22-05-2003 04:09									#31
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Well the smart dogs escaped

	22-05-2003 08:48									#32
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http://www.foreignbrideguide.com/russian_humor.html

What was the nationality of Adam and Eve?
-Russian of course. Why else would they think they're in Paradise when they were homeless, naked, and just had one apple for both of them?

Brezhnev asks Kosigin:
- How many Jews live in our country?
- Approximately 3-4 million.
- And how many would leave if we let them go?
- About 10-15 million...

Brezhnev gives his radio address to the Russian people:
Comrades! I have 2 important anonuncements for you - one joyful and one wistful. The wistful news is that during the next 7 years we'll eat nothing but ****. And the joyful one is that there will be an abundance of it.

A teacher asks:
- Vovochka, who is your father?
- Comrade Stalin.
- Well, who is your mother?
- Our Soviet motherland.
- And what do you want to be?
- An orphan....

	22-05-2003 08:58									#33
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5 Rules of Soviet Communism

1. Don't think
2. If you do think, don't speak
3. If you think and speak, don't write
4. If you think, speak and write, don't sign
5. If you think, spead, write and sign, don't be surprised

Kremlin fried chicken... get ready for this one: http://www.vgg.com/kfc/index.html

Yao want you! http://www.freewebs.com/munist/

Last edited by Zero on 22-05-2003 at 09:10

	22-05-2003 10:27									#34
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One night, Erich Honnecker was in the bedchamber having some pillow talk with his mistress. He was in a magnanimous mood and offered her a present of her choice. She thought about his offer for a moment and then replied, "Oh, Erich, if there is one thing I would like you to do for me, it is this: open the borders just for one day." Honnecker said, "Of course, my dear," but was a bit puzzled by her request. He asked, "But why would you have me do such a thing?" The mistress replied, "I want to be alone with you."

http://www.ahajokes.com/russia_jokes.html

Last edited by Voltaire on 22-05-2003 at 10:33

	22-05-2003 17:35									#35
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Soviet Onion: A Ukraine-sized onion, sectioned and deep-fried and topped with the glory of the working classes. Served with beet-ranch dressing.

The other puns are even worse. That site is a real "groanathon" Comrade Zero. I nearly died reading the menu.

-Jam

	23-05-2003 12:22									#36
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Comrade Jam,

Can we finally get an explanation of why you changed your name? "War of Art" was so great. It successfully conjured up themes of war, art and SUn Tzu, and I thought was one of the classier nicks on Apolyton, alongside myself and My Wife Hates Civ.

I just got off work and sucked down a Foster's oilcan* so classify this post under drunken ramblings.


* a 25oz can of Foster's lager. Sorry, I have no idea what that is in metric.

	23-05-2003 17:45									#37
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I like Jamski better - I didn't want to hide behind "War of Art" any more - I am a real Jamski - people call me Jamski to my face - Its shorter - War of Art wasn't what I originally wanted, but "Art of Jam" was taken - I'm Jamski in MSN and IRC - Mrs Jamski didn't like beings Mrs War Of Art - War of Art is rejected my gamespy beacuse its too "rude" - Waro Fart - enough reasons yet?

Although you're not the only one that prefered War Of Art.... he may return one day.... In about a year, perhaps.

And Jamski sounds more "Hiverian"

And I've been signing off all of my posts like this ever since I started on 'poly :

-Jam

	24-05-2003 00:22									#38
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So you're saying it was a spur of the moment decision.

	24-05-2003 03:00									#39
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quote: Originally posted by Jamski Soviet Onion: A Ukraine-sized onion, sectioned and deep-fried and topped with the glory of the working classes. Served with beet-ranch dressing. The other puns are even worse. That site is a real "groanathon" Comrade Zero. I nearly died reading the menu. -Jam

thats why I said get ready for it comrade jamski

	25-05-2003 03:35									#40
	Got spare money?

There was just something about a onion the size of the Ukraine that hit my "gigglespot", I mean - onion the size of Texas *yawns* the moon *yawns* but the Ukraine juts gets me giggling, and then "topped with the glory of the working classes" is one of the funniest things I ever read - and no, I don't know why

@ Static : Yes - It was actually.

-Jam

	25-05-2003 03:41									#41
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quote: * a 25oz can of Foster's lager. Sorry, I have no idea what that is in metric.

1.) Foster's lager is actually illegal in Germany to call beer.
2.) What's 25oz in pints?
3.) Metric? About 14 millipedes I think
4.) You must have been drunk - the correct punctuation should be :

quote: * a 25oz can of Foster's lager, sorry. I have no idea what that is in metric.

then you can apologise for drinking that insult to beer.

(yes I'm a beer fan, and I've had 2000ml already this evening)

-Jam

	25-05-2003 04:39									#42
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quote: Originally posted by Jamski 1.) Foster's lager is actually illegal in Germany to call beer.

Unfortunately it was the best thing they had at the gas station.

quote: 2.) What's 25oz in pints?

1.5625 Pints US
1.301054 Pints UK

quote: 3.) Metric? About 14 millipedes I think

quote: (yes I'm a beer fan, and I've had 2000ml already this evening)

	25-05-2003 05:08									#43
	Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

And now I'm on the wine (hey it's FRIDAY early Sunday morning) Can't be arsed to write anthing amueisng, just MAAAAAAAAAAARCH ON COMRADES ! ! ! (Or the rec tanks await )

-Jam

	25-05-2003 05:22									#44
	Remove this text

quote: Originally posted by Jamski And now I'm on the wine (hey it's FRIDAY early Sunday morning) Can't be arsed to write anthing amueisng, just MAAAAAAAAAAARCH ON COMRADES ! ! ! (Or the rec tanks await ) -Jam

Sounds like fun.

I was supposed to go to a "Young Frankenstein"/"Rocky Horror Picture Show" double feature playing at a local music hall/bar, but everybody canceled at the last minute and now I have nothing to do.

And my roommate has his daughter and her friend over for the weekend, so I can't even wander around the house drunk either. Plus I have to sneak into the basement to smoke a cigarette.

And the bar around the corner is full of annoying college students on Saturdays so I don't want to go there.

What a crappy night.

	25-05-2003 05:28									#45
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Heh I was at a party earlier where I was the only one drinking, the only one smoking and the only non-Christian. Plus it was a BBQ, and I'm a vegee, so it was generally pretty POOR. I have to sit on the roof to have a cig, if its any consolation.... and its a thunderstorm here at the moment.... have to knd of lean out with an umbrella and hope I don't get struck by lightning

-Jam

	25-05-2003 05:35									#46
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quote: Originally posted by Jamski Heh I was at a party earlier where I was the only one drinking, the only one smoking and the only non-Christian. Plus it was a BBQ, and I'm a vegee, so it was generally pretty POOR.

I stopped going to parties like that a long time ago. The last BBQ I was at the host was so drunk he fell into the fire.

Of course, I was the only heterosexual male there, so I know what it's like to feel out of place.

	25-05-2003 05:44									#47
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There were LOADS of dead fit girls though.... yummm those god-lovers sure scrub up sweet Padlocked pants though, of course - and Mrs Jamski would f***ing KILL me.

I don't know WHY I went, really. I only knew the host, and he's an ex-work collegue, not like I like him or something.

-Jam

	25-05-2003 07:39									#48
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I was at the air show today. And every time those supersonic jets with their mindblowing noises go by us, my just-budded-precious-flower-of-the-motherland would let out a fierce cry that is even louder than the jets. Of course that great family outing didn't last very long.

	25-05-2003 08:37									#49
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I'd cry too. Do you know the statistics on air show plane crashes? Not good...

	25-05-2003 15:12									#50
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What in the world? Comrade Frankychan has internet problems and things go crazy-house here. Well, I'm back!

"Thing's look in order here....Move along."

	25-05-2003 17:02									#51
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* Jamski feels pretty rotten today :vomit:

-Jam

	26-05-2003 01:17									#52
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quote: Originally posted by Jamski * Jamski feels pretty rotten today :vomit: -Jam

That's what you get for mixing beer and wine!

	26-05-2003 03:27									#53
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Well no wastage, back into the recycling tanks it goes.

	26-05-2003 06:25									#54
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Yummy, that I didn't want to think about today, in my fragile state.

-Jam

	29-05-2003 06:08									#55
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In a communist government, violations of human rights are left unspoken. For they are against the state.
In a Democratic government, violations of human rights are left unspoken. For they are not newsworthy.

	18-06-2003 15:13									#56
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^ Bump ^

Remember this thread? Oh, what fun he had in those simple days when we first crashlanded...

The jokes, the rants, the joke about the rants, the rants about the jokes... How I miss those days...

And HongHu... Remember HongHu? Hard to believe there used to be threads she only posted once in...

	18-06-2003 18:47									#57
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And threads she never set her eyes on ...

	19-06-2003 01:58									#58
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Q: What's the difference between Bush and Hitler?

A: Hitler was elected.

	19-06-2003 05:31									#59
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How we newbies spammed a lot blossumed from those early days.

	19-06-2003 08:32									#60
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Like we don't do that now?