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GeneralTacticus
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of Melbourne, Australia
Dec 2001
time: 15:28
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The University Science Monitor, Issue #3 – The Official Newspaper of the Planet University of Technology
Major Scientific Breakthrough – Factionwide Celebrations Reported
by GeneralTacticus
University leaders today announced the completion of the mysterious “Project Pavlov”, initiated under high secrecy in the MY 2106, with the intention of “discovering the Secrets of the Human Brain”, as one scientist working on the project summed it up. Until now, knowledge of the project’s existence was permitted only to senior Faculty members and those directly working on it, but upon completion of the research security was deemed to no longer be a factor, and the information is to be released. Details of the actual science will be published in the domestic issue of this newspaper.
The declaration of success reportedly sparked jubilation throughout University academia, as the team responsible (numbering in the hundreds) received universal acclaim and congratulation, and every scientist whose field of study even vaguely involved the principles elucidated rushed to make use of the new information in their own research. Further scientific advancements are expected in the near future.
In related news, analysts at the Geopolitics Faculty working under Professor Tacticus have produced a report indicating that not only is the Planet University of Technology now number 1 in science, but that it is also the leading faction overall.
Scientists ‘Baffled’ by Strange Landmarks
by GeneralTacticus
Scientists accompanying scouts from the University Geographic Faculty have expressed bafflement at new landmarks being discovered, which appeared to defy any explanation of why they were there. The team’s leader remarked, “Some of them look like that monolith thing that was connected to the temporal anomaly, but some of them just defy any kind of classification at all. Given that they are obviously not natural formations, but they appear to be beyond any human capacity to build, we’re stumped as to who built them – and, for that matter, why.”
There have reportedly been some attempts to conduct tests on these new landmarks to identify some of their properties, but according to sources with the Geographical Faculty, nothing has shown up yet.
Science Team Begins Experimentation with Lasers
by GeneralTacticus
The University Physics Faculty has confirmed that their newly constructed lab in Zoloto-Gold will be involved in a series of experiments involving high-powered lasers and their effects on various materials. While the Faculty refused to either confirm or deny whether such research would have military applications, members of the Faculty of Geopolitics stated very explicitly that this research, if successful, would have direct military applications, with the potential for more such uses later. “We’re hoping that this will lead to further developments in the fields of advanced mathematics and material manipulation, with the consequent benefits for our military.” Remarked one senior Professor at the Geopolitics Faculty. The Physics Faculty predicted that the lab would show results “within five to ten years.”
Preliminary Findings Released on ‘Xenofungus’
by GeneralTacticus
The Faculty of Xenobiology has published a short paper detailing initial findings form the investigation into the mysterious ‘xenofungus’ fields. Among other things, scientists have discovered that:
- The fungus appears to function in a similar way to the human nervous system scaled up.
- The entire planetary ecosystem seems to revolve around the fungus, with most animal species being either engaged in symbiosis with the fungus, or connected to species which are.
- The fungus is also capable of spawning strange life forms, although none have been found yet. The report expresses hope that someone will find an example of a fungal-spawned life form soon.
- Xenofungal fields are astoundingly resilient and adaptable, capable of existing in virtually any kind of terrain (including the open sea) and of surviving all efforts to date to clear some of the fields for other purposes.
More news on all these topics and more as it comes in.
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04-06-2003 14:55
(his mark)
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