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Apolyton Civilization Forums : Powered by vBulletin version 2.0.3 Apolyton Civilization Forums > Miscellaneous > Archive > Off-Topic-Archive > Dead Islamic terrorists receive raisins and Juicyfruit, not virgins
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ixnay is offline ixnay
ACS Staff: 'RoN' Content Editor
I <3 etna, omg disgaea fag
Jan 1970
time: 22:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 13:24 Visit ixnay<br><img src=/forums/images/staff-icon.gif>'s homepage!
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Dead Islamic terrorists receive raisins and Juicyfruit, not virgins Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

http://www.msnbc.com/news/940974.asp?cp1=1

quote:
ARGUING THAT TODAY’S version of the Qur’an has been mistranscribed from the original text, scholar Christoph Luxenberg says that what are described as “houris” with “swelling breasts” refer to nothing more than “white raisins” and “juicy fruits.”


DRoseDARs is offline DRoseDARs

Prince
"My god, it's full of peas..."
Jul 2002
time: 21:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 13:31
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Ohhh boy...

Stefu is offline Stefu
Emperor
CLOWNS WIT DA DOWNS 4 LIFE YO!
Jan 1970
time: 07:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 14:24 Visit Stefu's homepage!
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Makes me think of them going into Paradise and Allah being there and offering them raisins and fruits and going "HA HA!"

Kropotkin is offline Kropotkin
Emperor
of Ålidhem
Mar 1999
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 14:39
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Got spare money?

On the other hand, that the text mentiones the shewing-gum brand "Juicy Fruit" is evidence that the book in fact is the words of Allah. Who else could have predicted the existance of "Juicy Fruit"!?!

Last edited by Kropotkin on 30-07-2003 at 16:27

Richelieu is offline Richelieu
Warlord
Gatineau
Dec 2001
time: 00:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 16:17
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Right now there's a bunch of pissed off terrorists in heaven plotting to highjack an angel...

Heresson is offline Heresson
King
of frogs
Jun 2000
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 16:51
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Old news

Kropotkin is offline Kropotkin
Emperor
of Ålidhem
Mar 1999
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 16:53
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For obvious reasons, anyone that takes anyting in a religious scripture literary is fouled,´but at least these ones get fruits and that's not that bad.

Heresson is offline Heresson
King
of frogs
Jun 2000
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 17:00
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Got spare money?

They are healthy.

Richelieu is offline Richelieu
Warlord
Gatineau
Dec 2001
time: 00:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 17:09
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But dead.

Skanky Burns is offline Skanky Burns
Deity
Skanky Bastard Quartermaster
Aug 2001
time: 14:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 17:37
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I hope they enjoy their fruity bits.

Kropotkin is offline Kropotkin
Emperor
of Ålidhem
Mar 1999
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 17:37
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Lose 30 kilos (of popups)

Yeah that's right, why shouldn't they get something unhealthy instead. It's not like it will kill them to get some fat.

Last edited by Kropotkin on 30-07-2003 at 17:50

Heresson is offline Heresson
King
of frogs
Jun 2000
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 17:47
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Well, assasines were supposed to make their followers believe they were temporarly in heaven by giving them hashish and women and all this stuff...

C0ckney is offline C0ckney
Prince
Big Up The Macedonian Massive
Apr 2000
time: 05:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 17:50
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yeah, they drugged them, they would wake up in a palace or garden, surrounded by beautiful women and food and stuff (they thought they were in heaven), they were told that they just had to do one thing and they could spend all eternity there.

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
King

Donate to the Red Cross

Sep 2002
time: 23:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 18:59
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Imran Siddiqui is offline Imran Siddiqui

Deity
The Potterverse
Jan 1970
time: 00:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 19:06
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Yes, this is old news, and true. After all 'white raisins' are a sign of heaven and are referenced in Judaic texts talking about heaven as well.

Whaleboy is offline Whaleboy
Prince
Please make all cheques payable to Whaleboy
Jan 2003
time: 05:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 19:07 Visit Whaleboy's homepage!
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YAY!! Lets all associate Islam with terrorism!

Fruit is good for you

Q Cubed is offline Q Cubed
Prince
t3h y3ll0w p3ril
Apr 1999
time: 23:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 19:34 Visit Q Cubed's homepage!
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actually, my first thought was that heaven for these guys, rather than being a upscale and nice "tearoom", was actually more like a kindergarten instead.

nila cookies and juice boxes, anyone?

Kropotkin is offline Kropotkin
Emperor
of Ålidhem
Mar 1999
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 19:47
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Fruit is sure better than virigins. 'Virgins' have a tendency to give you STD:s.

Heresson is offline Heresson
King
of frogs
Jun 2000
time: 06:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 19:54
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What?

mrmitchell is offline mrmitchell
King

Donate to the Red Cross

Sep 2002
time: 23:29
  Old Post 30-07-2003 20:07
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The whole thing about virgins existing in Heaven is that they're in Heaven so they can't lie. (Or they can't transmit, at the least.)

If virgins in Heaven give STDs, life has lost its purpose.

Lonestar is offline Lonestar
Prince
AECCP Dark Lord of the Sith
Aug 2000
time: 00:29
  Old Post 01-08-2003 04:32 Visit Lonestar's homepage!
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quote:
Originally posted by Kropotkin
Fruit is sure better than virigins. 'Virgins' have a tendency to give you STD:s.


Speaking from personal experience?

Anun Ik Oba is offline Anun Ik Oba
Emperor
Grace of God
Sep 1999
time: 00:29
  Old Post 01-08-2003 10:19
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There's no sex in heaven. What would you do with a virgin?

Dis is offline Dis
Emperor
Las Vegas, Nevada
Feb 2000
time: 21:29
  Old Post 01-08-2003 11:40 Visit Dis's homepage!
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virgins give poor head. there I said it. It needed to be said.

st_swithin is offline st_swithin
CTP1/2 GODDESS
10069
Nov 2002
time: 05:29
  Old Post 01-08-2003 12:17
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Sounds like he11 to me - an impotent dude, surrounded by 72 nubile virgins, and no Viagra.

Sorry, Heff - hate to break it to ya, but you're stuck here now!

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