28-04-2003 10:13									#1
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After various trials and tribulations lately, the latest being informed that my mother is dying, I've decided that it's time to move on. I'm going to be packing in my life here in Ontario, Canada and moving back to Victoria, BC, a place that has always had a special feeling in my heart. My soul has been badly bruised lately, and I think being there will help me heal it again. At least I hope so.

So by the end of May, I'll have sold or given away almost everything I own, including my computer, and be winging my way out west in search of a new life. I thought I'd say goodbye in advance since I've really come to enjoy hanging out here, and I'll probably miss the place. But since I'll basically be starting from scratch, it might be awhile before I can afford to buy a new computer and get back online again. Which means that most of you that I've come to know here probably won't be around then.

I've made an ass of myself at times, and sometimes got rather petulant with some of the posters here, but for the most part, sharing my thoughts, feelings and opinions have been a good experience. There's a fair number of intelligent, well-informed people that hang out here; though I don't always agree with their views, and I thought I'd take the time to thank you all for the sometimes lively and usually informative debates I've found myself in while I've been hanging out here. And for the thoughts and opinions I've encountered when I was just lurking.

Unfortunately, the list is to long to name you all personally, and I'd be sure to forget a few people if I even tried to. So I'll have to settle for a generic "Have a good life and take care of yourself in case I don't connect with you again."

	28-04-2003 10:15									#2
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Good luck bro.

	28-04-2003 10:24									#3
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Thanks, I'll probably need it. It's been quite awhile since I've just chucked everything and tried again, I'm rather nervous about the idea. But I really think it's the best thing I can do for myself right now. I need to get rid of all the cobwebs that have been accumulating in the closet of my soul the last few years.

	28-04-2003 10:28									#4
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Good luck in the future. If it's any comfort, I envy the fact that you'll be in such a beautiful area, getting away from it all. May be more of a blessing than you think. Drop us a line sometime to let us know how you are.

	28-04-2003 10:37									#5
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Sounds like a soulful journey. Good luck. I hope they're not still mad at my submarine in Esquimalt. We caused an international incident. Yes.

	28-04-2003 10:42									#6
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Good luck. You'll be missed.

	28-04-2003 10:46									#7
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quote: Originally posted by orange Good luck in the future.

Thanks, I just hope I'm not making yet another foolish mistake. I don't think so.

quote: If it's any comfort, I envy the fact that you'll be in such a beautiful area, getting away from it all. May be more of a blessing than you think.

Well that's kind of the point of heading out there.

At the moment, I really need to be reminded that life is a beautiful and wonderous thing. And that's a pretty good place to rediscover those emotions.

quote: Drop us a line sometime to let us know how you are.

Again thanks, I'll see what I can do.

	28-04-2003 10:55									#8
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quote: Originally posted by GP Sounds like a soulful journey.

Yes it will be. I seem to have lost sight of myself lately. I think part of me is still sitting on a beach out there listening to the waves roll in and out.

quote: Good luck. I hope they're not still mad at my submarine in Esquimalt. We caused an international incident. Yes.

Huh? But don't worry, people in Victoria are a pretty forgiving bunch.

	28-04-2003 11:08									#9
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quote: Originally posted by Jaguar Warrior Good luck. You'll be missed.

I'll be around for a little while yet, I won't be leaving until the end of May. But I have to leave on Tuesday to help my sister deal with my mother's impending funeral, so I probably won't be posting very much. So I just figured I may as well say goodbye now before I become a quivering mass of emotions afterwards.

	28-04-2003 11:32									#10
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Take care man. My Dad died after a long illness last year, so I have some idea of what you are going through. Sometimes it probably won't seem quite real, at other times a bit too real. Don't be afraid to ask people for help if you need it - you can get to understand just how good people can be at times like this.

	28-04-2003 11:38									#11
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Good luck, Willem. Take names and kick a**!

	28-04-2003 11:43									#12
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Sorry to hear about your mother and the other stuff happening in your life.

You're right about Victoria being a good place to heal. there's a lot of good place to hang out and think about the world. Saxe Point is great, especially on the days when the rain stops and the sun comes out above the ocean. Or just sitting outside Benny's Bagels on a summer day.

And the music scene was always good, a great tonic to pick up the soul.

Don't be a stranger. There must be some place where you can log on for a while and pay us a visit.

Good luck with everything.

	28-04-2003 11:45									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Agathon Take care man. My Dad died after a long illness last year, so I have some idea of what you are going through. Sometimes it probably won't seem quite real, at other times a bit too real. Don't be afraid to ask people for help if you need it - you can get to understand just how good people can be at times like this.

Yes, my Dad died last summer as well, on my birthday of all days, so I kind of know what I'm getting into. It's going to be a bit easier with my mother since she's been essentialy brain dead for awhile now, due to Alzheimers. Her body is just catching up to her brain.

Still, I'm sure emotions will be running rampant the next week or so. Hell they already are. I was wailing like a wounded animal today after getting off the phone with my sister. It's certainly the last thing I needed in my life at the moment, with all the other crap that's been happening lately.

Hopefully things won't drag out waiting for her to pass away. The nurses at the home she's in don't give her any more than a week though, according to my sister.

	28-04-2003 11:46									#14
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Willem, tuck this place in the back of your mind for future reference.

I once sold everything, bought a pick up and drove from Jersey to Oregon. I'd never been to Oregon or more than a few miles west of Jersey. It worked out very well, changing my entire life.

Happy trails guy.

	28-04-2003 11:51									#15
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Willem:

"Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." — Confucius.

Gatekeeper

	28-04-2003 11:55									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Tingkai Or just sitting outside Benny's Bagels on a summer day.

Geez, that's still there is it? Best bagels in the world IMO. Is it still in the Market Square complex? What about that deli down by the Inner Harbour, Sam's Deli I think it was called. They used to make killer sandwiches there, and cheescake too.

quote: And the music scene was always good, a great tonic to pick up the soul.

Chances are I'll be part of it, at least for street performing. I spent over 5 years busking last time I lived there. I don't suppose you know how much a license costs do you?

quote: Don't be a stranger. There must be some place where you can log on for a while and pay us a visit.

Yeah, I'm sure I can get use of a computer at the library sometime.

quote: Good luck with everything.

Thanks.

	28-04-2003 11:58									#17
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I am sorry about your mom

I don't really know what to say, it has been a long time since someone close to me has died

Jon Miller

	28-04-2003 11:59									#18
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quote: Originally posted by Willem Yes, my Dad died last summer as well, on my birthday of all days, so I kind of know what I'm getting into. It's going to be a bit easier with my mother since she's been essentialy brain dead for awhile now, due to Alzheimers. Her body is just catching up to her brain.

My Dad died on my mother's birthday of all days (I think he was hanging around because the doctors declared him doomed numerous times - much to his amusement). Stay strong man. I managed to assuage my own grief a bit by helping other people who were doing worse than I was. Take care and do come back if you can help it.

	28-04-2003 11:59									#19
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Hey man, good luck!

As said in Field in Dreams: "Hey Rookie! You were good"

	28-04-2003 11:59									#20
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quote: Originally posted by Lancer Willem, tuck this place in the back of your mind for future reference. I once sold everything, bought a pick up and drove from Jersey to Oregon. I'd never been to Oregon or more than a few miles west of Jersey. It worked out very well, changing my entire life. Happy trails guy.

Well this certainly won't be the first time I've packed up and left, in fact I did that on a regular basis when I was younger. Which is one reason why I'm willing to do it again. Things always worked out before, I see no reason why it shouldn't again.

I'm just a little out practise.

	28-04-2003 12:01									#21
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I think Benny's is still there. Haven't heard that it closed, although the last time I lived in Victoria was in 96-97.

Sam's Deli? I think I know the one you're talking about.

A busker for five years. Well, at least you don't have to worry about cash flows.

	28-04-2003 12:09									#22
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quote: Originally posted by Agathon My Dad died on my mother's birthday of all days

There should be a law about someone dying on a loved one's birthday, it sucks.

quote: Stay strong man. I managed to assuage my own grief a bit by helping other people who were doing worse than I was.

Yeah I'm leaving on Tuesday, hoping I can make things easier for my sister. There's not much I can do for my mother, she probably won't even know I'm there. But if it gives my sister a break, I'll be able to do some good being there.

quote: Take care and do come back if you can help it.

Well I'll see what I can do. I hope I won't be computerless for long, but I can't make any predictions right now.

	28-04-2003 12:12									#23
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quote: Originally posted by Gatekeeper "Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart." — Confucius.

That's why I intend to leave, I want to find my heart again. I think I left a part of it by the ocean more than 10 years ago, and I want it back.

	28-04-2003 12:17									#24
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Very sad story that. I feel with you and wish you good luck for the future. A new start is often for the better, I had one myself three years ago, and I don't regret it. You have always been one of the posters I respect and mostly agree with. I surely will miss you and would be happy, if you would return some day. Just don't forget the name A-PO-LY-TON.

	28-04-2003 12:17									#25
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quote: Originally posted by Jon Miller I don't really know what to say, it has been a long time since someone close to me has died

Consider yourself lucky. My family has been dropping like flies lately. In the last year I lost my Dad, two uncles and a cousin, and now my mother is on her way out. I could have lost my sister-in-law as well, but fortunately they caught her heart condition in time.

Life sucks sometimes.

	28-04-2003 12:19									#26
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quote: Originally posted by Tingkai A busker for five years. Well, at least you don't have to worry about cash flows.

You've never been a busker have you?

	28-04-2003 12:25									#27
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The closest I've come is selling luggage on the street, which is pretty close to begging for money.

I just figure that anyone who can make a living at busking for five years must be able to make some cash.

	28-04-2003 12:29									#28
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quote: Originally posted by Sir Ralph Very sad story that.

That's only part of it. Last month I lost my livelihood, so I had to give notice on the place I've been calling home for the last 5 years. Life's been giving me a swift kick in the teeth lately.

quote: A new start is often for the better, I had one myself three years ago, and I don't regret it.

Well I'm finding myself so bogged down with regrets and might-have-beens that I feel the only way to rise above it all is to leave and try again. And Victoria is a beautiful place to go lick my wounds.

quote: You have always been one of the posters I respect and mostly agree with. I surely will miss you and would be happy, if you would return some day.

Why thank you very much Sir Ralph, and let me say that I've always had respect for you as well.

quote: Just don't forget the name A-PO-LY-TON.

Don't worry, I won't.

	28-04-2003 12:31									#29
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yes

Victoria's very pretty

hopefully everything goes as well as possible for you

Jon Miller

	28-04-2003 12:35									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Tingkai I just figure that anyone who can make a living at busking for five years must be able to make some cash.

There's good days and there's bad days. It's pretty tough trying to earn a living from it, most buskers just do it for extra cash. Though there have been times when I've hit the jackpot, especially around Christmas.