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Maniac
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Gent, Belgium
Jul 1999
time: 06:29
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Following the Hive example we present you an exclusive documentary: CyCon Government in times of SASS - How does it work?
Mani Alpha-3 is Second Function of the Cybernetic Consciousness. As the title of that function indicates, it is only of secondary importance. As evidence, see this extract of the preliminary Cybernetic Constitution:
quote:
The Second Function has the responsibility to:
- Poll for Social Engineering Changes
- Start Nominations and Elections: Nominations should be posted on the 20th of every month, and elections, where needed, on the 27th of every month, lasting for 3 days (for details see Article 10: Government Policy).
- Be the Turn Player when the Prime Function is unavailable, or designate a replacement.
- Be, or designate, a replacement for any elected official
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"All a Second Function has to do," so Mani Alpha-3 thought, "is organize a few Social Engineering polls in the next few decades, and post an election poll once in a while." A dream job! You have few responsibilities, but have a good salary and a fancy title you can brag about when you finally meet Claire Forlani. Sure, completely at the end of the list of responsibilities there is something mentioned about "replacing absent functions", but who thought this would ever be necessary? After all, besides Mani Alpha-3, the two biggest spammers contributors in the CyCon datalinks are Prime Function Drogue Beta-8 and Internal Affairs Function Corelli Omega-9. It was guaranteed: Second Function was gonna be a luxury life. That thought, dear readers, was the biggest mistake in Mani Alpha-3's cybernetic life!
For Mani Alpha-3 had not counted on such insidious viruses as the Severe Acute Sluggish Syndrome (SASS). In a matter of days both the Prime Function and the Internal Affairs Function had to report for maintenance, to delete the virus out of their systems. This left only Mani Alpha-3 at the helm of the Consciousness, well together with Function Delta "Who-Does-Not-Speak-English-Very-Well". He now had to take care of three of the four government functions. This gave some practical problems, so Mani Alpha-3 found out. For example, twenty years ago the architect of our Headquarters Apolyton Prime had the wonderful idea of organizing the base in a square "as that is so mathematically perfect". All the living quarters were in the center, and the four government buildings were in the very corners of that square base plan, to symbolize the government protecting the cyborg citizens against the dangers outside. That may be a nice symbol, but it isn't very promoting for state efficiency.
For example when a few days ago the Internal Affairs Function, currently Mani Alpha-3 in other words, wanted to organize a poll where to found a new base, the plans for that poll had to be created in the Internal Affairs building at Ygrec Corner. Then, according to the constitution, the poll plans have to be transferred to the Second Function department at Upsilon Corner to control if everything is done according to regulations. "Checks and balances. Very democratic!" it is called. Normally these plans are transmitted by the datalinks, but due to a network overload this was not possible. As a consequence thousands of research papers, geological reports of fitting base sites and organizational plans for the referendum had to be moved from Ygrek Corner to Upsilon Corner by truck, a drive of 12 kilometers. The length between the corners of the square could have been made shorter - after all only 20000 cyborgs lived in Poly Prime - but Poly Prime's architect decided to make the square sides 12 km "as that is such a mathematically perfect number: it can be divided by 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 and 12!  " But Mani Alpha-3 remained patient in the face of this chaos. He would let the bureaucrats move the paperwork to his office at Upsilon Corner. In the meanwhile he could rest a little... 
A few hours later though, the paperwork still hadn't arrived. When Mani Alpha-3 asked what was wrong, it appeared the truck driver had mistaken the street names and delivered the papers to Epsilon Corner instead of Upsilon Corner, because he was a little stressed. Can you believe it?  Stressed? He was being guided by adrenaline instead of reason! "Perhaps Unimatrix 001 wasn't such a good idea after all." Mani Alpha-3 pondered.  Anyway, after some more problems the papers arrived at Upsilon Corner and were checked for their legality. Finally the poll could be put online on the datalinks. There would be a lively debate between many politically interested cyborgs, and the results would be sent to the Prime Function department at Ypsilon Corner where the executive orders would be signed by... you guessed it... Mani Alpha-3.
That lively debate didn't happen though. After two days only two people had voted in the poll, one of which was Mani Alpha-3 himself.  Five more minutes later, every cyborg received the following telepathic message:
"Okay guys, from now on I'll decide everything on my own!!   "
THAT, my friends, is CyCon democracy at work. 
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:29
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*chuckle*
Kody
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:29
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Cheer!
You got a girlfriend that isn't apolyton!
Kody
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Kody
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If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:29
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Someone got confused in the hive a while back and called apolyton their girlfriend.
Kody
Last edited by Kody on 27-07-2003 at 05:28
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All times are GMT. The time now is 05:29.
Apolyton Time is 00:29. |
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26-07-2003 01:13
However he is very busy with official business (my new job) and official 'business' 
or is it too early?)
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