24-06-2003 08:30									#1
	I decided to start a blog Put an end to popups!

but not about me. Though I pretend it's really me, but
it's my fictional character called Randy Berliner, up and
coming pornstar. Or wannabe pornstar. A male actor
who tries to find his place under the sun in the hard
world of porn industry.

I haven't exactly followed blogs, but can you give me any tips how to maintain it? What are the nono's and things I must remember? Any experienced readers/writers?
What makes you get hooked on someones blog?
I'm trying to work with my writing, since I tend to write too fast and that leaves me with bad grammar etc.
I'm trying to learn writing in a way where I describe what is important (like how someone looks, what is the atmosphere etc) but it's not very easy. I developed a mind where I don't have to think about what I want to say in finnish, it comes in english to my head but that's bad because it's one of the things that makes my text not very good and also lots of mistakes that make me sound like I'm retarded. So, any help?

Also I've been thinking.. should I be Randy Berliner or Dieter Berliner? My character is living in the US.

	24-06-2003 08:33									#2
	Inflate your Upload Space

Randy, it's more American than Dieter.

ACK!

	24-06-2003 08:34									#3
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quote: I haven't exactly followed blogs, but can you give me any tips how to maintain it? What are the nono's and things I must remember? Any experienced readers/writers?

Well, #1 rule is to avoid excessive quiz type things. But that doesn't really apply here. Write well, write fluently, but don't use elaborate words when smaller ones work just as well.

quote: What makes you get hooked on someones blog?

Introspection, the little details, and generally something going on in their life...

And Randy Berliner, not Dieter.

	24-06-2003 08:49									#4
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Ok.. I thought Dieter would be way more cooler, but it would indicate me being German too much. Then again that way I could get away with my bad grammar.

So I figure the most important things are to have good stuff happening, but not make it too unbelievable. Then text must be fluent and good but still easy reading and flowing. This is where I have troubles. I'll master it!

Oh, and do blogs usually have any pictures? Or is it forbidden.. because I'd like to post a picture every now and then (once in a month or so)? I have perfect equipment to make myself Randy Berliner!

I really like the name, but here are other names I came up with, so if you like these better, please say so.
Of course I can use these later as my co-workers and as the names of the people I meet on my way to the top (or bottom).

Andy “Handy” Johnson
Desmond Grabber
P. Rick Steele
Derrek Norlander
Linda Cheeks
Loretta Young
Ruby Chest
Trixie Partridge
Elly Vellgrove

.. I know the last names are for women, but I just listed them as well so you can say which ones are real bad from the start. What do you think?

I'm trying to make a blog, so that readers are not really absolutely sure am I kidding, or if I'm real.

	24-06-2003 08:51									#5
	Remove this text

Randy Berliner is a much better porn name since it plays off of the English slang word "randy" as in she got rather randy with me.

	24-06-2003 09:15									#6
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quote: Originally posted by Asher Well, #1 rule is to avoid excessive quiz type things. But that doesn't really apply here. Write well, write fluently, but don't use elaborate words when smaller ones work just as well.

What do you mean by quiz type of things?

	24-06-2003 09:19									#7
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"What national anthem are you?"
"What underwear brand are you?"
"What underwater sea turtle are you?"

	24-06-2003 09:21									#8
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I'm not sure what you mean?

	24-06-2003 09:22									#9
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You see them all the time on many blogs -- they're silly little things where you answer 10 questions or so and it assigns you a category/item, and everyone posts it to their blogs...

	24-06-2003 09:24									#10
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ok, thanks for trying . I'm even more confused!

	24-06-2003 09:37									#11
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Aaarrrggghhh!!!

	24-06-2003 09:39									#12
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I just don't understand why would you have to answer any questions? Are they polls? I'm not that familiar with blogs... And then you get something and magically everyone posts them to their blogs?!!

I know Asher put it in a real simple way but I just have problems understanding this..

	24-06-2003 09:41									#13
	Increase Your PM Length

They're quizes people take for themselves, and post their results on their blogs.

Sometimes they can tell people things about you they may not know, but some people abuse them and their blogs turn out to be nothing more than quiz result after quiz result...

Other people use their blogs to vent only, about people who they know IRL who piss them off. Also not a good idea.

They're usually themed "What kind of _________ are you?". Then the author of the blog takes the quiz, it tells him "You are a ________!" followed by a description of what it means, like "You are a shy and reserved fellow, a closet rapist.". They post the results on their blog...

	24-06-2003 09:43									#14
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Asher, NOW I got it! Heureka! Thanks .

No, that certainly was not my intention. It was to create a fictional character, supposedly real, whose job is different from others.

	24-06-2003 10:20									#15
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Remember to use the phrase 'my pulsating spam-javelin' often. It's going to take America by the storm, it is!

	24-06-2003 23:26									#16
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Stefu, nice one

Though I'm not going to concentrate on describing sex acts... just the life.

	24-06-2003 23:28									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Pekka Heureka!

There's a man who knows his Greek accents.

I've added one gold star next to your name in my Apolyton Poster Rating System.

	24-06-2003 23:50									#18
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quote: Though I'm not going to concentrate on describing sex acts... just the life.

Well, you could use it like:

"I felt a pressure in my bladder, so I went to the bathroom and took my pulsating spam-javelin out and started urinating..."

Or:

"Time for my daily shower! I spent extra time rinsing and latheing my pulsating spam-javelin."

Or:

"Darn kids making racket outside my house again! I went to the window, took my pulsating spam-javelin out and waved it a bit, shouting "Hoo-ha!" - that scared them right off!"

Or:

"My next-door neighbour's, lovely old Mrs. Streep's, kitten had climbed up a tree again and was mewing pathetically, so naturally I extended my pulsating spam-javelin to help Mr. Pawlo get down..."

Things like that! Aspects of daily life! Possibilities are endless!

	24-06-2003 23:53									#20
	Full PM-box? Change here!

I have no idea what a blog is. Someone care to enlighten me?

	24-06-2003 23:54									#21
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Stefu, I envy your writing skills

	24-06-2003 23:55									#22
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

blog = weblog

Basically an online journal of sorts.
Some blogs are essentially just links people post, though.

	24-06-2003 23:58									#23
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Yeah, I searched them... doesn't sound to exciting. Why would I want to read about the boring stuff other ppl do in their lifes? At least here I get to interact.

Stefu: ROTFLMAO, and getting weirf looks from my coworkers... Spam-javelin

	25-06-2003 00:00									#24
	Increase Your PM Length

Yes.. but Randy Berliner is an interesting character which people try to guess if it's real or not.. they try to search me on every possible porn engine and find my work, but still they're not sure.. oh yes.. Randy Berliner..

	25-06-2003 00:01									#25
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As for writting styles, I really like Hemingway-ish stuff. Follow the KISS policy and don't bore me with stupid details that has nothing to do with anything (like Melvile)... Unless, of course, Randy is obsessed with everything...

I'm already reading about someone's boring life, I don't need to hear them describe the boring sit-coms they are watching.

	25-06-2003 00:03									#26
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Yours will be different, I am sure... Just don't try and make it too unrealistic, or esle people will know... Anyway, let me know where your blog (what a stupid word) will be and I will read it.

	25-06-2003 00:05									#27
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It's not starting in ages though. I'm trying to make it good, so it will take lots of time. but I'll let people know when it's going live for sure.

	25-06-2003 00:22									#28
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quote: Originally posted by Pekka Ok.. I thought Dieter would be way more cooler, but it would indicate me being German too much. Then again that way I could get away with my bad grammar. So I figure the most important things are to have good stuff happening, but not make it too unbelievable. Then text must be fluent and good but still easy reading and flowing. This is where I have troubles. I'll master it! Oh, and do blogs usually have any pictures? Or is it forbidden.. because I'd like to post a picture every now and then (once in a month or so)? I have perfect equipment to make myself Randy Berliner!

does that equipment include a swedish penis enlarger

Jon Miller

	25-06-2003 00:23									#29
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Jon Miller, you are obviously uninformed how blessed I am....

	25-06-2003 01:00									#30
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You could set some groundwork, you know, DL a few porn clips by some less-well known actor (possibly you could rip some Finnish porn from your undoubtedly vast collection) and start spreading them on Kazaa or other P2P program with filenames and titles like "Randy Berliner - Hot College Nympho Butt Fun" or something...