08-08-2003 21:04									#1
	Movie Reviews from 2020 Support Apolyton

Let's face it guys...downloading is gonna kill off the MPAA once everyone gets broadband. But movies, even the big budget kind, will be hear to stay. Here's a Movie Review page from 2020.

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Welcome to Mingapulco Theaters

Tickets: Free
Jumbo Soda: $5
Huge Soda: $6
Extra Huge Soda: $7
Gallon o' Soda: $8
Popcorn: $6
Coffee: $8
Beer: $8
Marijuana Brownies: $12

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NOW SHOWING
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AGENT GUPTA
(New Delhi Motion Picture Company, Action)
Featuring the biggest stars in India, this action packed thriller follows India's top secret agent and his mission to stop terrorists set on bombing Mumbai.

ARABIAN SUNRISE
(United States Department of State, Documentary)
This epic 3 hour film follows an Iraqi family through the trials and turmoils under the Hussein regime before the liberation of Iraq.

CALIFORNIA
(Los Angeles Chamber of Commerce, Romance)
An unemployed sound technician finds love with a migrant worker under the warm Southern California sun.

TOTAL COMBAT: THE MOVIE
(Total Combat Games Inc, War)
Released simultaneously with the Total Combat 8 Online, this movie, shot entirely in first-person perspective, follows a super-soldier mercenary through an entire war.

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF MR. JOHN SMITH
(John Smith, Comedy)
John Smith of San Diego, California strapped a camera to the top of his head and proceeded to do incredibly stupid things in public. Extremely funny, even more so when you realize there are people like this walking around on the street in your neighborhood.

THE GREAT SUSAN M. QUIGLEY
(Democratic Party, Drama)
Dramatization of this year's Presidential Candidate Susan Quigley's transformation of the state of Texas from chaos to the best educated state in the nation during her terms first as a state legislator and later as Governor.

NEW TESTAMENT
(Christian Coalition, Animated)
The sequel to last year's hit children's movie Old Testament, this animated film continues the rest of the story. Features over 12 singalong hymns.

NOAH'S ARK
(Citizens Concerned About Global Warming, Science Fiction)
Rising sea levels threaten a low-lying nation with total submersion. Residents try to fight both the polluters responsible and the rising ocean to defend their homeland.

PARTY ANIMALS: THE MOVIE
(International Broadcasting Corporation, Comedy)
The pilot episode of the Party Animals television series.

THE ROAD RACER
(Hyundai Motor Company, Action)
A boy's only chance out of his dull small-town life is to soup up his Hyundai and enter the motor racing circuit.

SENSELESS VIOLENCE 2: MORE SENSELESS VIOLENCE
(Anonymous, Action)
Montage of violent scenes pieced together from newsreels, police footage, surveilance cameras around the world.

SOMETOWN
(National Arts Foundation, Drama)
Winner of numerous student film awards, this independent movie chronicles life and changes in a rural American town.

SPACE WARS XVI: WAR ON PLANET X
(Space Wars CGI Alliance, Science Fiction)
The latest computer-generated flick from the self-proclaimed gang of geeks has yet another epic starship battle with more lasers and explosions than the Pentagon.

SPACE WARS XVI: QUEST TO GALAXY 16
(Space Wars Render Team, Science Fiction)
Internal disputes caused this group of Space Wars geeks to split from the main group. They have now produced this rival movie, which they claim is the real Space Wars story.

UNCENSORED
(Brothel Industry Association of America, Adult)
Plot? Nah. Dialogue? Nah. Sex? Lots of it.
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Enjoy the show! Please be sure to turn off all personal communications devices.

	08-08-2003 21:50									#2
	Support Apolyton

Hell, I was thinking that you were giving reviews to the "old" movies of 2003 and before:

quote: Gligli: Erroneously tagged as "one of the worst films in history" when it was originally released back in 2003, later, more astute audiences have been wowed by a beautifully crafted, witty, and soul searching exploration of the nature of love and sex...

You know, stuff like that.

	08-08-2003 22:09									#3
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

quote: The Matrix This rumored film was supposedly released in three parts after the turn of the millennium. Mysteriously, all copies supposedly vanished in June, 2011 meaning that our memories of this film is just that - memories. Some of the more conspiracy minded among us note that the disappearance of the prints coincided almost perfectly with the activation of GlobalNet, which replaced the earlier "Internet." Interestingly enough, nobody maintains that theory for long...

	08-08-2003 22:45									#4
	Help yourself to an AD-FREE life

WATER OF LIFE:
(Pepcola Corp) (Thriller)
Small town sheriff follows the case of a young girl's death after drinking tainted Cola [from one of Pepcola's competitors] and discovers a den of corruption and murder.

DRAGON BROTHERS:
(Central Party Committee on Film, Beijing China) (hisorical action)
Set in 1930's Shanghai, two brotehrs use martial arts to rescue a girl and her family about to be brutally killed by rampaging Japanese soldiers.


JOHNNY APPLELOINS:
(Pixar animation)(adult)
Brilllinat depiction of adult sensuality as a pioneer goes out west to sow the land with his seed.

	08-08-2003 23:25									#5
	Re: Movie Reviews from 2020 Browse Apolyton AD-FREE

quote: Originally posted by Smiley Jumbo Soda: $5 Huge Soda: $6 Extra Huge Soda: $7 Gallon o' Soda: $8 Popcorn: $6 Coffee: $8

You'd think there would be some inflation between now and then in movie concession prices.

	08-08-2003 23:28									#6
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

quote: JOHNNY APPLELOINS: (Pixar animation)(adult) Brilllinat depiction of adult sensuality as a pioneer goes out west to sow the land with his seed.

Best one yet.

	08-08-2003 23:49									#7
	Support Apolyton

THE MATRIX REGURGITATED

Yet more of The Matrix, only this time budget constraints have forced the removal of any special effect that can't be produced using a digital camcorder and a fishing rod, thereby rendering the film completely redundant.

	09-08-2003 00:15									#8
	Get a bigger avatar today!

POLICE ACADEMY 12

Zany antics ensue as a new bunch of recruits begin training at the academy. Starring Steve Guttenberg as Commandant Mahoney and Michael Winslow as The Mayor.

	09-08-2003 00:32									#9
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

007: Never to Late to Die

Haley Joel Osment is the new James Bond. In this adventure, Arab, North Korean, and Cuban agents work to try to rebuild the Axis of Evil. It's up to Bond to stop them! In this latest flick 007 is in double trouble as he comes face to face former Playboy playmates Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen. The results are sexy!

	09-08-2003 00:54									#10
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization 2

Batman versus the Penguin

The second in a series of new batman films, in the style of the original series, complete with cartoon 'POW!' effects. Batman and Robin must stop the Penguin from altering Gotham's weather system, in order to vastly increase the need for umbrellas, from the Penguin's front company. The main difference is that Batman and Robin are now openly gay.

	09-08-2003 01:01									#11
	Increase the size of your Attachments

SEX AND THE CITY: THE MOVIE

A movie adaptation of the classic TV series, only this time with attractive actresses playing the lead parts.

	09-08-2003 01:17									#12
	Support Apolyton, buy Civilization: The Boardgame

King of the Hill 2
(Omni-mega- Newscorp inc. Ag)(Live action Comedy)

In the sequel to the hugely successful movie based on the classic '90's animated series, Colin Ferell revises his role as Hank Hill and Britney Spears as Peggy. NOt half as good as the original.

Star Trek XII:
(Paramount-Universal)(Sci Fi)
The first movie with the cast of Enterprise. Captain Archer is captured by Klingons after beign set up by the Romulans. With Jim Carrey as the Klingon captain.

	09-08-2003 02:10									#13
	Suffering from ads?

Backlash III
(Coke-Kline Pictures) (Space-Action-Commercial)

Alien bandits cross the galaxy to find the secret ingredient in Coca-Cola. An elite group of soldiers is called back from retirement to protect mans greatest creation.

	09-08-2003 02:17									#14
	Avatar Enlargement: We've got the solution

Breakin' 3: Schizo Hibidee
(Nike) (Modern street dance epic - drama)

Cristopher Nolan takes up the Breakin' banner in this, his largest project to date. Two opposing dancing gangs, one rich, the other poor, take their anger to the streets in a battle of legs, beats, and moves. Lindsay Lohan stars as the put-upon poor-gang leader, with Hillary Duff as her tender, hard edged lover.

	09-08-2003 02:30									#15
	Support Apolyton, buy Galactic Civilizations

shamelessly stolen from strongbad emails: Dangeresque II: This Time It's Not Dangeresque I

related link: http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail80.html

	09-08-2003 06:41									#16
	Re: Movie Reviews from 2020 Suffering from ads?

quote: Originally posted by Smiley ... Jumbo Soda: $5 Huge Soda: $6 Extra Huge Soda: $7 Gallon o' Soda: $8 Popcorn: $6

Those prices in 2020? They're that expensive NOW!

	09-08-2003 20:50									#17
	Support Apolyton, buy Alpha Centauri

The way the economy's looking now and the way it's gonna be after a couple more years of BUllSH!t suggests that inflation ain't going anywhere.

	09-08-2003 23:05									#18
	Support Apolyton, pre-order Civilization IV

I just want more money.