. If you are smooth enough and have a partner/date that you get along with well, there should be little problem in keeping things going.
Last suggestion-- activity dates -- generally non-competitive is best but if you are touring somewhere, or doinf something fun or difficult, the activities themselves keeps the converstaion going, while the activity fills in awkward spaces.
Problem one would get solved in due course if they find a way past problem 2 but I doubt the converse would be true. The question is which problem bugs them more.
I think they need to work on their dating skills just like they would ANY skill. Just ask a girl out, ANY girl that they find even moderately interesting and attractive. They are NOT selecting a life partner here. The assignment is to interest her enough that they get another date. So he learns her interests and plans a date around that. With very little effort you will find out enough to avoid the gaffe of bringing the vegetarian to the steakhouse
If these guys are non-jerks, they should soon enough have a couple of girls each that seem willing to go out with them. Hopefully they get enough confidence that they can then target woment that really really interest them.
Most of this is super basic but if someone is a 28 year old virgin ( that has not chosen virginity as a lifestyle choice either permanently or until marriage) they need to start with the basics. The sex part will work out
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26-04-2003 01:23
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