18-07-2003 19:53									#1
	What's A Man To Do? Suffering from ads?

If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race...you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework...you're a pansy.

If you work too hard...there's never any time for her.

If you don't work enough...you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay...this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay.....you should get off
your lazy behind and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her.....that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you......it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks......it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet..........it's male indifference.

If you cry............you're a wimp.

If you don't....................you're an insensitive bastard.

If you make a decision without consulting her.........you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you......she's a liberated
woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy....... that's domination.

If SHE asks you.........it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear......you're a pervert.

If you don't..............you're gay.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape..............you're sexist.

If you don't.................you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape................you're vain.

If you don't................you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers.............you're after something.

If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements........you're full of yourself.

If you don't....................you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache............she's tired.

If you have a headache.............you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often.........you're oversexed.

If you don't................there must be someone else.


Men die first because they want to!!!

	18-07-2003 19:55									#2
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Yes but how is your prostate?

	18-07-2003 19:55									#3
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Anything going on we should know about, Tex?

	18-07-2003 19:57									#4
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It depends if you want to appeal to the hairy legged feminists or the beer swilling chauvanists.

	18-07-2003 20:01									#5
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Actually, this is from Boann.
Any guys out there, that want an honest woman, I have just the one for you.

	18-07-2003 20:07									#6
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Did ya buy her on eBay?

;D

	18-07-2003 20:12									#7
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quote: If you buy her flowers.............you're after something. If you don't....................you're not thoughtful.

So true... I get that about once every two-three months.

	18-07-2003 20:13									#8
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If you're that worried about being branded gay then you're not really that sure of your masculinity.

	18-07-2003 20:19									#9
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What's a man to do? Take full advantage of these:


If she sleeps around..............she's a slut

If he sleeps around................he's a stud

If she dresses up....................she's just going out

If he dresses up......................somebody died

If she gets way too drunk in public..........she's easy

If he gets way too drunk in public..............he's a partier

If she watches sports..............................she's a tom boy

If he watches sports................................he's straight

If she wears a lot of jewelry................she has sugar daddy

If he wears a lot of jewelry...................he's a sugar daddy

If she is a little cranky...........................it's around that time

If he is a little cranky............................the Bear's lost, again

If she gets strip-searched at the airport........it's embaressing

If he gets strip-searched at the airport........it's a moment of self discovery

If she is a boss.....................................she's bossy

If he is a boss.......................................everyone buys him mugs saying "Boss"

If she watches NASCAR........................she is a hillbilly

If he watches NASCAR..........................he is a redneck


It ain't about dying first, it's about getting their comfortably

	18-07-2003 20:38									#11
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quote: If she watches NASCAR........................she is a hillbilly If he watches NASCAR..........................he is a redneck

This is true though...

	18-07-2003 20:51									#12
	Full PM-box? Change here!

What's the deal about NASCAR? A preference for CART?

	18-07-2003 20:53									#13
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If you can't get it right..... you need more practise.

	18-07-2003 20:53									#14
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quote: Originally posted by SlowwHand What's the deal about NASCAR? A preference for CART?

Nah, I don't like racing that much. My stereotypes are based upon other people's stereotypes, and my own observations of crackers driving around with NASCAR stickers on their pickup trucks.

To be honest, I find auto-racing quite intriguing. I'm a fan of technology, cars, machines, etc... As for NASCAR, it's kind of lame because it's just one big circle. Maybe if they raced across country or something, I'd give a crap.

	18-07-2003 20:57									#15
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The road tracks are fun... Yet, I agree, I am not much into left-turn-contests, but the mechanics of it all is stunning

	18-07-2003 21:21									#16
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quote: but the mechanics of it all is stunning

I agree. I mean, come on, these guys can change 4 tires and pump a full tank of gas in less than 5 seconds! That's cool.

	18-07-2003 21:59									#17
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That is cool.
Dirt track is really great, especially if it's figure 8.

	19-07-2003 08:29									#18
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Times like this that I'm grateful I am gay . . . . .

	19-07-2003 08:44									#19
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this is a bunch of forwarded email, but nonetheless it's relatively funny.

	19-07-2003 08:51									#20
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Good post, cowboy.

	20-07-2003 16:58									#21
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SlowwHand: Hey, tex, ever tried just being y'all's self?

	20-07-2003 17:28									#22
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This is hilarious.

st swithin - they are being themselves

	20-07-2003 19:10									#23
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In that case, carry on - if you're the same way in RL as online, you don't need to read any more magazines.

	20-07-2003 20:59									#24
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Are you joking, st_swithin ? It's all I can do, to just be.

	21-07-2003 03:34									#25
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Nope, in fact I talk to you people here on Apolyton several orders of magnitude more often than I talk to people in RL or on the phone.

I believe, as my dad always did in life, that if you aren't going to be proud of the words that come out of your mouth, then write them down first and then edit.

My brain is single-threaded - I can't edit and think concurrently; therefore I tend to voice many opinions that should never have been given that much hot air in the first place.

Me? JOKING? Surely you jest. I thought you would have known me better by now. I'm ALWAYS serious!
;p

	21-07-2003 05:23									#26
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quote: What's the deal about NASCAR? A preference for CART?

Or, more likely, F1.

I'm not a big car racing nut, but I can handle watching a Formula One race... I can find some joy in it. The tracks are nicer, the drivers are more talented, and it's just a whole lot more interesting.

Plus, the drivers have entertaining names like Rubens Barrichello and Juan Pablo Montoya!