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civman2000
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of the Martian Empire
Jun 2001
time: 23:29
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A man with scraggly hair and common clothing rushes towards the Ducal Castle of Vigo, clearly distressed. As he approaches a guard, he demands, "Is the Duke alive???"
"Of course he is," replies the guard.
"Thank God, oh thank God," says the man, kissing the guard's feet. "Wonderful! Wonderful news!" After a pause: "Please, I must see him!"
"He is meeting with the King and the Pope right now. If you want to schedule an appointment with him you will have to wait a few days."
"The King! The Pope! Both alive as well! O glorious day! But I must see him now, I am Roberto de la Civ, the missionary in the Eastlands, I have been kidnapped, enslaved, horrible, horrible things, I must meet with the Duke or the King or SOMEONE!" Another pause. "The King. King Justino, correct?"
"Of course. And the Pope, if you're wondering, is of course Aidun I. And I'll let the Duke know you need to see him now, but don't expect him to agree." The guard left.
A few minutes later, the guard returned and said, "This is your lucky day, it seems. The Duke will see you." The guard then led Roberto inside.
In a rather extravagant throne room sat the Duke de Nunez in the throne itself, while King Justino Togas and Pope Aidun I sat in more modest but clearly important chairs. Roberto immediately dropped to his knees and began mumbling about the greatness of the King and Church (and of course the Duke), and how he had feared the mob had gotten them.
"What mob?" inquired the King.
"The mob, the mob outside chanting 'Long live the Republic!' They will have your head when you leave if you are not careful!"
"Did you not hear of the Vigo Accord?? I informed Senor Nuclearis, and he should have told you. What happened??"
"Oh, far too much. Let me begin my tale, how long ago was it, it must have been at least two years ago, I cannot remember exactly. In a small town on the southern edge of North Estonia, I had gained quite a large number of converts. Then, one day, some Egyptians came. They said that they would take us to Carthage, or Legoland as they called it, and we could gain special positions and get a head start in setting up a settlement for the 'Voxodus.' The catch was that the first 3 months would be spent as indentured servants. Quite a few people of my town agreed to go, but I told all of the good Christians to stay, which was nearly 2/3rds of the town. Angrily, the Egyptians came to me and ordered me to go with them and take all of my followers with me, and they threatened to kill me if I refused. I had no choice but to accept. We got on several small galleys and set off eastward. When we finally arrived, it seemed that the Egyptians were honorable and would only have us work on their Carthaginian estates for 3 months. However, after the first month, some of us started to mysteriously disappear. I discovered that we were to be sold to Carthaginians as slaves. I did all I could to try to escape, but a week later, myself and two of my comrades were sold. Then I came into Carthage proper, and..." he trailed off.
"Then what?" asked the Duke.
"Oh, it was horrible! The legends of the Carthaginians, or Legos as is perhaps a more accurate term, are all true! They are not men, but evil machinations created by Satan in mockery of the great creation of God! Their bodies are so rectangular, discreet, artificial! Their heads are yellow and cylindrical, and they can be easily screwed off and replaced! Their facial features are black and two dimensional! Most of them don't have hair, but instead a large circle protruding from their scalp that cna be used to connect them, glue them, to many different things! Their feet are similar devices, and their legs have very limited motion. And their hands, oh their hands! They are simply two flat, wide, unmaneuverable fingers connected by a smooth curve. And there are so many more details, too many to recount them all. Their buildings are made out of bright-colored blocks that they also call Legos; they do not distinguish themselves from buildings other than to call themselves Legomen when a distinction is required for practical purposes! They do not have free will, but rather work like bees, and most likely receive their instructions directly from the Devil himself! And everything, absolutely everything, has holes and circles that allow them to be connected to anything else. Satan is creating an army of zombie slaves across the Western Sea; the evils that plague us here and in the other lands of the world are but decoys to keep our attention away from the horrible, evil, powerful Legos! Please, for the sake of God, goodness, the survival of God's most precious creations, we must stop them before it is too late!" Roberto burst into tears, triggered by recalling all of the details of his misery.
"So...how did you get back here?" asked the King, who seemed quite disturbed by the missionary's tale.
"Oh, yes, that," began Roberto, emerging from his lament. "One day, after what must have been over a year, my master Lego took me and my two friends he had bought with me to Jackson (OOC: I'm using a 510 map, it's the most recent one I can find with Legoland so the name may have changed by now). We heard that a large fishing expedition manned by Chinese was about to set out for Taiwan. By some incredible miracle, we were able to slip away for just long enough to sneak on one of the ships. For three days the three of us hid in the ships as stowaways, until some officers of the ship discovered my friends. They were able to escape again and return to me, but I had overheard them almost betraying me and telling the officers of my presence! I had no choice but to kill them to save my own skin: I attacked them with my fists and when they were unable to resist I threw them overboard. A week later, I safely snuclk off the boat as it arrived in Taiwan. Needing money and having few other skills, I joined the Chinese army as a reserve soldier and received a free ferry to Trafalgar as well as some training (I must tell you later of the "Chivalric" system they use!). Finally, after collecting enough money, I was able to buy passage on a commercial ship coming to my beloved Espana. When I arrived near Vigo, I walked into town, only to discover a horrible Republican mob! I ran here as fast as I could. And now I reach the present in my story."
Last edited by civman2000 on 08-07-2003 at 01:28
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08-07-2003 01:15
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