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Apolyton Civilization Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.0.3 Apolyton Civilization Forums > Miscellaneous > Archive > Off-Topic-Archive > The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq.
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Comrade Tassadar is offline Comrade Tassadar
Settler

Aug 2005
time: 05:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:48 Visit Comrade Tassadar's homepage!
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#1 Report this post to a moderator
The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq. Support Apolyton

Saw this on a Yahoo Message Board, thought it was amusing

quote:
 WMD WERE TAKEN TO HEAVEN BY JESUS!!


PRIOR TO THE WAR THERE WERE TONS OF CHEMICAL AND BIOLOGICAL WEAPONS!! BEFORE THE BATTLE BEGAN SOLDIERS WERE ASKED TO PRAY FOR OUR CHRISTIAN PRESIDENT AND JESUS ANSWERED THEIR PRAYERS!!
AS THE BATTLE BEGAN, JESUS SWEPT DOWN WITH THE HOLY GHOST ON HIS RIGHT AND THE SPIRIT OF THE BLESSED VIRGIN ON HIS LEFT. BEFORE THEY KNEW WHAT HIT THEM THE EVIL MUSLIMS' WMD WERE SWEPT TO HEAVEN!!
THAT IS WHY WE WILL NOT FIND THEM ANYMORE IN IRAQ!! JESUS DID NOT WANT THEM USED ON OUR BLESSED CHRISTIAN ARMY!!

IF YOU WANT TO SEE THE IRAQI WMD YOU MUST FIRST BECOME A TRUE CHRISTIAN AND THEN AFTER YOU FLY FLY FLY UP TO HEAVEN YOU WILL FIND THEM BEHIND THE PEARLY GATES!!!

PRAISE JESUS CHRIST!! PRAISE MR.BUSH!!!!

Tuberski is offline Tuberski
Emperor
ACK!!! PTHBBPPPTTT!!!!
Feb 2002
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:49 Visit Tuberski's homepage!
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#2 Report this post to a moderator
Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

I thought that they used all of their WMD to destroy all of their WMD.....

ACK!
loinburger is offline loinburger
Emperor
Sweet Sauce Jones
Jul 1999
time: 00:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:51 Visit loinburger's homepage!
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#3 Report this post to a moderator
Support Apolyton

There are WMD in heaven? Wutang!
monkspider is offline monkspider
King
banned
Aug 2001
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:52
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Truly classic.
monolith94 is offline monolith94
Emperor
New England
Jan 1970
time: 00:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:52 Visit monolith94's homepage!
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Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Atheists go to hell and WMDs are taken to heaven? Nice priorities, god!
DinoDoc is offline DinoDoc
Emperor
AECCP loves Democracy
Sep 1999
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:53
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#6 Report this post to a moderator
Suffering from ads?

quote:
 Originally posted by loinburger
There are WMD in heaven? Wutang!
Satan is in trouble.
Asher is offline Asher
King
Calgary, Alberta
Nov 1999
time: 22:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:53 Visit Asher's homepage!
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Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

quote:
The REAL reason why we can't find WoMD in Iraq.

The Russians stole them.
Inverse Icarus is offline Inverse Icarus
Emperor
flying too low to the ground
May 2001
time: 00:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 08:59 Visit Inverse Icarus's homepage!
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#8 Report this post to a moderator
Tired of ads?

to quote the daily show "The government claimed that Iraq had many weapons of mass destruction, so many they couldn't have destroyed them all this quickly. UNLESS they had weapons of mass destruction"

i believe it was mo rocca that said it.
Spiffor is offline Spiffor
Emperor
CPA - Evil Clone brigade
Nov 2001
time: 06:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:15
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Put an end to popups!

This means we must obviously attack heaven now
Lorizael is offline Lorizael
Prince
The Cult Wins
Sep 2001
time: 00:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:20
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#10 Report this post to a moderator
Put an end to popups!

So Spiffor, would your real name, by any chance, be Lucifer?

But why would God take them to heaven? Why wouldn't he just poof them out of existence? Agh, the idiocy hurts my brain!
DinoDoc is offline DinoDoc
Emperor
AECCP loves Democracy
Sep 1999
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:22
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Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

quote:
 Originally posted by Lorizael
So Spiffor, would your real name, by any chance, be Lucifer?
Does that mean France is Hell?

Lorizael is offline Lorizael
Prince
The Cult Wins
Sep 2001
time: 00:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:25
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#12 Report this post to a moderator
Lose 30 kilos (of popups)



Great news for Dubbaya
Serb is offline Serb
Prince
Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Nov 2001
time: 11:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:27
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quote:
 Originally posted by Asher

The Russians stole them.


And sold it to Canadians.
Asher is offline Asher
King
Calgary, Alberta
Nov 1999
time: 22:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:31 Visit Asher's homepage!
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Tired of ads?

Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
DinoDoc is offline DinoDoc
Emperor
AECCP loves Democracy
Sep 1999
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:32
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#15 Report this post to a moderator
Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote:
 Originally posted by Asher
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.
They're making the army deal with the Sea Kings a while longer.

Last edited by DinoDoc on 03-06-2003 at 09:38
Serb is offline Serb
Prince
Siberia, Communist party of Apolyton
Nov 2001
time: 11:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:36
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quote:
 Originally posted by Asher
Where did the Canadians get enough money to buy them?? Jeez.

Where did the Russians get enough James Bonds to stole them?
Asher is offline Asher
King
Calgary, Alberta
Nov 1999
time: 22:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:40 Visit Asher's homepage!
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quote:
 Originally posted by Serb
Where did the Russians get enough James Bonds to stole them?

Enslaved Chechnians.
The Mad Monk is offline The Mad Monk
Emperor
of Ice Cream
Mar 2000
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 09:42
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#18 Report this post to a moderator
Put an end to popups!

You're right. The current Russian intelligence services couldn't steal the formula for New Coke.
Urban Ranger is offline Urban Ranger
Apolyton Duke of Off-Topic

Donate to the Red Cross		 The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
May 1999
time: 13:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 10:05
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#19 Report this post to a moderator
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Neither could CIA.

The Mad Monk is offline The Mad Monk
Emperor
of Ice Cream
Mar 2000
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 10:40
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Could too!
Urban Ranger is offline Urban Ranger
Apolyton Duke of Off-Topic

Donate to the Red Cross		 The City State of Noosphere, CPA special envoy
May 1999
time: 13:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 10:42
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Saint Marcus is offline Saint Marcus
King
Scio Me Nihil Scire
Jan 1970
time: 06:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 19:08 Visit Saint Marcus's homepage!
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#22 Report this post to a moderator
Remove this text

let's build a ladder to heaven and find out...

:hmm:
TheStinger is offline TheStinger
Warlord
International crime fighting playboy
Apr 2002
time: 05:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 19:10
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#23 Report this post to a moderator
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Jesus is just a hippy socialist and is clearly a threat to the US, he needs to be sent to Guantanamo for re-education
Sava is offline Sava
King
GO GO GO!
Mar 2001
time: 23:28
  Old Post 03-06-2003 20:44
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#24 Report this post to a moderator
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quote:
 Originally posted by TheStinger
Jesus is just a hippy socialist and is clearly a threat to the US, he needs to be sent to Guantanamo for re-education
I agree
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