16-09-2003 00:03									#1
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My cousing is getting married this weekend to a girl from Japan. I know absolutely nothing about Japanese culture that I didn't learn from stereotypes and anime. I really would like to make her feel welcome to our family; does anyone have any suggestions that will keep me from making a total *** out of myself?

	16-09-2003 00:19									#2
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Post this on a Japanese forum.

	16-09-2003 00:24									#3
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Dont alter you behavior to suit the supposed diffrence of that girl. It always sucks if you are in some foreign country and as soon the locals find out where you are from, they try to be nice and caring about your culture, instead of behaving ****ing normal

	16-09-2003 00:27									#4
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That would be a great idea! One thought, though... I don't speak Japanese! Since this is Off-Topic, and we have Japanese nationals that participate on this forum, I figured this was as good a place as any to ask.

	16-09-2003 00:29									#5
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Give her a scale model of the Enola Gay.

	16-09-2003 00:33									#6
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quote: Give her a scale model of the Enola Gay.

I figured I'd just keep calling her Korean then ask her to lay some rail tracks...

I guess I just don't want to be a freak. She's painfully shy and already nervous.

	16-09-2003 00:34									#7
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If she bows to you don't try and look down her shirt.

by the way my name is not a racial slur + a pronoun... I always think of it as Jaffer, but anyway, don't introduce her to me JAP her.

	16-09-2003 00:51									#8
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quote: She's painfully shy and already nervous.

So she fits the stereotype!

I would also suggest that you just behave as you would to somebody in the States. Dumb questions and everything. Apparently, she is already sufficiently comfortable with the way your cuz acts. And if she isn't comfortable with you, then at least your cuz will be able to tell her that this is the way you normally treat people.

	16-09-2003 00:56									#9
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True enough.

	16-09-2003 00:59									#10
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Besides, if you act all nice-nice, but it comes across weird, then you have to act weird whenever you see her. Major downer.

	16-09-2003 01:06									#11
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Don't blow your nose in public; remove your shoes when entering a house (facing inwards I think, maybe sideways to be safe), and put on toilet shoes to go to the toilet if they've provided; don't stick your chopsticks vertically into your rice; never complement any rice apart from Japanese rice; eat everything they give you, whether it's wriggling or not; be prepared to go out drinking 'til 3am every night.

	16-09-2003 01:10									#12
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quote: be prepared to go out drinking 'til 3am every night

Ah! Finally something I can identify with! Unfortunately, Sakato is a teetotaler and very anti-alcohol.

	16-09-2003 01:30									#13
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quote: Originally posted by DanielXY Dont alter you behavior to suit the supposed diffrence of that girl. It always sucks if you are in some foreign country and as soon the locals find out where you are from, they try to be nice and caring about your culture, instead of behaving ****ing normal

I HATE when people do that. Just act normal, with a little patience mixed in.

	16-09-2003 01:33									#14
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What is it with asians and alcohol.

My wife is totally anti-alcohol too. Not because of conviction but because she just doesn't like the stuff.

I really wouldn't care about this, except for the fact that I like red-wine so much.

Asmodean

	16-09-2003 01:38									#15
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Give a small gift (a big gift is embarassing).
Be polite and not too loud.
Learn some basic Japanese...I'll do some phonetic for you:
ha jee may mah-shtay, do zo your oh shee coo

Is basically the equivalent of "very nice to meet you" in a formal way.

Do mo arigato go zay mas ta is formal thank you.

Etc....good luck...she's just a regular gal, I'm sure.

	16-09-2003 01:40									#16
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I was actually the only representative from our family that made it over to my brother's wedding in Munich to his German fiance. Besides my brother, I was the only American out of ~ 200 guests.

I have to admit that it was a little intimidating. First and only time I have danced the waltz. Can't speak a word of German.

Where is this wedding being held? State-side or in Japan?

Last edited by DanS on 16-09-2003 at 01:46

	16-09-2003 01:41									#17
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quote: Originally posted by Immortal Wombat ...never complement any rice apart from Japanese rice

"Man, this Uncle Bens is the ****! It especially goes good with Kikomans soy sauce!"

	16-09-2003 01:47									#18
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The wedding's in Arkansas. She won't have any family here. As a family, we tend to be over enthusiastic when greeting new members of the clan.

quote: "Man, this Uncle Bens is the ****! It especially goes good with Kikomans soy sauce!"

You're gonna end up getting shot, roundeye.

	16-09-2003 02:03									#19
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Overenthusiastic? Could you tell a story or two so that we can get the whole picture?

	16-09-2003 02:07									#20
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Well, when I first brought my wife, then girlfriend, over to my parent's house for Thanksgiving dinner for the first time, she was swept into a whirlwind of activity. Each of my relatives were telling her jokes, relating family secrets, yelling at each other in a semijovial fashion while trying to monopolize time with her. They were just trying to make her feel like she fit in but it so completely overwhelmed her that it took almost a year before I could get her back around my family again.

	16-09-2003 10:39									#21
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quote: and we have Japanese nationals that participate on this forum

No we don't, as far as I know.

quote: She's painfully shy and already nervous. So she fits the stereotype!

Yep.

quote: remove your shoes when entering a house (facing inwards I think, maybe sideways to be safe)

Toes pointed toward the door.

quote: What is it with asians and alcohol.

They're missing an enzyme Europeans have that breaks down alcohol. That's why they get drunk so easily.

quote: Do mo arigato go zay mas ta is formal thank you.

She's his family, not the Emperor. "Arigatou" should suffice. If she's from Kansai, break out the "okini" and she will adore you.

quote: It especially goes good with Kikomans soy sauce!

Kikkoman is the leading soy sauce company in Japan as well.

That's all. You should be fine, Harry. Even if you do make a gaffe, she'll more than likely let it slide since you're a gaijin.

	16-09-2003 10:43									#22
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Ki mi ga -- yo -- wa! Ye cho yi -- -- ya chi yo ni, sa za re, i shi no! I wa oo to na re te, ko ke no..mu -- su -- ma -- -- de!!!

	16-09-2003 10:43									#23
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I hate that song...

	17-09-2003 02:21									#24
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Wanna translate it for me?

	17-09-2003 04:44									#25
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quote: No we don't, as far as I know.

Doesn't DaShi have Japanese parents or something?

	17-09-2003 05:14									#26
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quote: Doesn't DaShi have Japanese parents or something?

I don't really know. He was the only one I wasn't sure about, but I seem to remember him not being Japanese (or at least a Japanese national) for some reason. I could be wrong, however.

	17-09-2003 05:41									#27
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I was under the impression that he's American. But his posting style is rather... ummm... brief. Almost like DinoDoc's.

	17-09-2003 05:56									#28
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Harry,

I'm sure she will love him long time


ack!

	22-09-2003 23:20									#29
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Update:

Satoko has been thoroughly Americanized. She still doesn't speak very good english but by the end of this weekend she had driven a truck, ridden horses, wrecked a truck, fed farm animals, pulled meat from a pit cooked hog, and been drug behind a speedboat at thirty miles per hour on an innertube. Plus, she got married in red, white, and blue sandals and can dance like The King. Good times.

	23-09-2003 00:00									#30
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quote: Satoko has been thoroughly Americanized. She still doesn't speak very good english but by the end of this weekend she had driven a truck, ridden horses, wrecked a truck, fed farm animals, pulled meat from a pit cooked hog, and been drug behind a speedboat at thirty miles per hour on an innertube. Plus, she got married in red, white, and blue sandals and can dance like The King. Good times.

Wrecked a truck?

-Arrian