20-05-2003 08:31									#1
	Stoopid Ensign. Suffering from ads?

This afternoon the only two people in 32nd St Naval Station's were myself, and a GSM3 (E-4). Phone rings.

It was my roommate, a FC3 (E4), "Hey Bucher, they'll be an Ensign S0-and-so along shortly, play along.

"Uhm, okay."

Sure enough, an Boot Ensign walked in. Nothing on his chest except for the warm body ribbon everyong has.

"Can I help you sir?"

"Yes Seaman, I'm looking for a battery for a sound-powered Telephone."

Long silence.

GSM3 (E-4 with me) says "I beg your pardon Sir?

Ensign repeats. "A FC3 over at the Firecontrol School supply office sent me here."

Me: "Well sir, We'll all out of batteries for sound-powered phones. I think the Shiloh has some, they're at Pier one."

Ensign leaves for Shiloh.

45 minutes later....

"You think this is F--king funny? I'm going to write all of you up!"

"Go ahead sir, the Capitain will laugh at you."

He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a *sound-powered* telephone would have batteries.

Dumbass.

Our best and brightest at work.

	20-05-2003 08:34									#2
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It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.

	20-05-2003 08:35									#3
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Good to see somethings haven't changed!!!!

Wait until they send somebody for a bucket of steam.

Are you on a ship?

ACK!

	20-05-2003 08:37									#4
	Increase the size of your Attachments

quote: Originally posted by Apocalypse It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.

Yes, it is totally stupid.

	20-05-2003 08:39									#5
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quote: Originally posted by Apocalypse It's not totally stupid. Gas-powered cars still need batteries.

Not to make gas they don't.

ACK!

	20-05-2003 08:52									#6
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The battery was to warm up the telephone's handset. Obviously!

	20-05-2003 08:52									#7
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I'm waiting for the Bunker Hill to come in.

	20-05-2003 08:55									#8
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quote: Originally posted by Skanky Burns The battery was to warm up the telephone's handset. Obviously!

A soundpowered Telephone is exactly what it sounds like. There is no need for batteries.

	20-05-2003 09:50									#9
	Full PM-box? Change here!

Hehehe.

I did something like that last summer to one of the kids who worked for me. He was a complete stoner, so I decided to give him some ****.

I had him go to each of the bars withing walking distance to ask for a "Bottle Stretcher". Needless to say, his parents called to file a complaint with the boss

	20-05-2003 10:25									#10
	Re: Stoopid Ensign. Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

I've heard and done variations of this joke (In the air force ya tell the guy to get a bucket of propwash) so I was thinking same-old, same-old until I read this:

quote: Originally posted by Lonestar He wrote ALL of us up, went to his CO, who asked why on Earth he thought a *sound-powered* telephone would have batteries.

That's friggen unbelieveable
He wrote all of you up!!!

What a twit.

	20-05-2003 12:35									#11
	Tired of ads?

Did the Ensingn have his sense of humour removed along with his intelligence

	20-05-2003 15:43									#12
	Remove this text

You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.

	20-05-2003 15:51									#13
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quote: Originally posted by Sava You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.

The US have the best equipment, personnel is another matter.

Anyway don't most Junior officers go through a phase of thinking they are really important until someone points out ther're not

	20-05-2003 17:04									#14
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quote: Originally posted by Sava You know what's really sad? If there are dumbasses like that in America's military, how dumb must other militaries be if we're the best.

Soldiers don't fight with intelligence. American is the best because they're the stupidest.

	20-05-2003 17:46									#15
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In the submarine service we had another way of treating ensigns (who were not qualified in subs):

Captain: The reason I called you together this morning is to introduce Ensign Le Blank. I expected him to be treated with the full dignity and respect that the US Navy affords to a regular line officer and one of America's finest -- Throw him over the side!

Then we got to throw him over the side but we always took his hat so it wouldn't get wet. Then when he was struggling in the water we would throw it to him. This was always great fun.

	21-05-2003 02:19									#16
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quote: Originally posted by Immortal Wombat Soldiers don't fight with intelligence. American is the best because they're the stupidest.

I'm in Naval Intelligence.

	21-05-2003 02:23									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Lonestar I'm in Naval Intelligence.

Don't help him please.



ACK!

	21-05-2003 02:26									#18
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quote: Originally posted by Tuberski Don't help him please. ACK!

You're just jealous because I get to act all secretive but it turns out I'm just lounging around all day playing Diablo II.

	21-05-2003 02:29									#19
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quote: Originally posted by Lonestar You're just jealous because I get to act all secretive but it turns out I'm just lounging around all day playing Diablo II.

I know very well what a crypto tech does.



Are you on a ship or a shore command?

ACK!

	21-05-2003 02:36									#20
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

Like I said, I'm working at the "1st Lieutenant" (read: Pick up trash around base) while waiting for the Bunker Hill to pull in. I'm a CTMSN, although I'll be putting on a crow in a month.

	21-05-2003 02:41									#21
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quote: Originally posted by Lonestar Like I said, I'm working at the "1st Lieutenant" (read: Pick up trash around base) while waiting for the Bunker Hill to pull in. I'm a CTMSN, although I'll be putting on a crow in a month.

Excellent, I never had to do the 1st. Lieutenant stuff luckily.

You will get to your ship and go Mess cranking shortly.

That is my prediction.

Wish I was there to "tack on" the crow when you get it.



ACK!

	21-05-2003 02:44									#22
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quote: Originally posted by Tuberski Excellent, I never had to do the 1st. Lieutenant stuff luckily. You will get to your ship and go Mess cranking shortly. That is my prediction. Wish I was there to "tack on" the crow when you get it. ACK!

Yeah, I get that a lot.

	25-05-2003 21:07									#23
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Ahh, to be a CT

Must be nicenot having to do any work. However, US Aircrewmen that fly 53's, now there a job. You try moving a hundred thousand punds of cargo to a carrier in one day.

At least I get to go home soon.

BTW, I am going to be an officer soon. STA-21 But I dont think anyone is going to get me with those ricks, such as:

Lightbulbs for the brightworks
10 Feet of Gig Line
Padeye Removers for flightline padeyes
Ignition Keys for the helicopters

Did you make third on the test? I missed second by .15 Stupid quotas

	25-05-2003 22:33									#24
	Enter the AD-FREE zone

But you will go and get a 'Long weight' when asked

	25-05-2003 22:46									#25
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My buddy in the Air Farce used to tell me stories like that all the time. Apparently there were a bunch of extra shoes lying around in one room, and his duty commander told him to put them in a box and take them to the trash. As he was walking past the COs office, he asked what my friend was doing, so he said he was collecting shoes for orphans. So his CO gave him some shoes.

	26-05-2003 00:15									#26
	Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

quote: Originally posted by Midshipman Ahh, to be a CT Must be nicenot having to do any work. However, US Aircrewmen that fly 53's, now there a job. You try moving a hundred thousand punds of cargo to a carrier in one day. At least I get to go home soon. BTW, I am going to be an officer soon. STA-21 But I dont think anyone is going to get me with those ricks, such as: Lightbulbs for the brightworks 10 Feet of Gig Line Padeye Removers for flightline padeyes Ignition Keys for the helicopters Did you make third on the test? I missed second by .15 Stupid quotas

Hush, you airdale.

CTM's get pushbutton 3rds after time in rate.

	26-05-2003 20:54									#27
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Lonestar, we need a new key to lock in vacuum. Write a chit up for the Chop to sign.

	27-05-2003 01:58									#28
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quote: Originally posted by GP Lonestar, we need a new key to lock in vacuum. Write a chit up for the Chop to sign.

Somehow I suspect you have an ulterior motive.

	27-05-2003 02:13									#29
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quote: Originally posted by GP Lonestar, we need a new key to lock in vacuum. Write a chit up for the Chop to sign.

You will need an ID-10-T form for that......

ACK!

	27-05-2003 02:23									#30
	Got spare money?

quote: Originally posted by Tuberski You will need an ID-10-T form for that...... ACK!

Yeah, we had those in A School...