01-08-2003 11:37									#1
	The barbeque (joke) Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

When a man volunteers to do the 'BBQ' the following chain of events
are put into motion:
>>1) The woman goes to the store.
>>2) The woman fixes the salad, vegetables, and dessert.
>>3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along
with
the necessary cooking utensils, and takes it to the man, who is
Lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.
>>4) The man places the meat on the grill.
>>5) The woman goes inside to set the table and check the vegetables.
>>6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning.
>>7) The man takes the meat off the grill and hands it to the woman.
>>8) The woman prepares the plates and brings them to the table.
>>9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
>>10) Everyone praises man and thanks him for his cooking efforts.
>>11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon
>>seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some
women.

	01-08-2003 11:43									#2
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So true.

	01-08-2003 11:52									#3
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women are not qualified to handle meat over an open flame

	01-08-2003 12:12									#4
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That's why we like to throw the men onto the fire after they burn the filet mignon - more meat for us meat eaters!!

And it's environmentally-friendly too.

Vitameatavegimen!

	01-08-2003 13:42									#5
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This reminds me of Donatella Versace's summer cook out. She's completely wasted and accidently leans against the grill, impervious to the fact that her skin is burning. The smoke wafts up toward her face and for a second her face lights up.

"Sumtheeng smell deleesheeus! Aaaagh, it's meee!"

	01-08-2003 17:23									#6
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actually, when we barbecue, the guys do all the buying, preparing, and cooking.

we use plastic plates and cups.

and we don't need no stinkin' vegetables (although we sometimes do grill some corn on the cob).

meat, hot off the grill... no forks, no utensils, just meat. that's how it's supposed to be done.

	01-08-2003 18:49									#7
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I can barbeque goooooooooooooooooooood.

well hambrugers anyway

	01-08-2003 18:51									#8
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...if you BBQ only sauces and MEAT are allowed

	01-08-2003 18:51									#9
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the best hamburgers are the ones where you make the patties yourself.

	01-08-2003 18:54									#10
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quote: ...if you BBQ only sauces and MEAT are allowed

melting cheese on meat is allowed, because melting cheese becomes a sauce.

bread is tolerable, but only if it's going to be used with meat: buns, for instance.

"vegetarian" entrees, like boca burgers, soy burgers, or any of that crap is NOT ALLOWED and EXPRESSLY FORBIDDEN. if they go on the grill, you no longer have a barbecue, you have an "cookoff".

	01-08-2003 18:59									#11
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Don't you also need little american flags?

	01-08-2003 19:02									#12
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Q Cuberd your right!

	01-08-2003 19:07									#13
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quote: Don't you also need little american flags?

they don't taste so good, and they're neither meat nor sauce.

	01-08-2003 19:09									#14
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if you mean those paper flag thingies....i always use them to get the fire going

	01-08-2003 19:16									#15
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as for women not capable of handling meat over an open flame: not quite true. all women can be grillers just like men...

that is, if they're not into that "vegetarian" junk. meat-eaters are the only ones who know how to properly use a grill.

remember folks, the grill is not just something to cook with. it's a calling.

	01-08-2003 19:38									#16
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I don't even bother with the meat, it's all about making a wood-burning fire. The meat's just an excuse.

	01-08-2003 20:19									#17
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Your talking about Grilling... B-B-Q is a time honored tradition that takes time, skill, and constant, allbeit drunken, attention...

My wife doesn't cook. I cook everything. When I Bbq it is MY night off, as I get to through some things on, wait an hour, fix it, through some more stuff on, wait another hour, and then eat some of the best grub you will ever had...

	01-08-2003 21:20									#18
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quote: the best hamburgers are the ones where you make the patties yourself

thats the only way I make em... everyone always RAVES about them. Im big on seasoning stuff just right.

and I do grill veggies..only when I make fajitas though. I cut up bell pepper, onion and sometimes mushroom. put it on some foil (to make a pouch)...season it with salt, pepper and other stuff (its a secret), melt some butter, pour it over the veggies, wrap up the aluminum foil making a pouch. stick it on the grill next to the meat. when the meats done, I opull the veggis off. they're all nice and tender and flavorful. grab a tortilla. throw some fajita on it..then the veggies...absolute HEAVEN. mmm

I think imma bbq this weekend lol

	01-08-2003 21:31									#19
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"I cut up bell pepper, onion and sometimes mushroom. put it on some foil (to make a pouch)..."

I do that with the onions and mushrooms: add butter (no need to melt it), worchtershire sauce, and fajita seasonings....

Yet, for the peppers; cut in half and take out the pith (if that's what it's called), drizzle with olive oil, sprinkle with salt... Roast with open side down until edges seer, then flip, and grill 'till soft and skin is blistering and blackened. Remove from grill and immediatly place in tuperware or covered bowl. Let stand for fifteen minutes. Peel off skin (putting them in the bowl and covering them will steam them allowing the skin to come off real easy), chop and serve. Ummm, roasted peppers.

I also will grill corn a lot, too... I peel back the outer husks, remove the whiter, thinner, inner husks, wash, return outer husk to normal position and soak in luke warm salted water for about 15-20 minutes. Remove from water shake excess water off and through on the grill. Takes about 5 minutes per side (asuming the corn has 4 sides) or until husk is nicely burned and corn is squirting like a brat...

Can also grill Eggplant, Portobellos, Garlic Bread, beans, garlic (wrap this in tin foil and throw right in the embers), and potatos.

I bbq every weekend... Last week was Tri-Tip (my specialty), but I made a zuccinni caserole for the side... This week, I'm thinking ribs or T-bones... Man, I'm hungry

	01-08-2003 21:35									#20
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mmm..roasted corn..I do that too.

except I leave it alone in the husk..dont open it or anything..just toss it on the gril...or even ina 350 degree oven..let cook for like 20 minutes...

remove from heat..let sit...peel back husks..pull of that silk stuff...(the hairs)..leave the husk on so I can use it as a sort of handle..put butter and then lemon pepper on it...yummmm

	02-08-2003 02:52									#21
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I want to go to a restaurant where they bring you a live cow over to your table and you carve off what you want and ride the rest home! Dum-da-da-dum...

Anybody know a place like that?