26-09-2003 12:09									#31
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quote: He can get in to this EASILY

Depends how he plays his cards, and what Yvonne's feelings are for Vincent at this point (though it is a 4 year relationship at this point)

	26-09-2003 12:09									#32
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But if he gets in he is to NOT try and help her get over this dude

He has to know that he could get burned bad

	26-09-2003 12:11									#33
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quote: People who are still suffering "anguish" over an X that was quite a while ago are trouble.

Bullshit. Rough breakups and ex's that treated you like **** will leave scars, no matter how 'strong' you are. It is still lurking underneath the surface... especially if he told her crap like she isn't pretty enough, etc.

	26-09-2003 12:12									#34
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quote: What? She has been with this Vincent dude for 4 years?!?!?!?!?

Valentine's Day 1999 is when she started with him, IIRC.

That is why I said he missed the train. But who knows?

	26-09-2003 12:13									#35
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui Bullshit. Rough breakups and ex's that treated you like **** will leave scars, no matter how 'strong' you are. It is still lurking underneath the surface... especially if he told her crap like she isn't pretty enough, etc.

1) People that stick around for abusive relationships for any length of time are obviously insane to begin with
2) What's the problem if you break up? You break up, you move on, you find a new guy or you save money and download porn off Kazaa.

If there's one thing I can't stand it's people sobbing over ex's. I want to throttle them and tell them to get a clue.

	26-09-2003 12:14									#36
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Nah he didn't miss the train unless she gets married

But right now he needs to move on to someone else.

Also for him to try and date this chick sounds shady and disrespectful towards Vincent.

Check the game not the player

4 YEARS?!??!?!

	26-09-2003 12:18									#37
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quote: 1) People that stick around for abusive relationships for any length of time are obviously insane to begin with

Who says the relationship was abusive and not the breakup itself. There are something you can say during a breakup that can really mess the other person up.

quote: 2) What's the problem if you break up? You break up, you move on, you find a new guy or you save money and download porn off Kazaa.

Ah, I see our little Asher has no heart .

When you put your heart and soul into a relationship that lasts longer than a few years and then the partner rips your heart out at the end or at the breakup (telling her that she never was pretty, telling her she sucks in bed, telling her how horrible of a g/f she was, etc.) that is a recipe to make ANY woman insecure for years.

quote: Also for him to try and date this chick sounds shady and disrespectful towards Vincent.

Oh, very true. It seems like Yvonne is happy with Vincent (she stayed with him this long). No need to trample.

	26-09-2003 12:24									#38
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quote: Ah, I see our little Asher has no heart . When you put your heart and soul into a relationship that lasts longer than a few years and then the partner rips your heart out at the end or at the breakup (telling her that she never was pretty, telling her she sucks in bed, telling her how horrible of a g/f she was, etc.) that is a recipe to make ANY woman insecure for years.

I have an extreme distaste for drama.

And I know that's enough to make many (not any) women insecure, but I still think it's stupid.

It doesn't take a very bright mind to know that during a "rough" breakup mean things will be said, most of them not true. Further, why the hell does it matter what he thinks, he's obviously a jerk anyway with no taste.

It must be hard for guys to find girls that aren't drama queens. Such a shame.

	26-09-2003 12:30									#39
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quote: It doesn't take a very bright mind to know that during a "rough" breakup mean things will be said, most of them not true. Further, why the hell does it matter what he thinks, he's obviously a jerk anyway with no taste.

If he's a 'jerk with no taste' (as she'll tell her friends later) then why did she date him for so long? The reason is that she probably did, at some point, love him. That meant that she thought him to be wonderful. A lot of mean things will be said, and some of them may not be true, but I'm actually sure most of them WILL be true. When you just don't give a crap and don't want to see the person again, you'll likely go off and everything you wish you said but didn't.

quote: It must be hard for guys to find girls that aren't drama queens.

This is amusing coming from a gay guy .

	26-09-2003 12:33									#40
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui This is amusing coming from a gay guy .

And why is that amusing?
Most gay guys aren't drama queens, hell I thought we were the ones that had sex in every public washroom we could find.

Women are the ones who will crush your balls if you forget an anniversary, or ask you if they look fat, or whine every time you look at an attractive woman.

	26-09-2003 12:45									#41
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quote: Most gay guys aren't drama queens

Could have fooled me. All you have to do is look a little bit on this site. .

quote: Women are the ones who will crush your balls if you forget an anniversary, or ask you if they look fat, or whine every time you look at an attractive woman.

You need better women friends .

	26-09-2003 12:45									#42
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Yes, Asher, "Go Gay!"

Seriously, Asher is sort of right on this.

Say, how old is the guy now? His incompetence is staggering.

	26-09-2003 12:53									#43
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui You need better women friends .

Yes, my women friends are always on my case about my forgetting their anniversary, and my checking out of all of the hot women.

	26-09-2003 12:54									#44
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quote: my women friends are always on my case about my forgetting their anniversary, and my checking out of all of the hot women.

Obviously they do it to their boyfriends, or are you telling me you get all your information from tv?

	26-09-2003 12:56									#45
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I've no idea if they do it to their boyfriends, I've only got one girl that I'm friends with and she doesn't. Though she's an engineer and used to do dirty dancing, so she's a no-nonsense kind of girl herself.

I get most of this from my guy-friends who get in **** from their girlfriends all the time over stupid stuff.

	26-09-2003 12:59									#46
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This Howard guy needs to take a page out of the gay playbook and ditch love in favor of lust. Hit that ****.

	26-09-2003 13:41									#47
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Howard should do what needs doing, and that is helping someone he cares about.

If things work out for him afterward, he will be doubly blessed.

	26-09-2003 13:50									#48
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker F UCK NO The LAST person you want to be is the guy who gets his shoulder cried on

Amen, brother man.

Been there, done that.

	26-09-2003 13:55									#49
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quote: Originally posted by Asher 1) People that stick around for abusive relationships for any length of time are obviously insane to begin with

The ex-arse Stephen wasn't an abuser, he was a cheater. Yvonne dated him for 3 years or so, and Stephen was having a string of outside girlfriends and affairs.

In the end, she couldn't take it anymore.

	26-09-2003 13:57									#50
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quote: Originally posted by Azazel Say, how old is the guy now? His incompetence is staggering.

Howard? In his early 30's.

I wouldn't say he's incompetent, he's an excellent doctor. Of course, going through med school means he didn't have much time for dating.

	26-09-2003 14:00									#51
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quote: Originally posted by Imran Siddiqui And I don't think the girl is a trainwreck... I think Howard just messed it all up. I mean she was dropping the hints, asking about Valentine's Day and he missed the train.

I know. He has been beating up himself and his "advisors" [] since then.

	26-09-2003 14:00									#52
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You can easily see that I wasn't talking about his professional skills.

It's quite a shame, really.

	26-09-2003 14:03									#53
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Well for me personally hit it just means the act of hitting it

Howard doesn't just want sex with Yvonne, he wants her heart. Failing that, her friendship.

He could have loads of sex if he wants to. He's one of those specialist doctors. Women line up at his office and his home.

	26-09-2003 14:06									#54
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quote: Originally posted by Azazel You can easily see that I wasn't talking about his professional skills.

I know.

I'd say everybody has his weaknesses. It's just that he's particularly weak at this. ::sigh::

	26-09-2003 14:07									#55
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He needs to bite the bullet and speak his mind. He should ask her to go on a fancy date with him during which he should tell her how he feels, that he's felt this way about her for years, that he really hopes they could be more then friends, etc...

Last edited by Oerdin on 26-09-2003 at 14:57

	26-09-2003 14:10									#56
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quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Nah he didn't miss the train unless she gets married

That's what Howard is thinking.

quote: Originally posted by Ted Striker Also for him to try and date this chick sounds shady and disrespectful towards Vincent.

Vincent is not one of our friends, Howard is just worried about the woman. At least he is not using any dirty tricks and has been above board so far (AFAIK, anyway).

	26-09-2003 14:13									#57
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quote: Originally posted by Oerdin He needs to bight the bullet and speak his mind. He should ask her to go on a fancy date with him during which he should tell her how he feels, that he's felt this way about her for years, that he really hopes they could be more then friends, etc...

Him?

If he had the guts, he would have acted soon after Yvonne started dating this other guy, just to keep himself "in play," so to speak.

	26-09-2003 14:18									#58
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Scenario 1 - Yvonne really still wants Howard and is just marking time with Vincent. So Howard needs to step up to the plate. Most women (who are worth knowing) will respond to a guy who takes the initiative and is honest. Howard should come clean that he wants to be much more than friends, not in a soft way but clear and straightforward, but that he doesn't feel he can do so - and by implication help Yvonne - whilst Vincent is around. Yvonne will either get rid of Vincent and Howard is in or she won't and Howard should move on.

Scenario 2 - Yvonne is trouble. Howard should still do the same thing but Yvonne won't deal with Vincent or will otherwise mess around and it will be clear that Howard should look elsewhere.

Howard is a loser who either stops being a loser NOW or will be a loser until the end of his days.

	26-09-2003 14:44									#59
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For all his faults, calling Howard a loser is a bit over the top don't you think? So he was indecisive the first time around and now wouldn't let go, but don't we all have our own hang-ups?

	26-09-2003 15:00									#60
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quote: He needs to bight the bullet and speak his mind. He should ask her to go on a fancy date with him during which he should tell her how he feels, that he's felt this way about her for years, that he really hopes they could be more then friends, etc...

Agreed. Four years is a long time to be thinking of a missed Valentines Day. He's been bitten bad. At least this way, if worst comes to worst, he will get some closure.

Plenty of chance to gain, and even if he loses he wins.