26-09-2003 11:52									#1
	GCA Declaration of War Support Apolyton or Terrorists Win

I think the chivalrious thing to do is after playing our 121 war turn (actually right before GCA gets it) that we send them an official declaration of war. Technically we are breaking a NAP which is not something that is very honorable and we really don't have a legitimate excuse or loophole to do so (or do we? I forgot).

Therefore I think we send them a DoW. I immediatly though of using my declaration of war against GS in the PWTDG and simply replacing "GS" with "GCA". Then I said... nah, make a new one.

So, here goes:

quote: To the Gamecatcher Alliance The Empire of Apolyton regretfully announces that as of this turn a state of war exists between our two nations. It is an unfortunate decision which we have taken, one which has been discussed extensively, but ultimately it is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security. We understand that it will not be an easy fight. Your team has demonstrated extroardinary cunning and skill in its wars against CFC and CDG. We highly respect the fighting abilites of the Gamecatcher Alliance and expect it to be a worthy opponent. We are confident of victory but also confident that it is a formidable foe we will be facing in the turns ahead. Once again we reiterate that are motives are purely strategic in nature, and that there is no ill-will among us as teams and as players. We hold your team in the highest regard but we cannot shy from the course of action we have decided upon for the sake of our own. May the best team win, and may glory shine upon the brave who march forward to meet this challange. -Apolyton

a bit cheesy but well, we were rather good friends of them for a while. I understand we'll be taking a rep hit for breaking a NAP but this at least might soften the blow on a personal level.

-MZ

	26-09-2003 11:54									#2
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Didn't WB already write one up not too long ago?

In any case, so much for the deal regarding Map Making.

	26-09-2003 11:55									#3
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he did? I didn't see it... sorry.

	26-09-2003 11:55									#4
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not bad at all. Does this incorporate some of the language from WB's draft declaration?

I am also in FULL agreement that we should send this to them immediately after playing our turn. We should give them "fair notice", and do so in a polite and honorable fashion.

--Togas

	26-09-2003 12:01									#5
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This is WB's original DoW

again, apologies for not having noticed it. It is very well written

quote: To Lucky and the people of the Gamecatcher Alliance, The people of Apolyton, lead by our esteemed Consuls, have made a momentous decision in the history of our civilization. As of this turn, we at Apolyton have moved military units onto your side of our border. By definition, this is considered a formal declaration of war, rendering all treaties between us void. We fully recognize the ruthless efficiency with which GCA is able to carry out war on its enemies. This is a great turning point in the history of our continent and we are excited at the challenge you will present on the battlefield. We are not interested in negotiations or debates about the war at this time. We may consider a peaceful resolution to this conflict at a later date. Regards, WhiteBandit Apolyton Foreign Affairs Ministry

	26-09-2003 12:12									#6
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Has anyone even actively tried to contact GCA regarding MM? I mean trying like 4-5 times a day?

	26-09-2003 15:29									#7
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I like Master Zen's better, oddly enough.

However, MZ please proofread your letter for grammatical and spelling errors (I saw at least one "are" instead of "our", don't know what else might be in there)

	26-09-2003 18:23									#8
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We also have to inform CFC. Do we sent the same declaration or just do a chat ?

	26-09-2003 19:28									#9
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quote: Originally posted by rush We also have to inform CFC. Do we sent the same declaration or just do a chat ?

I'd recommend we just chat with CFC about it. It's likely that OctavianX will be in our chatroom ANYWAYS, so we can just mention to him that we've attacked.

	26-09-2003 19:52									#10
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OK - if we go with MZ's - some suggestions:

quote: To the Gamecatcher Alliance The Empire of Apolyton regretfully announces that as of this turn a state of war exists between our two nations. It is an unfortunate decision which we have taken, one which has been discussed extensively, but ultimately it is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security. We understand that it will not be an easy fight. Your team has demonstrated extroardinary cunning and skill in its wars against CFC and CDG. We highly respect the fighting abilites of the Gamecatcher Alliance and expect it to be a worthy opponent. We are confident of victory but also confident that it is a formidable foe we will be facing in the turns ahead. Once again we reiterate that are motives are purely strategic in nature, and that there is no ill-will among us as teams and as players. We hold your team in the highest regard but we cannot shy from the course of action we have decided upon for the sake of our own. May the best team win, and may glory shine upon the brave who march forward to meet this challange. -Apolyton

First line - drop the 'regretfully'. Clearly not true.

Second line - it is not an 'unfortunate' decision. That suggests it was just bad luck.

How about - The decison to go to war was a decsion that was discussed extensively, is not taken lightly, but ultimately it is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security.

Other references sound a bit condescending. And "cunning' has perjorative connotations.

Here - why don't I just suggest the following re-write - if that is OK MZ:

quote: To the Gamecatcher Alliance The Empire of Apolyton announces that as of this turn a state of war exists between our two nations. The decision to go to war is one that Apolyton has discussed extensively and is not taken lightly, but ultimately is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security. We understand that this will be a difficult war. Your team has demonstrated extraordinary tactics and skill in its wars against CFC and CDG. We highly respect the fighting abilites of the Gamecatcher Alliance. Once again we reiterate that our motives are purely strategic in nature, and that there is no ill will between us as teams or as players. We hold your team in the highest regard but we cannot shy from the course of action we have embarked upon for the sake of our own destiny. May the best team win, and may glory shine upon the brave who march forward to meet this challange. -Apolyton

	26-09-2003 20:21									#11
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I love it

	26-09-2003 20:56									#12
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Yeah, me too. What about inserting the last sentence of WB's letter before the last sentence of the MZ-Beta text (I particularly liked that part of WB's letter):

quote: We are not interested in negotiations or debates about the war at this time. We may consider a peaceful resolution to this conflict at a later date. May the best team win, and may glory shine upon the brave who march forward to meet this challange.

	26-09-2003 21:10									#13
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Yes - right on. That makes it very clear. So, the official, WB/MZ/Beta collaboration now reads:

quote: To the Gamecatcher Alliance The Empire of Apolyton announces that as of this turn a state of war exists between our two nations. The decision to go to war is one that Apolyton has discussed extensively and has not taken lightly, but ultimately is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security. We understand that this will be a difficult war. Your team has demonstrated extraordinary tactics and skill in its wars against CFC and CDG. We highly respect the fighting abilites of the Gamecatcher Alliance. Once again we reiterate that our motives are purely strategic in nature, and that there is no ill will between us as teams or as players. We hold your team in the highest regard but we cannot shy from the course of action we have embarked upon for the sake of our own destiny. We are not interested in negotiations or debates about the war at this time. We may consider a peaceful resolution to this conflict at a later date. May the best team win, and may glory shine upon the brave who march forward to meet this challange. -Apolyton

edited for grammar.

	26-09-2003 22:05									#14
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Ok, I can say I fully support this last 3 way collaboration!

Except for one small error:

The decision to go to war is one that Apolyton has discussed extensively and is has not taken lightly, but ultimately it is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security.

Last edited by BigFree on 26-09-2003 at 22:14

	26-09-2003 22:18									#15
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Actually, the original grammar is correct as well. Adding 'it' is simply adding a second noun, already implied by the decision. Gramatically, the easy way to assess this is to see if the sentence would read correctly if dismantled like this:

The decision to go to war is one that Apolyton has discussed extensively and ....

"The decision" ....is not taken lightly, but ultimately ...

"The decision" ... is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security.

That being said, both are grammatically correct.

Perhaps we should poll on it.

	26-09-2003 22:25									#16
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It's the:

has discussed extensively ...

compared to the:

is not taken lightly, but ultimately ...


I thought they should both use has to keep the tenses the same.

	26-09-2003 22:31									#17
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Now that I agree with. Missed it completely both the first and second times around.

Beta's writing skills - acceptable.
Beta's reading skills - need improvement.

	26-09-2003 22:49									#18
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this thread sounds like Basic English 101...

I think WB's first paragraph should be included also as it details the technicality which causes the war (i.e. our very very very lame loophole)

	27-09-2003 02:42									#19
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::Waves his english teaching experience around::

Do we really want to go here? :P

They won't dwell on the grammar that heavily, guys- they'll on the save that shows the Medieval Infantry marching. Send it already. :P

Edit: PS- if you want to be insanely picky, take out either "Once again" or "We reiterate." Right now you're saying "We reiterate for the second time" or "We say for the third time" when in fact you only refer to the non-personal nature of this war once before, thereby meriting ONLY a "once again" OR a "we reiterate."



Edit: PS 2 - you could also probably edit "We are not interested in negotiation or debate...." and take out "Debate." Debate suggests that there would be a two-sided discussion with argument on both sides, and if you aren't willing to negotiate the subject, this clearly indicates that a debate is impossible - because the fundamental nature OF a debate, after all, is negotiation - just usually without as much compromise and a bit more posturing, at least at first. Further, there is nothing to debate about the war - it is definitely going on, and we started it. You could debate the CAUSES or REASONS FOR the war, but not the war itself. So just take "Debates" out and leave it as negotiations, which sounds more professional anyhow. No need to throw in extra words, right?

Okay, I'll stop now, I promise.

Last edited by Fried-Psitalon on 27-09-2003 at 02:50

	27-09-2003 02:51									#20
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Maybe we should send via snail-mail? With formal signatures, stamps and all. Seems more "official" to me... ;-)

	27-09-2003 03:09									#21
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* E_T feels that he has lernt much more about english, today....



E_T

	27-09-2003 03:37									#22
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eek...

This is reminding me of writing a chapter for a textbook that I collaborated with others to write for a research job I had 4 years ago. Well, I was more of the editor given the lack of grammatical prowess among my collaborators (along with a poor understanding of statistics from one of the principle writers). Working with the same group to TA a class where the professor had us helping the students with their writing was rather scary as well.

	27-09-2003 04:15									#23
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This peace of document will probably win the "Most gramatically correct declaration of war of all times" title (uhh, is there such a thing: "most correct" ? )

Nevertheless, I like it

	27-09-2003 04:31									#24
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quote: Originally posted by Tiberius This peace of document

That's "piece of document" sir.

	27-09-2003 04:58									#25
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F-P. Great stuff. And you are right about the points you raise. I will modify accordingly. After all, it is the King's English we are writing here.

MZ - I will revisit WB's first para.

And Tiberius - if you would take this PIECE of chalk please, and write 100 times ....

	27-09-2003 07:09									#26
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OK. Latest version given the substantive and grammatical suggestions.

quote: To the Gamecatcher Alliance The Empire of Apolyton announces that a state of war now exists between our two nations. As of this turn, we at Apolyton have moved military units onto your side of our border. By definition, this is considered a formal declaration of war, rendering all treaties between us void. The decision to go to war is one that Apolyton has discussed extensively and has not taken lightly, but ultimately is the path that our nation must take for the sake of its long-term security. We understand that this will be a difficult war. Your team has demonstrated extraordinary tactics and skill in its wars against CFC and CDG. We highly respect the fighting abilites of the Gamecatcher Alliance. We reiterate that our motives are purely strategic in nature, and that there is no ill will between us as teams or as players. We hold your team in the highest regard but we cannot shy from the course of action we have embarked upon for the sake of our own destiny. We are not interested in negotiations about the war at this time. We may consider a peaceful resolution to this conflict at a later date. May the best team win, and may glory shine upon the brave who march forward to meet this challange. -Apolyton

	27-09-2003 08:49									#27
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Lemme take a stab at this: I will not be offended if you choose not to use any of it, all of it, or anything in between, or whatever. Just my own whack at it with an English teacher's background. Attempts were made to enhance brevity, official sound, and ominous-ness.


Gamecatcher Alliance:

The Empire of Apolyton declares a state of war between our nations. At this time, Apolytonian units have crossed our shared border. Clearly, this is a declaration of war, rendering all treaties null and void.

Our decision is a considered one, based on our needs and long-term security. Be assured that this war is not based on ill will, and your team continues to be held in the highest respect.

We will not entertain negotiation in any form at this time. Should we consider peace an option at a later date, we will contact you.

May the best team win, and may whatever gods you worship have mercy on your souls.

By the hand of the Consuls.
The Empire of Apolyton.

	27-09-2003 12:24									#28
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Hm, it's not bad either... I like your brevity, F-P... perhaps we could send a multiple choice DoW?

	27-09-2003 13:09									#29
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Maybe we can send them all versions, to show that we're really making an effort here ..?

	27-09-2003 13:27									#30
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quote: Originally posted by Fried-Psitalon That's "piece of document" sir.

So here I come, winning the "Funniest mistake" contest, for calling a declaration of war a "peace of document"

Now only if I could find a piece of monkey poo to throw at Beta ...