08-07-2003 22:10									#1
	Things I Have Learned About Texas. David ! Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

Armadillos sleep in the middle of the road with all four feet in the air.

There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 live in Texas.

There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 live in Texas, plus a few no one has ever seen before.

Raccoons will test your melon crop and let you know when they are ripe.

If it grows, it will stick you. If it crawls, it will bite you!

Nothing will kill a mesquite tree.

There are valid reasons some people put razor wire around their house.

A tractor is NOT an all terrain vehicle. They do get stuck.

The wind blows at 90 mph from Oct 2 till June 25, then it stops totally until October 2.

Onced and twiced are words.

Coldbeer is one word. (Da-vidddd )

People actually grow and eat okra.

Green grass DOES burn.

When you live in the country you don't have to buy a dog. City people drop them off at your front gate in the middle of the night.

The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.

When a buzzard sits on the fence and stares at you, it's time to see a doctor.

Fix-in-to is one word.

A TANK is a dirt hole that holds water for irrigation, watering the cows, or swimming.

There ain't no such thing as"lunch".
There is only dinner and then there's supper.
(We recently discussed this very issue here in the forum )

"Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two.

Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you.

"Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?"

You don't have to wear a watch because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see.

You Know you are from Texas if:
You measure distance in minutes.

You've ever had to switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.

Stores don't have bags, they have sacks.

You see a car with the engine running in the Wal-mart parking lot with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.

You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store. (note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word....)

All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit or a vegetable.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.

You carry jumper cables for your own car.

You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.

You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup,and Tabasco.

You think everyone from north of Dallas has an accent.

You think sexy underwear is a tee shirt and boxer shorts.

The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football.

You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

You find 100 degrees a "tad" warm

You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas.

You know whether another Texan is from East, West, North, or South Texas as soon as he opens his mouth.

Going to Wal-mart is a favorite past-time known as "goin Wal-Martin" "off to Wally-world".

You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand of flavor.

	08-07-2003 22:25									#2
	Increase Your PM Length

You can also use "fix" as a noun: Fried Steak and all the fixin's"

	08-07-2003 22:26									#3
	Put an end to popups!

How sad, I thought this was going to be a thread about your ultimate dissillusionment with Texas, and your firm decision to move North...

	08-07-2003 22:38									#4
	Support Apolyton

To quote 80's Valley Girls, monolith, "Gag me with a spoon!"

	08-07-2003 23:14									#5
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

Ha from Houston (hell whole of america) and most all of those are true from my experiences because i do get out to the country once in a while to go up to the ranch (no farms just ranches cause we grow cows not fruit) and i cant wait to go up northeast in two years

	08-07-2003 23:16									#6
	Support Apolyton, buy GURPS/ Alpha Centauri

this "dissillusionment " is that we all ride horses to school/work and wear cowboy hats all day and retire to our local saloons. This isnt true. what is true is that if you drive a car with a bumper sticker that says: "I'm
gay, I voted for Al Gore, and I'm here to confiscate your
guns" you will not make it down the street

	09-07-2003 19:25									#7
	Get a bigger avatar today!

DAVID! I said LOOK, damnit.

	09-07-2003 19:54									#8
	Re: Things I Have Learned About Texas. David ! Enter the AD-FREE zone

quote: Originally posted by SlowwHand The sound of coyotes howling at night only sounds good for the first few weeks.

Pesky varments, ain't they? I often get them howling outside my window at night & I live less than 10 miles north of downtown L.A.

quote: You Know you are from Texas if: You measure distance in minutes.

We do the same thing in L.A. --of course, excluding the time you're going to be stuck in traffic.

quote: You carry jumper cables for your own car.

Got 'em.

quote: You only have four spices in your kitchen: Salt, Pepper, Catsup,and Tabasco.

What do you use the salt, pepper and catsup for??

quote: You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

Anything which doesn't have three leaves right?

quote: You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good chili weather.

There's no "weather" for chili. It's good for breakfast all year round!

quote: A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand of flavor.

That's pronounced, "Diet Coke."

	09-07-2003 19:59									#9
	Inflate your Upload Space

quote: Coldbeer is one word. People actually grow and eat okra. "Sweetened ice tea" is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you are two. Backwards and forwards means I know everything about you. "Jeet?" is actually a phrase meaning, "did you eat?" (usually "Jeetyet"...) You use "fix" as a verb. Example: I am fixin' to go to the store. (note: in the portion above "fix-in-to" is one word....) You carry jumper cables for your own car. The local papers covers national and international news on one page but requires six pages to cover Friday night high school football. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer and Christmas. A carbonated soft drink isn't a soda, cola, or pop....It's a Coke regardless of brand of flavor.

all of these definitely apply to georgia/atlanta as well.

especially the coke thing:
"Hey, sugar, would you like a Coke?"
"Yes'm, I'd like a 7-Up."

	09-07-2003 20:08									#10
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

"There's no "weather" for chili. It's good for breakfast all year round! "

A man after my own heart. I had chili last night, again.

	09-07-2003 23:25									#12
	Got spare money?

Sheesh... you make Texas sound like the cradle of civilization compared to the place I live in.... I haven't seen another place where...

-you find dog excrements in your front yard while mowing the lawn even though there is a fence and a hedge
-you find horse excrements at the bus station on a dark Monday morning
-you find the same horse excrements at the bus station on the next dark Monday morning
-your whole street smells (and looks) like a dog's bowel, and neighbours complain when you take the trash can out too early.

I wanna get out of here.










Now.

	10-07-2003 00:43									#13
	Tired of ads?

Come on to Texas, Stefan.

"It's like a whole other country".

	10-07-2003 01:06									#14
	Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

mmmmuuusttt.... fight.... urges......

	10-07-2003 01:10									#15
	Suffering from ads?

Give in Sava.
Don't want your little pointed head to explode.

	10-07-2003 01:12									#16
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

in the grace of my divinity, I spare this thread from Sava sponsored Texas attacks... carry on!