 |
| |
|
|
Corellion
|
 |
Kingston, Canada
Sep 2002
time: 00:30
|
|
We present to you Issue 4 of the Digital Data Download. It's a bit shorter than usual, but it's the quality that counts! 
In this Issue:
- From the Offices of the Internal and External Affairs Functions
- A Cybernetic society at work : Education
- Where in the World is Colonel Santiago?
- The Caption Competition
- Faits divers
From the Offices of the Internal and External Affairs Functions - by Corelli Omega-9
Greetings once again fellow CyConians. Today, the Office of the Internal Affairs Function, along with the Office of the External Affairs Function, have a ground-breaking announcement to make. Over the years, our faction has been protected from hostile forces by the most powerful weapon at our disposal… the tactical gorilla. For almost 34.97 years, the gorilla has served as our first-line defense against mindworms, spore launchers, and even the occasional Isle of the Deep attack. In all cases, the gorillas exhibited exemplary performance, and kept our populace safe and productive, helping to keep our efficiency at the incredible levels we find it today.
Archives: A Tactical Gorilla
However, in recent years, certain aspects of the tactical gorilla have proven insufficient for new tasks that have been expected of it. Due to the nature of the tactical gorilla’s movement, its effectiveness in offensive assaults is much lower than it should be. The size of the gorillas, accompanied by their relatively slow speeds, while making them superb for defense, proved liabilities when they attacked. In response, in 2132.8792, CyCon researchers set about the task of creating a new weapon, one more suited to offence and to the difficult terrain of Chiron. We would like to announce that this feat has finally been accomplished. We present…
The Combat Parrot
Utilising the latest technological advances, the combat parrots have the ability to perform bombing runs at a range of up to two thousand kilometres, more than 100 times the range of natural parrots. Their cybernetically-enhanced bodies, in addition to increasing their intelligence past that of most full-humans, greatly enhance strength and endurance, allowing them to withstand the shot from a particle-impactor. They can carry an ordinance of up to one tonne, and can be outfitted with many modules to enhance performance in specific fields. So far, combat parrots have begun patrolling our territory, executing search-and-destroy missions against mindworms. The uses of the combat parrot are not entirely military, however, and they can be used for a variety of purposes. Three combat parrots of the highest quality have been sent to CyCon DOSC to help search for dangerous offenders.
The parrots have also been equipped with special software to allow them to interlink at any time with the entire network of tactical gorillas. The result is that precision attacks, involving co-ordination between the aerial and ground forces, are now even easier to plan and execute.
With this new weapon under our control, our faction is now safer than ever.
11110100010101010001101111001000000110000101101100
01101100001000000010000110111100101000011011011110
11011100010000001000110011101010110111001100011011
10100011010010110111101101110011100110010111000100
00000100000010101000110100001100101001000000110011
00110111101101100011011000110111101110111011010010
11011100110011100100000011011010110010101110011011
10011011000010110011101100101001000000110100001100
00101110011001000000110001001100101011001010110111
00010000001110010011001010110001101100101011010010
11101100110010101100100001000000110011001110010011
01111011011010010000001110100011010000110010100100
00001100010011000010111010001100011011010000010000
00110111101100110001000000100001101101111011011010
11000100110000101110100001000000101000001100001011
10010011100100110111101110100011100110010000001110
01001100101011011000110010101100001011100110110010
10110010000100000001100100010000001101101011011110
11011100111010001101000011100110010000001100001011
00111011011110010111000100000001000000010001001011
01101000010011001010110011101101001011011100101110
10010000001001001011011100110011001101001011011000
11101000111001001100001011101000110100101101111011
01110001000000110001101101111011011010111000001101
10001100101011101000110010100101110001000000010000
00101000001000101010000010100001101000101001000000
10100000110000101110010011100100110111101110100011
10011001000000110011001101111011100100010000001101
00001101001011001110110100000101101011100100110000
10110111001101011011010010110111001100111001000000
11011110110011001100110011010010110001101100101011
10010011100110010000001110010011001010111000001101
10001100001011000110110010101100100001011100010000
00010000001000010011001010110011101101001011011100
01000000110111101100010011100110110010101110010011
10110011000010111010001101001011011110110111000100
00001101101011011110110010001100101001011100010000
0010110110100010101101110011001000101110100100010
Corelli Omega-9, Mani Alpha-3
Internal Affairs Function, External Affairs Function
A Cybernetic society at work : Education - by Mani Alpha-3
In this new series of articles, 3D hopes to shed light upon a different aspect of Cybernetic society in each 3D issue. Today's issue: "Education in CyCon society: How does it work?"
For children younger than twelve Terran years, education almost entirely consists of didactic laser memory imprints. This procedure comprises bringing the child into a state of hypnosis, and then rapidly flashing whole waves of directed holograms into the eyes of the child. In the hypnotic state the child is highly susceptible for new information. All in all the procedure takes one hour, a period of which the child has no conscious memory due to the hypnosis. Thus one could say the subject matter is loaded directly into the brain, the rate being varied according to an individual's ability to absorb it.
School for cyborg children consists of a weekly visit to the network node for a didactic memory-absorption assessment, and then the imprint of a new memory package. This leaves children with considerable time on their hands, creating a large industry of children's creches to keep them occupied through organized games and events, and helping to develop their social skills. Efficiency and didactic value is of course a prime concern for the creche leaders when choosing what games to play.
When they have reached the age of twelve, and the brains and personality have almost fully developed, the children receive their first cybernetic implant. This happens during the annual Implant Ceremony, a day which children and their proud parents look forward to with great expectations. After that, besides the usual imprint sessions, the children have to grow familiar with the many possibilities of their implant, and the new experience of contributing to the Collective Mind. Fortunately Athena is ever present to assist and guide them in their curious explorations.
Basic education is completed at around age sixteen, after which the majority of children, to be more precise 88%, have the opportunity to go on to universities, which employ a combination of didactic imprint and traditional tutorial sessions or research projects aimed at developing students' intellects and analytical abilities. Based on the subject they choose, they receive a second set of implants which specialize for a certain profession. A few years later when the students graduate, each cyborg gets his or her official designation, again based on the discipline they are graduating on. A few examples of such designations are "Beta-8 : Economics", "Alpha-3 : Political Sciences" and "Delta-1 : Military Strategies".
For the remainder there are job-related specialization imprint courses, where appropriate, e.g. maintenance and machine operation, which the average citizen will continue to take throughout their working life.
Pirate washed ashore - by Metho Delta-5
Early this morning, at approximately 05.00 Cybernetic Standard Time, routine scout patrols plucked a strange, confused man from the treacherous waters off the coast of Pi Square, a base in the northwest corner of Cybernetic territory. Authorities were startled to discover that this man bore no cybernetic implants, and thus was not a member of our faction. His confusion seemed perhaps to stem from his obvious intoxication from alcohol, which he appeared to have consumed in abundance.
Identification tags the man was found to be carrying distinguished him as Ivan the Fearsome, of the PMS vessel Montezuma's Revenge of Tripoli, later spotted by Cybernetic Ocean Patrols some two kilometers off the Cybernetic coast. As for Ivan himself, a decision has not yet been made as of a course of action. "Put him in the back of the paddy-wagon!" one patrolman suggested. "Shave his belly with a rusty razor!" another shouted. A consensus has still not been reached as of yet, simply because nobody knows what to do with a drunken sailor, ear-lie in the morning.
A special message from the Prime Fu External Affairs Office - by Mani Alpha-3
OBVIOUSLY THE CONSCIOUSNESS HAS NOT YET MET THE PIRATES. ANYONE WHO CLAIMS OTHERWISE IS CLEARLY DELUSIONAL AND WILL BE ARRESTED. END TRANSMISSION.
Where in the World is Colonel Santiago? - by Corelli Omega-9
Why hadn't you thought of it sooner? All the signs were there, right under your nose! And yet it took you so long to see through the clues. The machete, the trees, the river boat, the limited provisions... it all makes sense.
You've thought this over several times during your trip to the Monsoon Jungle, where you determined that Colonel Santiago must be. You would have continued turning it over in your mind further, had the oversight of the operation not taken up so much of your time. You now busy yourself co-ordinating search teams and investigating all possible evidence of Colonel Santiago found. So far, nothing of any relevance has been found beyond that all-important clue you located during the first month of the search. A note from Santiago herself, smudged and discarded in the jungle.
quote:
It is altogether fitting [illegible] space [illegible] is in many ways a [illegible] rugged terrain [illegible] enemy strongholds [illegible] Planet is ours for the taking! |
She's planning something, but what? And is there any significance to the hundreds of drained laser rifles you've found scattered around? And more importantly, where do you go next?
Special thanks to HongHu for solving the riddles and identifying the Monsoon Jungle as Colonel Santiago's hiding place.
The Caption Competition - by Mani Alpha-3
Because there were so many excellent suggestions last time, I held a poll in the Collective to decide the winner. I expected the votes to be divided between many captions, but soon a clear majority became apparent for only one suggestion. Therefore, with right and reason I can announce that the winner is...
"Scared, you should be. Result of night of excessive drinking, this is."
-- Octavian X
For this issue, we invite you to search for funny captions about our new combat parrot picture. Please post the captions in this thread. 
Faits divers - by Mani Alpha-3
- After first switching production from the Human Genome Project to the Weather Paradigm and Virtual World, our secret project production now seems to have stopped for no reason. The affair is still under investigation...
- Corelli Omega-9 and Chaunk Omicron-7 voluntarily imprisoned to prove they are vital functions as well.
- UFO still flying over CyCon territory. Attempts to shoot it down with a Unity mining laser unsuccessful.
- Civil war almost erupts over the question: "How many threads should be topped?"
- After TassieGod first revealed his existence, there were some cyborgs claiming that GooglieGod was the only true deity and that worshipping TassieGod was idolry. To solve this practical problem, TassieGod fortunately released TWODEITIES.EXE, a revolutionary new program that will allow all CyCons to worship two gods.
Last edited by Corellion on 15-09-2003 at 18:14
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Kody
|
|
If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:30
|
|
"These new 100kg parrots are perfect gifts for pirates that need posture correction."
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Kody
|
|
If life's standing still and your soul's confused
Jun 2003
time: 14:30
|
|
Only because the Hive decided my abilities were better put to advancing the Hive's interests in game.
|
|
| |
|
|
|
Hercules
|
 |
in Tir Na Og
Sep 2002
time: 05:30
|
|
Jtisiyoda: Is that a cow or a horse, So now we have a cow/horse and a Mongoose in the Drones. Maybe a Croc.
Last edited by Hercules on 16-09-2003 at 05:13
|
|
| |
All times are GMT. The time now is 05:30.
Apolyton Time is 00:30. |
top of page
|
| archivepost |
|
Forum Rules:
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
|
HTML code is ON
vB code is ON
Smilies are ON
[IMG] code is ON
|
|
|
|
|
|
15-09-2003 03:19
I think I prefer Hong Eat-3. 
Glad to see things ticking over without me 
|